[OPEN] Heaven bend to take my hand

[bookish_lioness]

WHO: Hermione Granger and YOU
WHAT: Hermione's seen some shit and is trying to get over it.
WHEN: Mid-Kingsway through the end of the month.
WHERE: In and around Skyhold.
NOTES: Takes place after this plot, so some threads will likely have mentions of child death and/or signs of depression. Please let me know if you'd like me to avoid any triggery topics.

Library

Though the curly-haired rifter has become a staple in the library over the past six months, Hermione has been relatively scarce there lately. She has no real heart for research anymore, not after the things she'd uncovered in those journals in that cave in Fromage, and there's so much more to Thedas than what can be found in books. She'd learned that the hard way, and now instead of reading and taking notes, she finds her thoughts wandering as they rarely do. For once, she can use a distraction from her failed attempts at studying.


Stables

Avoiding people isn't always as easy as she'd like it to be. But if she can preoccupy herself with animals, Hermione can withstand a bit of small talk. There's usually a kitten or two playing around the stables, and if not, at least helping to feed some of the horses will make her feel productive as well as distracted. And if that doesn't work, there's a certain dracolisk that she'd been slowly learning to get friendly with, assuming it won't sense her dour mood and become agitated.


Battlements

The battlements are actually quite pretty. She'd never really come up here before - if she wasn't in the library then that usually means she wanted to be social, and so the courtyards were where she'd spent more of her time - but now that she's looking for a change of scenery... well, there are worse places to get some quiet with a beautiful view. She's not always alone, since there are always people passing back and forth, but most people don't seem all that keen on hassling the young woman perched in between two turrets, staring out into the mountains. Indeed, unless someone happens to recognize her or just manages to catch her as she wipes at a stray tear, most probably wouldn't even know she's there.


Healing Tents

Returning from Emprise had been difficult, for more reasons than one. Beyond the obvious, Hermione still had a few physical injuries that she'd intended to ask the healers in her group to help with on their way back, but had clearly never gotten around to it due to the extenuating circumstances. Of course, she can't indefinitely deal with waking up with a sharp pain in her back and some of the bruises had begun to look particularly gruesome, so there's nothing wrong with making the occasional visit to the healing tents. If she takes care of one thing at a time and sees a different healer each time, it minimizes the chance of any awkward questions being asked, which is all the better; she's not ready to talk about that dreadful day and is in no rush to change that.


Wildcard!

She probably won't be quite so cheery until later on in the month, but Hermione still needs to eat, drink, bathe, and presumably sleep. She may be a little awkward around those that had gone to Emprise du Lion with her, but she isn't about to actively ignore anyone or send them off. Her nerves might be a bit frayed, but there's still such a thing as etiquette, after all.

Comments

[bookish_lioness]

Since returning from the mission, Hermione hasn't been able to think about anything else. And now that she's face to face with someone who'd gone on the mission with her, she finds herself scrambling to think of literally anything. Otherwise, she might end up withdrawing from Ciri altogether, or even trying to withdraw from the rest of the Inquisition, and she's logical enough to know that she wouldn't survive a day in Thedas without the Inquisition by her side.

Having animals eat out of her hand is inherently sweet, but horses can be frightfully messy about it. So she can't entirely help making a face as the horse does just that, which distracts her for a few moments before she tries for something resembling a normal conversation.

"They tend to be more honest than most people," Hermione murmurs, absently patting the creature's mane. "Human or otherwise. I wonder if dishonesty and subterfuge are the prices we pay for sentience."

[ichaer]

There is a low little chuckle from Ciri as she watches the animal eat from Hermione's hand. Likely there is a lot that could be said now about a lot of things but she has never had the great pleasure in digging into sore subjects even though dancing around it was just as annoying.

It was rather having a thorn in her hand that she could not pull out.

"There are lots honest more than most people which makes life rather like the Game on some ridiculous level and with less stinky cheeses. I could say even darkspawn are honest in their actions than most people I have met in life." It's said with a bitter laugh. "But I suppose I rather have dishonesty and subterfuge than anyone being held under some sort of influence be it by taint, red lyrium or otherwise."

[bookish_lioness]

"I know that much," comes the cold reply before she can really help it. Ciri had been among those that had made it perfectly clear that being held under some sort of influence, be it red lyrium or a demon, is a cardinal sin, punishable only by death. And while Hermione understands, on some level, why, and why the actions of those actually willing to act had been necessary, it's still a bitter pill to swallow.

After a while, she manages to swallow back some of the bile that has threatened to rise in her throat, focusing all of her attention on the horse eating its snack. "One of the bravest men I ever knew had been a spy. He had to be dishonest and sneaky right up to the very end, and though he played his part beautifully, he still died a terrible death. I'll always respect honesty over a web of lies, but when it's done for the right reasons...."

[ichaer]

"No, you don't. You think you do because it makes you feel better for not having the answers. Better to just think that I take some weird pleasure in killing for sport." She says, voice laced with raw nerve. Ciri sighs in the end and leans forward, resting her arms atop one of the stable doors. "Humans are, for the most part, easy to read but it is not the same with an abomination or red lyrium or even the taint. You don't know where they end or it begins."

Nevertheless, she quietly listens before carefully plucking at a loose piece of thread. "And whose right reasons shall we judge them by? What is right for some is not always the right way for others. There will always be someone or something that does not agree with your actions even if you believe with all of your heart that what you did was the right thing to do."

[bookish_lioness]

Hermione bristles visibly at Ciri's counter, frowning deeply and just managing to keep from giving the woman a scathing glare. "If I thought you were the sort who killed for pleasure, I'd have seen to it that one of us was no longer with the Inquisition, one way or another." They'd killed that child, that much is obvious; but it hadn't been murder. Hermione knows that, even if she'd rather not believe that it had been the only possible action.

Which is why she looks up at Ciri at those remarks, frown gone but face still a bit blank. She's too tired to feel all this emotion, and she now knows why one of her friends had claimed that no one should be allowed to feel so much. "The right thing to do is whatever will amount in the fewest innocent casualties. Ideally that would mean none, but this isn't an ideal world. Please don't insult my intelligence and think that I'm some naive child who doesn't understand that."

[ichaer]

"Come now. We Wardens are not with the Inquisition to begin with and it would ultimately fall to them what would happen to that sort of person." It is said idly with a wave of her hand, reaching out to rub her hand along the nose of a nearby horse and shrugging. "And considering they passed an easy judgement on someone that blew up a Chantry full of bitty old ladies then things are not looking good."

Despite the easy nature she presented around Anders that did not mean she agreed with his actions. Honestly, Ciri hates him for it because of the innocents that had been lost in the aftermath. The mages that did not want to leave their Circles, the Tranquil and those that had been caught between the ones mad with power like the Templars they fought.

"And ideally it would not have be abominations oozing red lyrium? Maker, preserve me. This is not about you nor do I care enough to bloody insult you over this. If you have an issue then speak it instead of playing in circles like some Orlesian noble."

[bookish_lioness]

Despite her currently being unsure of how to deal with her conflicting emotions concerning Anders, Hermione has to keep herself from immediately jumping to his defense. "If you're less than pleased with the Inquisition and its decisions, I'm sure there's someone with whom you can discuss it. I'm not that person. And I'm certainly not Orlesian. I'm just a rifter."

And she apparently gets no say, especially since most people think she's a demon anyway and are probably waiting for her to slip up just once so they can do to her what had been done to that poor boy in the cavern.

"I only meant that I understand why you did what you did. It doesn't mean I like it, or that I'm any more likely to condone it in the future."

[ichaer]

There is a bout of silence on Ciri's part before she ducks her head, shoulders shaking and little pieces of laughter spilling out. "And do you rifters not have sarcasm in the world that you call home? I am starting to wonder besides as I have said: the Inquisition has nothing to do with this."

And the Wardens are hardly ever without her opinions on their many stupid decisions as of late.

"Do you though? Do you really understand why I drew my blade against that abomination despite having spoken with that child and had been happy to see him take that story book?"

[bookish_lioness]

Hermione rolls her eyes and huff softly before muttering, "I understand sarcasm. I just meant I had no wish to be connected to Orlesians even as a joke." Granted, she knows an Orlesian or two here that have behaved more than decently, but given what she's seen and heard of the overwhelming mass of Orlais, she'd likely consider a generalized comparison like that an insult.

She focuses on that small horse she'd been feeding now, wanting to look anywhere but at Ciri as she fights with her own emotions. She doesn't need to remember that pity she'd felt for that small boy, that glimmer of hope she'd seen in his eyes as he'd thought he'd been rescued, only for it to be ripped away so suddenly because the majority in the room no longer saw him as a child so much as an abomination. She does understand. She just doesn't like it, or what it means for someone like her.

"You did it for the same reason you'd draw your blade against me or any other rifter in that situation," she murmured quietly, trying not to sound accusatory. "A demon needed to be put down." And granted, many in the Inquisition already considered rifters to be demons in the first place.

[ichaer]

"I cannot blame you for that much." Ciri cannot help making a face. Despite being a Warden of Orlais officially there was little else tying her to the nation despite being trapped there for nearly a decade. "I'm rather fond of their tiny cakes though that is one of the few things they have managed to get right in the many ages since their founding."

She would have been happy to rescue someone from that disaster but like Weisshaupt, she walked away with blood on her hands. No matter how much she wishes it could be different there was nothing to stop the doubled effects that both red lyrium and possession had on someone that had likely had no idea they even were capable of honing magic.

It had been the same in Weisshaupt as talented mages lost themselves to rage and despair.

"Why only rifters, I wonder. I know some call you demons but I lived with them for some time at Weisshaupt. I cannot see the similarities and you rifters are far more pleasant company for the most part." She question, arms crossed but relaxed. "You fell out of a rift, which are known to spit out demons, but you do not come from the Fade. I know abominations, I know demons but you are neither."

[bookish_lioness]

The Wardens very rarely express any kind of personal sentiment towards the various nations of Thedas, or at least have found no reason to express such feelings to a rifter like Hermione. So hearing Ciri's comment makes Hermione cast a sideways glance in her direction, the barest sensation of mild amusement just hardly breaking through her gloom.

It's fleeting at best, though. Their conversation doesn't exactly lend itself to extended moments of levity.

Even so, it's no small shock when Ciri confesses to see no connection between rifters and demons. Blinking a few times, Hermione realizes that she's almost confused by her response, as though she'd been beginning to believe that foolish rumor herself. "You don't think we're all secretly plotting to destroy the Inquisition from the inside?" she asks, too surprised to worry about how incriminating or ridiculous that might sound.

[ichaer]

And know it is Ciri's turn to look shocked. "No more than I think the former Templars, anti-Circle mages, Dalish or even us Wardens are all secretly plotting to destroy the Inquisition from the inside. Which means I do not think that at all."

Just in case she was wondering which might be possible. Maker only knows.

"Is that so strange? I get the feeling most of you would rather be anywhere but Thedas but burning it to the ground does not seem like it will get you much in the way of that happening." She shifts on her feet, glancing off toward a rather adorable pony before looking at Hermione with a curious look. "If anything, I imagine you rifters would instead be worried about this happening back in your homes since a rift brought you here... what might they be throwing out? I think you are more interested in stopping it here."

[bookish_lioness]

For the first time in a while, Hermione is so relieved and pleased that she feels a genuine smile forming on her face. She'd been beginning to think that even those she counts among her friends had thought her to be some sort of demon or spirit, even if a benevolent one. But hearing that at least one person understands that rifters are only people makes her feel leagues better about herself and her situation.

... that is, until Ciri points out something that Hermione hadn't considered before.

"... are you saying that something might have come into my world as I'd left it?" she asks, the thought having clearly never crossed her mind before. It does make sense, though, especially if she thinks of it in the terms of physical science and the transference of energy, but even as she finds something new to worry about, she knows she can't be overly anxious about it. "If a demon replaced me in my bed in my dormitory, then I don't imagine it lasted long. There were several other witches there, and the noise would have drawn the attention of the Headmistress, who's a very powerful witch in her own right. And even if they were having trouble with it, no enemy has ever breached the school's defenses and lasted for long."

Of course, a demon suddenly appearing in the girls' dormitory in the middle of the night could have caused substantial damage before they finally realized what was happening, and some might have even considered Hermione long dead, in that case, but she prefers not to think about that.