faderift | [OPEN] Heaven bend to take my hand

Entry tags:

[OPEN] Heaven bend to take my hand

WHO: Hermione Granger and YOU
WHAT: Hermione's seen some shit and is trying to get over it.
WHEN: Mid-Kingsway through the end of the month.
WHERE: In and around Skyhold.
NOTES: Takes place after this plot, so some threads will likely have mentions of child death and/or signs of depression. Please let me know if you'd like me to avoid any triggery topics.

Library

Though the curly-haired rifter has become a staple in the library over the past six months, Hermione has been relatively scarce there lately. She has no real heart for research anymore, not after the things she'd uncovered in those journals in that cave in Fromage, and there's so much more to Thedas than what can be found in books. She'd learned that the hard way, and now instead of reading and taking notes, she finds her thoughts wandering as they rarely do. For once, she can use a distraction from her failed attempts at studying.

Stables

Avoiding people isn't always as easy as she'd like it to be. But if she can preoccupy herself with animals, Hermione can withstand a bit of small talk. There's usually a kitten or two playing around the stables, and if not, at least helping to feed some of the horses will make her feel productive as well as distracted. And if that doesn't work, there's a certain dracolisk that she'd been slowly learning to get friendly with, assuming it won't sense her dour mood and become agitated.

Battlements

The battlements are actually quite pretty. She'd never really come up here before - if she wasn't in the library then that usually means she wanted to be social, and so the courtyards were where she'd spent more of her time - but now that she's looking for a change of scenery... well, there are worse places to get some quiet with a beautiful view. She's not always alone, since there are always people passing back and forth, but most people don't seem all that keen on hassling the young woman perched in between two turrets, staring out into the mountains. Indeed, unless someone happens to recognize her or just manages to catch her as she wipes at a stray tear, most probably wouldn't even know she's there.

Healing Tents

Returning from Emprise had been difficult, for more reasons than one. Beyond the obvious, Hermione still had a few physical injuries that she'd intended to ask the healers in her group to help with on their way back, but had clearly never gotten around to it due to the extenuating circumstances. Of course, she can't indefinitely deal with waking up with a sharp pain in her back and some of the bruises had begun to look particularly gruesome, so there's nothing wrong with making the occasional visit to the healing tents. If she takes care of one thing at a time and sees a different healer each time, it minimizes the chance of any awkward questions being asked, which is all the better; she's not ready to talk about that dreadful day and is in no rush to change that.

Wildcard!

She probably won't be quite so cheery until later on in the month, but Hermione still needs to eat, drink, bathe, and presumably sleep. She may be a little awkward around those that had gone to Emprise du Lion with her, but she isn't about to actively ignore anyone or send them off. Her nerves might be a bit frayed, but there's still such a thing as etiquette, after all.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"I do not believe we are here to stay. I feel this is but a temporary moment in time before we move onward to what we were doing in our lives before we were pulled here."

He had no proof of that, of course. This was just a feeling deep down within his gut. This had never failed before so he was not about to ignore it now. Iskandar was a man just bound by his heart and instinct with no intention to change that about himself, of course.

But what he really saw here was a young woman who wanted to do good but seemed to worry she might not be able to because of the role she'd been assigned in this place. It was unfortunate because she was intelligent and youthful. Not only that but her heart was true and there was a strength to her which he admired a great deal. It was not often that one so young could be so wise and strong.

So he reached out to rest his hand on her shoulder, his grip warm and caring as he offered her a gentle smile.

"Just continue forward, my friend. Perhaps it is not this day that you will have clout but the future is a mystery to us all. Your experience cannot always be ignored and I look forward to the day when you are able to show us the great power you have which is just waiting to be unleashed. After all, a wonderful mind is one of the greatest tools a person could have."

While Hermione can be fairly passionate, she relies on her head over her heart. And her head tells her that no one in Thedas has been able to give her any thoroughly satisfying answers regarding the shards or their connection to the Fade or anything else. As such, there's absolutely no reason to assume that their return to their individual homes are guaranteed, much as she would love to believe that.

But it wouldn't do to tell Iskandar that. He's new here, and there's no sense in quashing his curiosity of the place with her pessimism. Besides, there are rifters who'd been here longer than her six months, and natives who'd been here longer still. Thedas might not be ideal, but it can certainly be worse.

Of course, it often gets worse, but that's not something she wants to think about, either.

She does find herself thinking about this strange, overly positive man, however, and how he can go on and on about someone he's only just met. "I agree on that last bit, but I think you might just give me too much credit," she replies. It's not so much humility that makes her say it as it is that she's simply been through enough to make her question her skills and usefulness, but that doesn't bear saying at the moment.

"Thedas is still new to me, and I'm discovering more things about it every day. Rather than clarify anything, it just makes it a little harder for me to cope. I'm not used to harshness of life here, and part of me hopes I never get acclimated to it."

He nodded to show his understanding of what she meant. It was so small a thing to read of hardships in books. To hear stories of them. It was another to experience them and to learn what it meant to endure them. Iskandar had seen many before and he knew what it was like to know them after having heard their tales. Taking in a deep breath, his look softened before he went to pick up one of the books that she'd been looking through, opening it to gaze at the contents though he read none of it.

"In our lives we all must face hardships of some kind. There are some we are better equipped to handle than others. I have seen my own fair share of them."

The large man smiled as he set the book down again. "I hope as well that you never become acclimated to it. If you do then I fear for what that will mean for your heart. One who is not acclimated to such things can recognize what you do in order to do what you can to help. Perhaps it wounds us but at least we might recognize something others might miss."

Hermione ducks her head, feeling an odd sense of shame. She'd lost a bit of hope somewhere along the way and while she'd realized it, hearing Iskandar speak with that straightforward faith and peculiar sense of good cheer makes it hit home in a way it hadn't before. She might not be able to fix all of Thedas' problems, but she also can't turn a blind eye to them. Or to what she can do about them.

"Now it's just a matter of whether or not anyone would listen to any revelations we might happen to make," she murmurs. "Easier said than done, I'm afraid. Not everyone has the most positive sentiments towards people like us."

"Mm." He considered his next words a moment or so before he turned to face her completely. There was a more serious look on his face as he spoke now, telling her the tale that he hoped might aid her.

"Not that long ago the boy I was with rode with me to an underground chamber. We hoped to confront the enemy there for magic had been used there not long ago. Powerful magic. As we moved further in it grew darker and I realized quickly what we had come across, what the wheels of my chariot ran over and the hooves of my bulls crushed. The boy was naive, not so used to the cruelties of the world to see it yet."

Iskandar sighed but didn't stop there. "I told him not to look but he lit a light and all around us was a sea of blood and parts of bodies. Torn apart and left on the floor like garbage if they did not fit the filthy sculptures the rest were created from. Masterpieces of darkness for an insane mind. But what made the matter worse was that these bodies were of children. Dozens of them or perhaps moving toward a hundred. It was brutal and cruel and the boy was distressed as anyone should be."

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes a moment. "Even thinking of it now I am filled with the anger I felt then. Raw and hot. To do such things to those so innocent..." There was a pause before he spoke again. "There were a few other Spirits like myself who joined together against this madness. Through the darkness hope marched forth and I watched enemies become allies against a common enemy. Together we fought with all of our strength to pin a great beast brought on by the monster who aided in the deaths of those children and a girl raised her sword high to obliterate the beast and thus that madness was put to an end."

He'd spoken a great deal there but he only smiled afterward. "I have seen the worst of people and the best of them. After seeing the best I know that the worst will not win. Nor will it here so long as we have the will to march forward through the shadows. But if our faith wavers?" He rested a large hand on her shoulder as his smile turned into a grin. "Then you have companions to walk with you and remind you that you are not alone."

It was one thing to hear about someone having mutilated bodies, and another thing entirely to hear it implied that the mutilation had been in the name of some macabre art form or whimsy. But to hear that these bodies had been those of children?

Hermione couldn't breathe for a few moments, suffocated by pure disgust. What she'd seen the Inquisition do had been a matter of necessity, or at least it could be argued as such. But what Iskandar was describing-... there were no words in any language she knew of that could describe the injustice of it all.

Remembering about someone in Thedas who'd only recently fought off a corrupted spirit of Justice, she scrambled to get back onto something resembling neutral ground, not wanting to make herself susceptible to any emotion so strong that it would attract anything from across the Fade. It was hard to focus on what was being said after that, but the weight of Iskandar's hand on her shoulder was at least a little grounding, even if she found it hard to believe in his optimism. How can she believe in it, when the companions she'd been with had been the ones who'd done something so terrible?

"Life isn't always as simple as seeing the best and the worst of people," she murmured after a moment. "Sometimes, a single person can embody both of those extremes." She thought again of Anders, of the fact that she liked and respected him despite the fact that he was an admitted terrorist. What kind of world can Thedas be if she counted him among her closest friends here?

"But... I'd like to say you're right. It's just very hard to see that sort of thing when you're in the thick of it. I'm sorry your friend had to see that. And you, too. I-... I've seen too many people die needlessly, and far too many of them had been children. It doesn't get easier."

He gave her a smile so warm that really it was like something a father would give his child. At times like this he wondered if this was what life would have been like with his son if he'd lived to see Alexander's birth. Had lived to watch him grow. Though he didn't regret any decision he'd made in life, it didn't stop the sting that could touch his heart at times like this.

"The boy is stronger than he will ever know. He will grow into a fine man if he continues on as he is. For he has the same pain to such things as you do. It is the day that you find that such things do not hurt you that you are truly no longer one with a soul. Though it might seem terrible to say this, Hermione Granger, never let yourself get used to it and never let it get easier."

Iskandar gave her shoulder the gentlest of squeezes. Though he was huge he clearly knew how to keep that in check so he wouldn't harm those so much smaller than himself. "Until then I am willing to listen if you need an ear. We have just met but that will not stop me from extending the hand of friendship toward you."

He was, essentially, wishing her continued pain and distress in the face of calamity. Somehow, it didn't sound as terrible as it might have had it came from anyone else. Iskandar seemed like the earnest sort, and she didn't get the impression that he'd meant it maliciously at all. It was more of the opposite, given everything.

"I appreciate that," she told him softly, not quite smiling though her expression was a little softer than it was a while ago. "But it's... complicated, possibly to the point where it might not make sense to anyone not in my position, so I'll spare you the details for now."

She paused for a moment before adding, "But I'll accept your friendship, if you're really willing to offer it. Not many here are that quick with that sort of thing. I can't righttfully blame them, really, but... it's nice to spend time with someone who knows that those of us who came from the rifts mean no harm."

There was a nod that said he understood. If she wanted to tell him then she would but he was not going to make her do so. Such a thing had to come from her and not be forced. Iskandar would not break the delicate friendship they'd formed thus far by pushing her. Besides, it seemed something he'd said had helped her and that was a start. It didn't have to be much yet but even if he offered her some small measure of comfort then he was happy.

"I will always be completely honest about things. So my offer of friendship is very genuine." Lowering his hand now, he laughed gently. Laughter and smiles were just always the first things that seemed to come from him. Perhaps that was the main reason so many found him so inviting.

"While there are those that might wish harm, I feel as if grouping us with a minority is not going to aid us in this war. Particularly when we clearly have a common enemy we should be turning toward instead."

While Hermione had met her fair share of people from various backgrounds and of varying dispositions, it was clear that she had never met anyone quite like Iskandar. His earnestness was almost bewildering, and if she were still in the thick of the Second Wizarding War, she'd wonder if there was some sort of ulterior motive behind it. As it was, Thedas was technically in the middle of more than one war, but despite their conversation, she doubted that a rifter would have any reason to play the double agent card.

"I agree," she remarked softly. "While Corypheus poses a very dangerous, immediate threat, I feel as though I never hear about him. Which I suppose is to be expected, since it's not as though I'm a person of any rank. But I do constantly hear about the trouble between the mages and the templars, and about how mages should be free, or how they should be controlled, or about how rifters are somehow demonic in nature simply because we fall out of the same rifts that demons do. Thedas seems to have a nasty habit of focusing on hearsay and personal disagreements rather than concentrate on the larger picture."

Shrugging just slightly, Hermione shook her head and concluded, "But individuals can't exactly control the feelings of the masses, so all we can do is live as peacefully as we can among the locals and hope they realize that we mostly just want to help. Maybe someday most of them will come to see as much for themselves."

Edited (wrong tense whoops!) 2016-10-19 11:40 (UTC)

"I think I disagree. By being the individuals to show them a new way of thinking we can slowly influences the masses. It is like that of a ripple. A single drop of water will send the ripples through the water, spreading far and wide. However, another single drop of water will send out its own. When both meet there is an interruption that stirs a change in the water."

He held open his hands as if he were inviting all the world to join him in this train of thought. Of course it was really just the two of them in this conversation and he hadn't raised his voice to avoid disturbing others but it was still there. That charm that just seemed to exude from his very aura.

Iskandar lowered his hands then.

"We likely cannot control their feelings but we have the power still to cause great change. I'm not surprised to hear that the people here focus on the little things. Oftentimes when there is something large and frightening it's comforting to narrow the mind to something smaller. So that is how we will begin too. With starting small."

Hermione would like to tell him that he wasn't entirely right, that she'd seen for herself how some people will ignore her completely because she happened to be a single person from her own world, never mind a world where magic and the mundane co-exist relatively peacefully. But the more she thought about it, the more she realized that at the very least, she was putting that idea into people's heads, and an idea was the start of any major sort of action.

Besides, she came from a world where a baby ended one major war, only to grow up to do the same less than seventeen years later. If that wasn't indicative of the power of the individual, she didn't know what was.

"I suppose that makes sense," she reluctantly admitted. Granted, that still made her feel as though she wasn't doing nearly enough, especially lately, when she was hiding away with her emotions rather than at least interacting with others. "But considering that all the problems that directly involve me are also much larger than me, I wouldn't even know where to begin."

"Usually with the small. A large meal can be consumed but you do so by having one bite at a time, yes? These grand problems are the same." He waved his hand to the many texts surrounding them currently. "The same way you learned to conquer these enormous volumes. You began by learning the letters. Then the words. Now you can read these freely to gather information."

He jabbed a fist at his own chest. It gave an audible thud but he just grinned at her.

"And you know the easiest way to consume a large meal? By sharing with friends!" His face softened and just settled for smiling at her. "You are not alone here. There are plenty to be there with you in the beginning until the end is accomplished. Myself included."

Hermione understood logically that large problems could only be solved bit by bit, but that didn't necessarily make it much easier to figure out a starting point. Something might sound brilliant in theory, but not work out so well in practice; if it doesn't have an appropriate amount of practicality, Hermione tended to see no value in it.

But then, there was no value in hiding in the library and feeling sorry for herself, refusing to help the Inquisition until she could consider herself an expert in all things Thedosian. She would still avoid missions, and maybe even certain people for a time, but at least she was beginning to accept that there would be a time when she would be able to move on. There had to be.

So she allowed herself to offer something that felt akin to a genuine smile as she looked up at Iskandar, replying, "I appreciate that. Really, I do. I'm still not sure where to start, never mind how to finish, but... it really does help, doesn't it, knowing you're not alone?"

"Of course. That is why I adore all my friends and companions! People who will share these memories, who will help to carry my burdens, who will dance with me in times of joy. These people, you included, are my greatest treasure."

He couldn't show off this quite as easily as he could before. To have hundreds of people marching along a desert in his Noble Phantasm. However, it didn't matter to him. What he had now was only an illusion but he felt that when the time game it would still reveal to the enemy what his power was in a way. Especially if he could use it to save one of his treasured companions in battle.

"To be with others is far better than being alone in my opinion."

Her expression was mostly accepting as he exuded his love and admiration for his friends, though her eyebrows arched in surprise when he included her among them. Not that she didn't like him and his harmless enthusiasm (even if she could see it growing a bit wearying if she weren't in the right mindset for it), but they've only spoken for a matter of minutes. Most of the rest of Thedas - native or rifter, really - wasn't really so quick to induct someone into their social circle.

But she didn't say as much, instead focusing on his last comment, looking down for a moment. "It's hard not to feel alone here sometimes," she remarked, trying not to frown again. "Even when you're not purposely isolating yourself, I mean. You'd think that wouldn't be a problem, considering how little privacy there is throughout Skyhold, but.... I suppose that's just what happens when you think very differently from the rest of the world around you."

"Hm. I hadn't ever really thought of it that way. And I've been seeing things differently my entire life." Iskandar had practically been born viewing the world in a different light. It had set himself apart yet it had also made people want to follow him. To be near him and friends with him. For that reason he hadn't really noticed or just had decided to ignore any loneliness that might come from it. Then again, he had the role of a King to fill. A man who was meant to stand above all others so that way they could look up to him as a goal for them to achieve, someone to follow so they could share a dream together.

Perhaps he was rather idealistic at times but it had served him well in the past. He certainly wasn't going to bother to change that part of himself now. Or ever more than likely.

"Is that part of what troubles your heart right now?"

Hermione hesitated at his question, not quite knowing how to answer. It wasn't a wrong assumption to make, given that she was lonely, missing her friends from home more and more with every passing day. But she'd been able to bite back that loneliness in her effort to survive here in Thedas.

It was just getting harder to do that every day.

"In part, I suppose," she admitted, glancing down. "I also just-... I came back from a particularly harrowing mission with some of the Inquisition recently, and I saw some things - witnessed some choices - that made me realize that I'm hardly cut out to live in Thedas for an extended period of time. I can adapt to most things, but it's a matter of casting aside certain morals. Morals that I happen to be rather fond of, to tell the truth."

Trying to wave it off, Hermione shook her head and remarked, "But that's neither here nor there, really."

So that was it. He nodded a bit. Sometimes it could be very hard for some to set aside that which made them comfortable when they were faced with matters that brought discomfort. Iskandar was willing to do the difficult tasks but knew not everyone was prepared for it. Which could make things very difficult for those who felt these things grip their hearts so tightly.

A strong arm came to tug her chair closer to his own and then he hugged her with that one arm. Perhaps it was so little but sometimes just an embrace could make a world of difference for a person and he was willing to offer that now.

"It matters to you and so therefore it matters at all. I may not ever find out exactly what happened on this mission but I do know that much to be true and that is all that matters to me in the end. So I will offer you this embrace. Now and any other time you might require one. You only ever need to ask and one shall be yours."

Hermione made a small, startled sound when she felt her chair jerk before feeling that large arm practically envelop her. She liked hugs well enough - missed them terribly, really - but hugs from relative strangers were another matter altogether. Still, she didn't sense that it came from a shifty sort of place, and after a moment of hesitation she agreed to lean into it a bit, even if she was still a little too bemused to properly return the gesture, genuine though it might be.

"That's... very sweet," she told him, honestly appreciating it even if she was still a bit puzzled by his earnestness. "I'll try not to take advantage of such generosity. Especially since so few people here seem willing to offer similar."

Awkwardly patting his arm as she straightened up, she offered him a small smile, showing that she really was trying. "It's rare to find someone so willing to be friendly, even if most of us here have acknowledged that we're better off working together than we are against each other."

"You know, I seem to be getting that impression. People continue to be surprised by my attitude about things." He really couldn't understand why it should be so surprising though. Was it really that unusual to find things like this happening? If that was the case then he was going to have a lot of people in for a big surprise with how he was just always like this. Friendly, outgoing, ready to share that with everyone around him.

"Perhaps it is a good thing I was brought here after all then. I can remind people that there is still so much good out there no matter how dark things might become or currently are."

Why not? He was up for the challenge.

Hermione could only smile when Iskandar agreed that he'd noticed that people were continuously surprised by his demeanor. It was refreshing in its own way, certainly, but he had to see how it could be a bit jarring, especially for those native to Thedas who scarcely even offered an olive branch to one another, depending on whether the other person was a mage or Qunari or Orlesian.

Tilting her head a bit, she tried not to seem as though she were entertaining an idealistic fancy as she asked, "Are you sure you're up to the challenge? Things can get a bit bleak hereabouts. Quite quickly, too, I might add."

"They would not call me Great in the books about me if I were not up for the challenge, I should think." Oh he knew it wasn't going to be easy. The people here had faced many trials and that could be a heavy burden on people. However, he was determined to show them there was still hope in the world. Even if it just meant giving them a smile when he saw them. Sometimes, that was enough.

"If this is what I am here for at this time then that is what I strive to be the very best at. It might be a foolish thing to some but as long as one person can still see the light then that means we can still find it in the darkest of times."

Oh. He was still insisting that he was Alexander the Great. Despite bearing no resemblance to what she'd always pictured the historical figure looking like. But then, that had no bearing on anything, really, since accounts varied a bit and besides, Iskandar seemed congenial enough. More than enough, really.

"That's a... refreshing way of looking at it," she offered politely. She was still in her funk, nothing could snap her out of that quite so quickly, but Iskandar really was a nice reminder of what a fresh perspective can envision even for a world such as Thedas. "I hope you manage to maintain that optimism for a good long while, and that it will see you safely home, if we can ever figure out how to reverse the process that brought us all here to begin with."

There was a look that came across his face. It wasn't exactly sadness even if there was no real joy to it. Rather it was something like acceptance. Like he was going home to a fate that likely wasn't what one could describe as good. Which was probably the understatement of the year.

"I can promise you that it shall. I may not know how yet but it shall." To that last ride of his. To where Archer stood at the end and he would not make it past him.

It had been a very good ride.

[OPEN] Heaven bend to take my hand

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

cw: descriptions of brutal child deaths

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)