[Closed] The best part of leaving

[justice_is_blond]

WHO: Anders, Nathaniel Howe
WHAT: Coming back to Skyhold from Halamshiral
WHEN: Nowish
WHERE: Kestral House
NOTES: Probably sap, possibly heavier themes, probably adult content WTG TORI.

There'd been a few things to drop off at the healing tents, a couple of reports to make, but as soon as those are done Anders is headed straight for the Kestral house. He's missed Nate. And while missing someone is nothing new, there is now a hope every time they're parted. He'll see Nate again.... like right now, as he ducks back into the sleeping are and finds the curtained portion that's theirs.

"Where's Purrelden? I've missed her." The mischief in his smile says a lot, but the fact that he's reaching for the archer instead of the cat that's currently sitting on Lady says the rest.

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[justice_is_blond]

He shoots Nate a look that's full of apology as he slowly gets up as well. It's very early, he'd been restless, and Anders suddenly feels guilty about his request. Maybe he can make it up alone, somehow, even though he doesn't even want to put on his robes or leave the building.

"If... It's, I mean, it's early. Earlier than you usually have to, to be up." Purrelden takes a seat on his robes as he pulls his leggings on, and Maker, he's tired. He doesn't want to move her. But he needs to. He needs to keep moving because if he stops he's done because everything ahead of him is daunting.

His hands tighten in the fabric as he takes a shaky breath. One step at a time. He's upright, leggings on. Now the robes, and he shoos Purrelden off gently. They're tugged on, falling into place, and next are socks and boots. He can manage this when it's broken down, if he doesn't think.

"If you need to sleep, love..." He doesn't want to be a burden on Nate. The possibility terrifies him and he works to focus back on tugging footwear on.

[pinprick]

Oh, yeah. That's why he's doing this.

Nathaniel turns around and kisses Anders without warning--deeply, passionately, stopping his mouth and hopefully his entire thought process, pouring all the morning grump and nighttime frustration out into the act. When he breaks away, he spends a moment breathless with relief and, to be truthful, a degree of lust.

"Well," he announces, some good nature coming to his voice, "there'll be no going back to sleep now."

[justice_is_blond]

Anders melts into the kiss, eyes staying closed for a few moments after just to retain that feeling. Somehow Nate seems to know exactly what to do to help, and when he opens his eyes he's still feeling stressed, but far less so. Nate's all right. The grunt and silence had just been him getting up, and Anders gives Nate a small, warm look.

"You're going to make me go to work after kissing me like that?" But it's teasing now, light and tentative, as he manages his bootlaces. There's just standing up and grabbing his staff left, and Anders gives himself a moment to breathe, looking at the old, sturdy thing. Nathaniel loves him; he can do this. He can. He has to, and he can, and he manages to push himself up off the bed and cross the small room, taking hold of his staff. There. He's up, Nate's up, his staff is in hand, Purrelden hops up to the desk making it easy to pick her up and put her on his shoulder, now all that's left is the hard part.

"Or it's something to look forward to, for when I'm back." For after he manages to walk. He realizes he's been taking a lot of very short breaths and forces himself to breathe more deeply, to not get too worked up.

[pinprick]

"I was thinking the latter," Nathaniel says soft and low as he fastens everything and sweeps on his cloak. He flashes a wicked grin. "Something to get you through the day, till the next one. When you come back, I will have a special ravishing planned for you."

He hasn't decided what it will be yet, but he'll come up with something by then. He holds his arm out to him, as if to escort him onto a dancing floor.

[justice_is_blond]

The kiss, the promises, and an offered arm? He gets a little misty-eyed as he takes Nate's arm, reflecting on how he's the one this man has fallen in love with.

"Mein Bärchen." His voice is equally quiet; there's no need to wake up the other Wardens. "To have you at my side, after everything..." Nate's arm gets a squeeze. Anders has not been lucky in much, at all, but in this? He's the luckiest person in Skyhold. Possibly all of Thedas.

"Thank you." Like this, he can make it. "And I'll most definitely be looking forward to the special ravishing."

[pinprick]

Nathaniel covers Anders' hand with his own and beams at him, suddenly feeling unbearably proud of this man. He has seen his own true colors, and instead of giving up, he has chosen to move forward and keep helping people every day.

They walk while Nathaniel puts together the words he thought of last night. When they are out of earshot of the bedroom, he speaks.

"You're the strongest person I know. You spent years trying to escape the Circle and you succeeded. You defeated every Templar assassination plot, you fought the Mother beside the Hero of Ferelden, you helped defeat the Arishok and the tyrant who brought Kirkwall to its knees, you housed a violent spirit and when it became unmanageable you actually reversed the possession. Just one of those things would make you a hero to me. I'm so proud of you."

[justice_is_blond]

At first he can't help watching for people watching for him, but as Nate talks, his attention is more and more focused on his lover. Hero. It's the opposite of everything he's heard, and he's never been told that someone's proud of him.

His hands are shaking a little by the time Nate's done, and he squeezes Nate's arm tightly.

"I seem to remember someone at my side for many of those." The smile he gives Nate is watery and weak, but it's there. The plots, the Mother, Meredith, ending his possession, and now today, too. "And someone who found himself despite his family, who made his own path when so many wanted him to fail, who made an absolutely stupid decision to love an abomination and stand with him. You're my hero, Nathaniel, and I love you so much."

[pinprick]

Nathaniel blushes, eyes sparkling as Anders talks. He's never heard that much praise heaped on him before. He's not sure if he can accept it all at once, but he won't argue. He'll keep picking it over, take it all in as the day goes by, and by then he will be okay with it. He leans in to give Anders another kiss.

"I love you too. We'll be all right. Everything we've been through has given us the strength for this."