The only 'wonder' of Thedas is how everything got to be so very brown.

[dwarfing]

WHO: Shale & Open
WHAT: Catch-all for all your grumpy golem needs.
WHEN: April
WHERE: Courtyard/Warden Camp
NOTES: Grumpy statues and probably bird harm

Courtyard

When not out murdering bears with scouts or anything in general with Zevran, the large golem could be found in the Skyhold Courtyard, right by the stairs to the upper area with the entrance to the main keep and the sparring ring. Nothing else seemed to hold for the weight of them, so Shale was forced to stay put and watch people. Something they had quite enough of in Honnleath, thank you very much.

A golem isn't quite what you'd expect to see in Skyhold, however - at least not one without a control rod - and by now Shale really wished they had a sign to say that they were a free and thinking being, considering how many asked. Their patience was thinner than the Veil by a Rift right now, and it showed.

(They're still not sorry for the man they slapped across the yard for trying to snap off one of their precious crystals. At least he didn't die, and rumors not to piss the golem off had spread quickly.)

Unfortunately that also meant that Shale was very alone and endlessly bored. The Blight had been a lot more interesting than just waiting around all the time for people to get their asses in gear and go punch an evil Magister.

Come bother them?

Warden Camp

At other times, they made their way over to the Warden Camp to bother the people there... or to just snark at Alistair, who knows. Generally not the most sociable of creatures, Shale still felt the most at ease with the old companions from the Blight, and that also meant meeting more crazy people that knew Jonas.

...and them meeting Shale.

Wildcard

Fight them? Compliment them? Flirt? Sarcasm contest?

Comments

[dwarfing]

The golem makes a non-committal sound at that, but they do tip their head back a bit when Merrill mentions it - not so much for the possible (read: impossible) sting in their eyes, but because the collar chiseled around their neck was filling up with water. For a brief moment, Shake is their own little waterfall.

That brush really works well, though, for the old mud, dust and you-don't-want-to-know stuck in every crack and hollow in their stone. It's quite possible Shale's head hasn't been this clean in centuries. They might draw the line at moss growing on them, but otherwise hygiene isn't really a golem thing.

Shale can't really feel anything, but for some reason? It's nice.

[chainlightning]

And what a lovely waterfall! The splashing makes Merrill giggle a little, and she doesn't move out of the way -- she's going to get dirty and wet cleaning anyway, after all. The point is far more about getting Shale clean than staying clean herself.

It seems to be working, too. Every once in a while she has to pause to pull a particularly thick build-up off of the brush, or pull a bit at something clinging to Shale with her fingernails, but otherwise it's steady work. It's almost soothing in its routine, even if she's never given a golem a bath before, or even spoken to the golem before now.

[dwarfing]

The elf is... odd, but this is all very agreeable to the golem and they calmly watch as mud and grime is brushed away, leaving fine grey-brown stone and glimmering runes. Some of the rock is cracked in places after a particularly nasty hit, but Shale doesn't seem to care much as the brush scrapes off some little pieces and whatnot.

Again, it almost feels good, despite the fact that they cant feel. Maybe it's just something in their head. A memory of getting clean.

Maybe Shayle's memories.

That makes the golem shake their head a bit, sloshing a bit more water down over the poor elf as she worked on the stone body.

[chainlightning]

This time, it's less of a giggle and more of a shriek of surprise -- but it does turn into laughter, even as she shakes her head and lets more water splatter about. At this rate, she's not sure if she'll need her own bath when she's finished here.

"Can I ask about your crystals? I mean- did you pick the color, or...?"

The Dalish don't really have golems, after all. Still, Merrill figures it can't hurt to try and have a conversation with one.

[dwarfing]

Oh, Merrill with definitely need a bath after this. Shale has dirt older than her Keeper stuck in their cracks, after all. Mix that with water and it's ancient mud.

Hearing the elf ask about the crystals, the golem shrugs. "They are nature crystals. I found most of them in the Deep Roads." While learning about themselves. About Shayle.

"There were other kinds, but these are... shiny." Well, all crystals were, but they liked that color (and effect) the best.

[chainlightning]

Maybe it's good for the skin!

"They've lovely! Do you collect the other kinds and just not wear them?" Merrill is probably going to start bringing Shale shiny rocks, if so.

The Deep Roads, though... the thought of the place makes her shake her head. She keeps working, but there is a slight pause. "You didn't encounter any red lyrium down there, did you?"

[dwarfing]

The most ancient mud mask! Quite an honor, really.

"I used to have others. Now these are the ones left." Broken, lost, left in places they never went back to again. These served well enough, and... they still had the remarkable gems Jonas had given them. Hidden safely.

The elf's next question makes the golem look slightly disgusted, shaking their head. "No. I did not see any of it until it was above ground. Here. Corrupting and false." It felt so wrong to even be near it.

[chainlightning]

"I'm glad you didn't have to run into it," Merrill says, soft, pausing in her scrubbing for just a moment before she throws herself back into it. "It's horrible, isn't it?"

Rhetorical question.

"If I find any nice crystals, would you like to see them? I'm always looking for things like that and it'd be nice to know someone else appreciates them."

There Shale, it's like she's not even doing it just to be nice to you. She is, but she also isn't certain if the golem will take that as friendly or as an attempt at some sort of bribe.

[dwarfing]

Shale makes some kind of agreeing noise at the badness of red lyrium, remembering the jutting crystals found here and there on their way to Skyhold... and the few templars they had crushed under their fists. Eyes and veins red with the lyrium's influence.

Some had looked like a twisted version of themself, even. Shards sticking out like Shale's own.

The golem huffs a bit and then pays attention to the elf again. Now she was babbling about other crystals, and showing them to Shale? Either they were trying to be friends or taking a stab at that favor again, but it seemed so... what was that word that squishy people used? Fluffy?

"It is an odd little elf."

[chainlightning]

She's heard worse. In fact, Merrill laughs, smiling up at the golem with a little shrug.

"I hear that a lot."

Oftentimes in much less polite terms. It isn't usually because she has decided to give a golem a bath, either. Still, the golem isn't exactly normal either, in comparison to either golems or members of the Inquisition.

"I've always figured there are worse things to be."

[dwarfing]

"It is not wrong." There were far worse things to be than a little strange. (Like being a bird.)

Honestly, the elf was growing on Shale, and not only because of the wash and the company. She seemed a little odd, yes, but considering the people the golem usually hung around with, that was pretty much a requirement. No, it was more the fact that they were talking about nothing.

It was making the stillness seem a little less still, no matter how useless the topic was.

"It has made me very shiny." Shale finally adds as Merrill reaches the thick legs and feet. "Thank you."

[chainlightning]

If there is one thing Merrill can say for sure, it's that she is not a bird.

"You're very welcome! You catch the light wonderfully."

The gratitude is nice, more than, especially since Shale hadn't asked her to do it in the first place. She smiles up at Shale for a moment before looking back down to finish cleaning.

"If you'd ever like it done again, I'd be happy to do it."

[dwarfing]

The sparkling was undeniable, especially if they moved their arm in such a way that the sun hit the green crystals just right. It would be a lie to say that the golem didn't enjoy that sparkle just as much as they liked crushing enemies.

"Why?" They ask, and this time it's only curiosity without the underlying suspicion. Why would the elf be happy? Was she as bored as they were?

[chainlightning]

That's definitely part of it. "I like to keep busy. And if I can keep busy by helping people, then that seems- well, it seems like the best way for me to keep busy. I like to do it, and besides, it's not like we can't use all the help we can get."

Corypheus, after all, broke the Veil. That's kind of a big deal.

[dwarfing]

"Such a strange little elf," Shale muses out loud, but they don't actually sound like they mean it in a bad way.

"If it wants me to crush something for it, maybe I will." That, if anything, was good praise from the large golem - it was willing to go back on their word of not letting this mean a favor.

[chainlightning]

Merrill flashes a smile up at the golem, pausing to wring some of the muddy water out of her rag.

"Do you like to crush things? I'm not very good at it, personally." As if that weren't obvious.

[dwarfing]

Shale nods at that. "It is very satisfying to crush one's enemies. If a little messy at times." They make a fist, like they're emphasizing the love for smashing foes. "It is enjoyable. Does it not like to destroy its enemies?"

The elf seemed really soft. Did it even fight?

[chainlightning]

"I definitely like not letting them be able to hurt me or my friends again," Merrill says, rubbing at her chin. Does that count? She supposes it's close enough.

"But I've never really learned how to- crush things. Well, I can throw magic rocks at them, I suppose."

[dwarfing]

Shale nods sagely at that. Merrill is quite right on that part, and the golem grind their fists together a little bit as if they're longing to punch some enemies. (For the sake of comrades or not.)

The next part, however, makes them curious. "...magic rocks?"

[chainlightning]

"Magic rocks. Well- I suppose the rock isn't necessarily magic? But it is, a bit, because it can do even more damage than a regular rock that was thrown. And magic is used to throw it."

Wow, what a great explanation. Sorry, Shale.

[dwarfing]

The golem makes a disapproving sound at that, shaking their head. "Mages are now making rocks magical." There's a long-suffering sigh, because honestly. "At least it is using it to hit people. That is very appropriate."

Shale kind of prefers throwing rocks instead of magicking them, though. It just... felt wrong. Too close to the Anvil stuff for their comfort.

[chainlightning]

She's- not quite sure how to react to that, but Merrill nods. "Mostly just the Dalish, I think. We're rather used to rocks and plants. And it's very useful, as far as hitting people goes!" It certainly packs more of a physical punch than other things she might throw, like her own fists.

But there's a more pressing question, here. "Are you not comfortable around mages?"

[dwarfing]

Shale frowns a bit and cross their now squeaky-clean arms with shining crystals. Merrill really did an amazing job on them, they had to admit that.

"I was owned by a mage for a while," they say with a bit of bitterness in their tone. "He enjoyed controlling me, treating me like a tool." Wilhelm, the only person they actually didn't refer to as an 'it'.

[chainlightning]

There is immediately a gasp, one hand coming up to cover her mouth. "How horrible!"

In some people, it might sound false or over-dramatic. With Merrill- well, it mostly sounds earnestly upset. Maybe still overly dramatic for Shale's tastes, but certainly genuine.

"I'm glad you got away from him."

[dwarfing]

This elf really was such a strange one, wasn't she? Merrill honestly reminded Shale of how Leliana used to be, and that was... interesting. Maybe a little sad.

"I think I killed him." They say, almost flippantly. "But he must have deactivated me, because I could no longer move. I stood in that cursed place for three decades before the Warden freed me."

There's a big, pointedly irritated shrug. "So no. I do not like mages... but it is not so bad."