Open | If you forget, is it like it never happened?

[killedwithlove]

WHO: Cole and anyone who needs or wants him
WHAT: Cole's back. If he ever left. Who really knows?
WHEN: Now until end of February.
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: If you want a personal starter, drop me a PM or find me at jemisard

Those sensitive to such things might notice that Cole is back. He's hard to remember at the best of times, and after such a long period, Cole himself expects virtually no one to remember who he is or that he's allowed to be here.

But it doesn't stop him doing what he does. Moving about, helping those he can.

Comments

[killedwithlove]

"Yes. It was how I could help. Maybe the fact he was dying helped. He was alone and scared and suffering and he wanted someone there, he hadn't seen anyone in so many days, weeks, forever. He wished he could have a life without being cursed by magic."

And he had become Cole. Not this Cole. But a Cole.

[blightedson]

"Cursed by magic..." Felix repeated and the implications of that phrase weighed on him oddly. Back home, he had been the strange one for not being strong enough in magic, and here, down South, children were abandoned because they showed any sign of it. He was getting used to the idea, but it still seemed odd and depressing. Then, after a moment, he found himself leaning a bit closer to Cole. He didn't touch him, because he wasn't sure that was allowed, but he did seem to want to offer some proximity of comfort.

"It's good he wasn't alone, then, in those last moments." He had been very close to his own last moments before he died, but he had had time getting used to the idea. Any fear he had felt about death had faded a long time ago, but he wasn't a scared young boy who was suffering alone. "Anything that comes to be because of a good action can't be all that bad."

[killedwithlove]

"Yes. His father hated him. Hated his magic. He hated himself. Nearly as much as the Templars did." Nearly, because he had still fought to live. Despite everything. He cants his head. "You can touch me if you want, but I'll know more about you if you do."

Not everyone likes Cole knowing things.

[blightedson]

Felix reaches out to touch Cole's arm lightly, careful to let the boy pull away if he wanted. He doesn't seem to mind his thoughts being responded to. If anything, it made communication more efficient.

"I'm sorry... I wish... I wish there was something that we could do for him." He means that sincerely, and for a moment he feels an odd sense of grief for someone he'll never meet. "I suppose, we can try to make the world one that wouldn't lead to the same thing happening over again?"

[killedwithlove]

He can hear the song, louder in Felix than most of the Wardens, softer than in the dark caves where they hide and wait. And he can feel and hear the churn of Felix's emotions.

Cole's whole self seems to gain a bit more colour, a bit more real and his expression lightens. "Thank you." His voice is soft. "For... caring. For him. Me. Us. Yes, I'd like that."

[blightedson]

"It seems to be the least that I could do," he says, his voice soft. "You don't seem used to people caring for you, though. Is that new as well?"

[killedwithlove]

"... most people don't notice me. Rhys cared. Even when I hurt him, he cared. A few people have cared, I think, but they got to know me, spent time, said I'm someone they like."

He looks at his fingers, plucking at loose threads. "Most people are scared of me."

[blightedson]

He frowns a bit. "From what I've learned, they don't trust spirits in the South." Then, after a moment. "What about other Spirits? Do you form attachments to each other?"

[killedwithlove]

Cole frowns slightly, just looking confused.

"I don't understand."

[blightedson]

Felix thinks that over, how to better word it. He's really worried that this comes off as rude. It's not that he's assuming spirits don't have feelings, but just that they might be entirely different than the emotions and attachments that humans have. "Can two spirits like each other? Could you be friends with another spirit? Does friendship even exist in the Fade in a way that a human would understand?"

[killedwithlove]

"No."

Cole pauses and then realises it probably needs more explanation. "Spirits aren't complicated like that. They... are. Old spirits, complex spirits, they can, have more than just a simple self. But spirits don't really care about spirits. Spirits just are. They might act out a tragic romance, but after, they don't feel anything about it. They can't. Rage rages. Compassion cares. Sloth wants to laze."

Spirits can bond with humans. But with each other...

"I cared about Justice. But we weren't friends. I cared because Justice was suffering and so was Anders."

[blightedson]

Felix can't help but feel a bit sad at that, but that's mostly because he's a human and has a human perspective. He tries to keep that in mind. "How do you feel about what happened to Justice?"

[killedwithlove]

"I'm glad Anders is happier. And I'm glad Justice isn't suffering anymore. It's better, for everyone, Justice being back in the Fade. Being in Anders was doing bad things to both of them, making them suffer, making other people hurt."

It's more complicated than just glad, but that's the over riding feeling.

[blightedson]

Felix nods at that, and finds himself agreeing on some level. "How do you experience the Fade? Is it... more like a physical place for you?"

[killedwithlove]

"I don't remember being a spirit in the Fade very well. Compassion doesn't need to remember." He has no proof that's why he didn't remember, but maybe it's just that he's too different to understand it anymore.

"I went into the Fade in Adamant. I didn't like it. It was all wrong. And I was wrong. We were both wrong."

[blightedson]

"So... then, probably not a physical place..." He frowns a bit. "I'm sorry you had to experience something that felt so wrong." Ellana had almost died in the Fade, and thinking about it made him feel a weird ache in his chest. "That place seemed like a terrible experience for everyone involved."

[killedwithlove]

"No. Yes. Maybe." He shrugs slightly. "I don't know. I'm sorry. Solas might know, but he's not here." And Cole can't really help more than that.

"Nightmare isn't kind. What it controls is no more kind than it is."