Let No Soul Hunger For Justice: Nothing But The Truth

[justice_is_blond]

WHO: Adelaide, Alistair, Anders, Bethany, Nathaniel, Varric, Vasran, Velanna
WHAT: The Second Ritual
WHEN: 10th of Bloomingtide (May 10th)
WHERE: half an hour outside of Skyhold
NOTES: Plotting post.

They've kept to the same clearing as the last, because the location's good. Far enough away that no one could stumble upon them by accident, near enough in case something went seriously wrong, it works.

He has scarcely more hope this time than he did the last, but at least there's no singing involved. This can't go as strangely. In theory.

Comments

[pinprick]

It matters very little. I've been ten years a Warden already. I'll not have another ten.

[It had seemed like a wealth of time, once. Now that he has someone to really live for, it feels far too short. Far too little time to have with someone.]

[fleurdesel]

All the more reason to make the most of what time you have.

[ She sets her glass aside, extending a hand. ]

And make what time you do have comfortable. Let me.

[pinprick]

[He looks a little puzzled, but he sets the pipe aside.]

What are you going to do?

[fleurdesel]

...I am a spirit healer, Nathaniel. What is it you think I am going to do?

[pinprick]

I meant less generally. Am I supposed to take your hand, or...?

[fleurdesel]

You could and I might cast in that way but-

[ It would be more efficient, she would like to say. That is not what comes out of her mouth. ]

I have been waiting for an excuse to feel your muscles for some time and would rather rest my hand on your chest.

...

Merde!

[pinprick]

[Nathaniel's face changes. His eyes widen and grow vacant, staring into space somewhere behind her shoulder, and his face reddens. And he takes her hand instead of letting her feel his chest.]

[fleurdesel]

Please never mention that.

[ She is in favor of ignoring it'd ever come out of her mouth. Hand to hand, cool blue light glimmers through her fingers as Compassion does their work. Whatever ache or curls of that illness his smoking might have caused. ]

[pinprick]

Well, I have to tell someone.

[Dammit.]

[fleurdesel]

No, no you don't.

[ This is not something she needs in her life right now. ]

[pinprick]

You can't expect me not to tell Anders. He could use a good laugh.

[There are some things even Fereldans lie about, like whether or not they will laugh behind someone else's back later.]

[fleurdesel]

And then he will tease me about it while we are working and that is not something I know how to handle having again just yet, if ever.

[ It's too much like before. It's too easy to forget when he's like that. ]

[pinprick]

Laughing and teasing is when you have the least to fear from him. Justice does neither. Is that what's wrong?

[fleurdesel]

Yes.

[ Spirits she can handle. A flirtatious, kind man? One she'd already come to care for, one she already liked? ]

[pinprick]

He's not a bad person. He doesn't mean it in malice. Or--

You're saying you're not ready to be his friend again.

[He shouldn't ask. He really shouldn't ask. He's a gentleman. He doesn't press an advantage when someone is vulnerable, unless they're darkspawn. But Adelaide hurts. Other mages vary in how they feel about Anders, but she has taken this all very close. And Anders cares about her.]

Would you say why?

[There. That's a little softer, maybe she won't be compelled to answer.]

[fleurdesel]

[ With a final pulse of magic, she pulls her hand away. Job done. Purpose fulfilled. She, they, could leave now. Find somewhere else to sit and hide and wait for this to blow over before people begin to ask-

Well.

Things like that. ]

...I trusted him. He broke that trust. [ That is true. That is simple. That is part of the problem, that it is not so simple, but these things are true and small. ] Is that not enough?

[pinprick]

Open and shut, then. Someone breaks your trust once, they are dead to you. Is that how it is?

Or is it just the ones who threw your life into an upheaval several years before you met them?

[fleurdesel]

I am allowed to be cautious with my regard.

[pinprick]

I'm...sorry. Forgive my presumption.

[It's hard to let go of this, because--and now he's talking again.]

I wish I could say it's because I'm only concerned about you. Or even Anders. That would make me half-righteous. I'm only meddling because seeing other people in estrangement pains me.

[oh for fuck's sake]

[fleurdesel]

By all means, have an opinion on how soon if ever I am to forgive him and welcome him back into my life. Everyone else seems to.

[ She snorts a laugh. ]

Then you ought to be pained by every mage and every family from which they came, but this is personal for you in some way and therefore worth prodding.

[pinprick]

Now who's being intrusive?

[But everyone is a hypocrite, including Nathaniel. The truth is going to come whether he trusts Adelaide not to laugh at him or not.]

My parents only cared about their children insofar as we were useful in their games against each other. Mother wanted me out of the family and mostly succeeded. The only people who loved me were my sister and my nurse, and my nurse was sent away. So when people who care about each other deliberately estrange themselves, I'm not usually impressed by the reasons. You and Anders care about each other. Is there such an excess of caring in your life that you can afford to throw swaths of it away?

[fleurdesel]

I don't-

[ Care, she wants to say. She does not care. She cannot care. There is too much at stake for her to risk with care, but the words do not come. ]

I do not-

[ Frustrated, she scowls into her wine, jaw working against the lie she can't even spare for herself. ]

It is not so simple a matter as that.

[pinprick]

Why not?

[fleurdesel]

Because he is still in the eyes of many a War Criminal. Because I am obligated to more than myself. Because everything I do in the public eye will be scrutinized and held up as a reason for or against the old systems when time comes to judge whether or not the Circles ought to be reinstated. If I lived for myself, as only a healer, as only a teacher-

Perhaps then it would matter less and be simpler. But I do not.

[pinprick]

So you're denying him, and yourself, because people who'll forget about him in a year or two have opinions.

[A sigh.]

Adelaide, everyone condemn easy targets like Anders, or even like myself. Even the evil find it an easy thing to do, condemning. There are a couple of heroes of the Fifth Blight who killed at least as many people as Anders for poorer reasons, and they are celebrated. You're not going to prove righteous intent by condemning a man who paid for his crimes well before he committed them, because the act itself isn't righteous. You can't just appear good for political purposes, or you're no better than every other hypocrite in politics. If you are good, honorable, then the rumors and whispers don't matter very much. Not everyone will know the truth, but enough people will. The right people will. And you needn't think I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm a Howe.