Open | If you forget, is it like it never happened?

[killedwithlove]

WHO: Cole and anyone who needs or wants him
WHAT: Cole's back. If he ever left. Who really knows?
WHEN: Now until end of February.
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: If you want a personal starter, drop me a PM or find me at jemisard

Those sensitive to such things might notice that Cole is back. He's hard to remember at the best of times, and after such a long period, Cole himself expects virtually no one to remember who he is or that he's allowed to be here.

But it doesn't stop him doing what he does. Moving about, helping those he can.

Comments

[not_the_question]

The Doctor's features fall at the mention of that last bit.

"Must be very lonely..."

[killedwithlove]

"It was. But now I can help people. They don't remember me, but I still help. That's what matters. And I can be seen sometimes. That's good, too."

[not_the_question]

"Well, I can see you. Though, probably because my brain is used to these other creatures..."

Which might give Cole some staying power within the Doctor's mind. Or not. The Doctor's mind is a very strange place.

[killedwithlove]

Cole shrugs.

"Sometimes people do. Usually when they need me. But some people see me anyway. Rhys did. Solas does."

[not_the_question]

"So it's an inconsistent power. Interesting."

[killedwithlove]

Cole blinks and shrugs again. "More... some people see through it."

[not_the_question]

"Ah. But not everyone. Must be confusing for you, if you never know if people will see you or not."

[killedwithlove]

"No."

It happens, or it doesn't.

"If they see me, they usually need me."

[not_the_question]

"What kinds of needs to people usually have if they do see you?"

Because the Doctor is very curious about how this works. It's different and new and he likes new and different.

[killedwithlove]

"They need kindness. They're hurting, and I can help them. I can make things a little bit easier for them. The smell of Mama's turnip stew for a dying man, a drink of water when I'm too sick to call for help, reminding you it wasn't your fault, sometimes bad things happen. I feel their suffering with them. I help."

Even at his worst, he wanted to help.

[not_the_question]

"Compassion, then. I was told it would kill me one day. But I wouldn't die of anything else."

So, not everyone from the Fade is bad then, okay. He might be good with that. He might have misjudged Cole because people are rather anti-Fade, at least that's what he's picked up on.

[killedwithlove]

"Yes. I'm Compassion. Or I was. Now I'm still Compassion, but also Cole."

He does frown a little. "I won't kill you. I don't kill people unless I have to, to stop them from hurting others. I killed people before, because I thought I was helping, but I know better now."

[not_the_question]

"Who is Cole?"

He can accept duality. But he likes to know who the other entity is, if he's going to go this route.

[killedwithlove]

"He was a boy. He had magic. They hurt him and locked him in a cell and he died slowly, alone. I came through to help him. Be with him. And I became him. Him without magic, like he wanted."

[not_the_question]

The Doctor frowns. "'They?' Who are they?"

Because the Doctor has a mind to find this 'they' and question them as well. Maybe even provide some... guidance on the treatment of children.

cw: sexual assault implications

[killedwithlove]

Cole shrugs. "I don't know their names. I know they were Templars." He rocks on his feet. "He was just a hedge mage. Who'll care if he's been roughed up a bit, he was a handful, Tranquil don't say no."

The last two sentences were said with different inflection, copying someone's voice.

[not_the_question]

The Doctor is taking mental notes. He didn't like how that sounded. Not at all. But rather than focusing on the bad memory. He focuses on the part he didn't understand.

"What's a hedge mage?"

[killedwithlove]

"I don't know. Rhys thought I was a hedge mage. Maybe... a mage who isn't in the Circle. An apostate."

But he's not sure.

[not_the_question]

Rhys. Templars. And something clearly bad and without permission had happened. Something the person was told to not say no to... The Doctor nodded quietly.

"Do you need help?" He's bad at this, he waves his hand awkwardly. "What I mean is you say that people usually see you because they need help. What if I see you because you do?"

That's just usually how it goes for the Doctor.

[killedwithlove]

"... that doesn't make sense."

Cole never needs help, except when he did, but he doesn't now. "What could I need help with?"

[not_the_question]

"If I knew the answer to that question, I wouldn't have to ask... You just... Well, it seems like anyone who helps others on a regular basis might discover a time that they need help themselves..."

He's really not good at this at all Except that he understands a bit. Even he needs help sometimes.

[killedwithlove]

"I did need help. And Rhys helped me. Made me realise what I was again. But now I can do what I am."

[not_the_question]

"Compassion. But 'suffering with' someone also means that you can let people suffer with you..."

Not that the Doctor is any good at it, but he does try. Sometimes. He's much better at helping than he is at being helped.

[killedwithlove]

"... but I'm not suffering."

Cole still looks confused.

[not_the_question]

"You sound certain of that. What about the story that you carry with you?"

The Doctor thought the story made Cole sad. Perhaps he had misunderstood.

"If you don't know how to join with someone else's suffering, then you don't know how to be 'compassion'."