faderift | [closed-ish] all you can do's try to know who your friends are

WHO: Sina and close CR
WHAT: Explaining an upcoming experiment. It might make her better, it might kill her.
WHEN: late August
WHERE: hither and thither
NOTES: Warning for mention of death/sickness, possibly body horror?

Sina has a lot of ground to cover, and has requested that Adelaide hold off on meeting Fenris until she can make sure she's gotten a chance to put her affairs in order, as they stand.

She looks deceptively healthy for the news she's about to give, and this is why now is the time: not after there's another accident or illness, but now, when she's at what is potentially her peak health with the shard present. They might have a solution, but if they should go through with it, it will be risky.

Each friend she approaches gets the same explanation, before they can interrupt or ask questions: she and Adelaide are going to meet Fenris, and explore the possibility of whether he can use his lyrium tattoos to extract the shard. There's no way to know how it will react, but if this works, she has a chance at a full life and the Inquisition will be armed with more knowledge on how to help the Rifters.
She could also just die from it, she concedes with shaking hands and a distant look, but they'll be conducting some tests first to lessen the chances. This isn't goodbye, or even approaching one, because goodbye means there's no hope, and hope is what brought her across the Waking Sea and half of Ferelden to meet all of you.

(variations in her approach:)

Nari is asked to be present for the meeting, having been Sina's constant companion and source of strength in all things.

Ellana is approached with some amount of awkwardness, but perhaps it's time to put all that aside.

Bruce, Anders, Vivienne, and Pel are told in the context of seeking additional insight or knowledge on how it could go more smoothly, or any other factors they might need to keep in mind.

Araceli and Samwise are told somewhat gently, and perhaps with additional reassurance, being that they are in general quite sensitive people who share Sina's fear of the shards.

Beleth, Korrin, and Jamie are told more directly, with the implication that she finds her own strength and humor in theirs. She feels safer knowing them.

Additionally, there is a note to Leliana explaining the purpose and potential of what they're doing. She is asked to be circumspect and not discuss it with any other influential figure until the procedure is completed, for better or worse. She is also thanked for her help and encouraged to continue fighting for the Elvhen, even if Sina should be absent in the future.

[if I missed anyone please speak up!! I definitely didn't omit you on purpose, I'm just doing this off the top of my head]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

At the sight of Nari's tears, Sina couldn't help shedding a few in empathy, but was all the quicker to hug her tightly. "You've done so much for me already," she shakily whispered into her friend's shoulder, "I almost hate to ask it of you. But perhaps..."
She pulled back, smiled tearfully, and extended one pale hand to wipe the moisture from beneath her clansister's eyes. "...perhaps we can find something, Nari. Perhaps the nightmare can end. And we can go home."
She was reassuring herself of this as much as if not more than she was Nahariel, but it was all she had. "The road is before us," she said softly, "we must follow it until we can't anymore."

Nahariel nodded, intercepting Sina's hand as it withdrew with her own and giving it a squeeze.

"Better to have a road than wander lost without one," she said, giving a second soft squeeze before releasing it, "even if it leads to..." Green eyes flickered away for a second, the hunter still unable to say the words, despite what she'd been thinking. "Hardship," she finished, lamely. "At least we can be sure we're not trudging circles in a dark forest anymore."

"Where you go, I go, da'vhenan. Whatever happens, you won't be alone."

Sina accepted Nari's hand, lacing their fingers together and looking fondly down at the contrast in their skin. She nodded with a small smile, at least glad that her clansister was willing to go along with her hopeful analogy. Whether or not it was fool's hope remained to be determined.
"...at least there is a road," she said with a wider, almost apologetic smile, "and in a way, I'm blessed that I can't yet see the end of it."

And just like that, Nahariel's vision grew liquid again, the tears brightening the grass-green of her eyes.

"Ir abelas, da'vhenan, forgive me," she whispered, lowering her forehead to rest on Sina's shoulder. She wanted to be close, but found herself unable to look at the young First's face. "I thought... I thought I could see it. The end of it. And..." She choked on the words, throat closing around the shame of them. "That's why I was avoiding you, I couldn't... I thought I could be strong for you but I couldn't, I couldn't see you work so hard to get stronger when all it would do is stall!"

Her nose dripped, and she couldn't tell if it was tears or else.

"Seeing you smile, or laugh... it was worse. I could see Falon'Din's hands on you and the smile I loved was like parchment over a lie so I couldn't look. You needed me and I was weak. A coward." Nari laughed then, just a single bark; bitter, short, thick. "Or maybe you didn't need me. Maybe you don't. Maybe I just thought you needed me."

Her fingers fisted, her short nails pressing into her palms. Whatever dripped from her nose continued slowly, succumbing to the pull of the land.

"Maybe it was me who needed you.

"I'm sorry."

This was... a lot for Sina to hear. She didn't know quite how to react from the start, watching Nari with an expression torn between sympathy and shock, perhaps even guilt. She had known for a while that she was probably leaning too heavily on her clansister, but had no idea it had gone this far and cut so deep.
"..I do need you," she said at last, half-choking on the words as she fought to keep herself from crying. "..but you can't... Nari, you..." She trailed off helplessly, but joined her other hand to Nari's, holding both tightly in hers. "...I can't give up," she said in the same quavering tone, somewhat less controlled, "the clan... I have to be there. We have to go back." Tears spilling from her eyes, she met Nari's gaze. "It can't end like this."

The sympathy and kindness and pleading... it wasn't what she'd expected to hear after such an admission.

"W-why..." Nari stuttered slightly, winced internally to hear it. "Why aren't you angry with me? I stopped believing! I g--" the word stuck in her throat. She wiped her nose angrily on her shoulder, hands still clutched in Sina's, took another breath and pushed through. "I gave up when you needed others to have that faith!"

The older elf's voice was filled with venom--every bit of it directed right back at its source.

Unfortunately, as it tended to be in such times, it was difficult for Sina not to perceive Nari's anger as somehow directed at her. She didn't know how to answer: she wasn't angry herself, but perhaps she should be? She stared dumbly at her clansister, eyes brimming and tired, unsure of what to say.

Seeing the look in her clansister's eyes, Nahariel's anger deflated as quickly as it had blown up. She wrapped Sina in a sudden and fierce embrace, pressed her cheek into the younger elf's hair, words coming out in a watery tumble.

"Ir abelas. I'm so sorry. Tel'numa, da'vhenan, ma halani. Anything you need, okay? You'll get through this. As long as you want me, I'll be there."

She chuckled, a slightly garbled sound. "Longer, until I annoy you with my love for you. Bellanaris."

Sina drew a quick breath when embraced so suddenly, but quickly sank into it, her thin hands clasping over Nari's back. "You will never annoy me," she whispered, relieved but also tired.

Nari smiled--the first fully genuine one in a while--and loosened her grip slightly to make the embrace a gentler one. She kissed Sina's hair where her cheek had pressed just a moment ago. After a while in silence, just enjoying the comfortable closeness, Nari spoke quietly.

"I'm sorry I yelled. I..." She paused for the space of a breath, then continued. "Well. Let me not make more for you to worry about, mm? You've enough. And I'm okay." The hunter pulled back so Sina could see her face, and nodded slightly, smiled again so her clansister would know she wasn't dissembling. "Would you like to sit? I'll tell you about the carving I'm doing for the hall; or you can tell me how the garden's doing?"

[We could keep going or fade to black on this, I think it did its thing. 8)]

[closed-ish] all you can do's try to know who your friends are

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