[open] it seems that all my bridges have been burned

[onlyhymns]

WHO: Cade and yoooou
WHAT: Cade's restricted to his quarters! Again!!
WHEN: early Solace
WHERE: the Templar quarters in the Gallows
NOTES: Visitors are likely restricted by at least a cursory guard, who would be there anyway because Templars.

It may have been a day, it may have been six. Regardless, Cade spends the majority of his time on his bed, facing the wall, his back to the room and curled in a fetal position. When he's not there, he's sitting at the small desk he and Simon share, staring hopelessly at a blank book, holding a pen and not using it. He doesn't seem to sleep much, and hasn't touched any of the food brought for him. Few would, on their own deathwatch.

Comments

[sulena]

She hums thoughtfully, once more fiddling with the stone in her hand and Saoirse quietly wishing she had come with more ideas than simple rambles.

"Did I?" She repeats with folded hands, blinking and looking... confused by the ashamed look.

[onlyhymns]

It takes Cade a moment to build up the courage to finish the sentence. But it's something he's wondered, for longer than just to day.
"Did you..." he starts again, his voice low, "...fear us?" He knows they were hated, that was obvious. But in the way he truly knows fear, Cade has a hard time accepting that someone could feel it towards him.

[sulena]

The question earns him the sight of her taking in a deep breath of air, holding it before exhaling slowly through her nose. The look she wears is not mad, or anything negative but simply... one that looks tired. As if this heavy weight rests on her shoulders.

"No, I never did fear the Templars as a whole. I feared the men and women who just happened to wear Templar armor and used it as an excuse to hurt us," she mutters. "But the Templars are an Order I hold very dearly. For me, they are a light shining in the darkness that brought me somewhere safe to learn and understand my magic."

For a moment, her gaze flickers and she looks to her hands. "That isn't to say some things could not be improved. You are defenders of the Chantry light, and of the Maker's children. We mages are the Maker's children too... I believe some of your brothers and sisters in arms forget this."

[onlyhymns]

Her gasp is enough to put Cade on edge again, and he looks at the floor, preparing for the worst. But when it doesn't come, he's silent and still, thinking for several moments before he nods.
"I believe so," he agrees, his brow knitting unhappily. "But... I'm glad it hasn't been all bad." Self-consciously, Cade begins to rub the back of his neck. "I think... if our positions were reversed, I'd... probably be afraid all the time." Which, you know, he already is. But at least not of Templars.

[sulena]

"Templars are the reason I am still alive today. If it had not been for their actions, I likely would have died in the chaos that consumed Kirkwall and nearly destroyed it."

They were hard, terrible times but she does not forget the kindness that had been shown to her nor how much had been done to help her make in through that massacre.

"I cannot live in fear anymore. If I let it take me, it would consume me and..." Saoirse slows, biting her lip. "I cannot allow myself to give into it."

[onlyhymns]

The chaos that consumed Kirkwall still plagues Cade every moment of his life, waking and sleeping. He watches Saoirse almost dully, nodding, wishing he could say the same. Perhaps he was one of the Templars who helped her; it doesn't matter now. He killed more than he helped, and they were all trying to kill him too. Fear kept him alive, and perhaps continues to.