Entry tags:
[closed] it's not the long walk home that will change this heart
WHO: Cade, Nari, a healer at the end (Sam?)
WHAT: a camping trip turned awkward family reunion
WHEN: sometime in Guardian w/e
WHERE: the easternmost edge of the Planasene forest
NOTES: warning for violence, discussion of self-harm and sexual abuse of a child
WHAT: a camping trip turned awkward family reunion
WHEN: sometime in Guardian w/e
WHERE: the easternmost edge of the Planasene forest
NOTES: warning for violence, discussion of self-harm and sexual abuse of a child
Between the flu, the fire, and Kit's passing, things have been rough lately. One of the few boons of Cade's excommunication from the Templars has been an abundance of freedom, with which, until recently, he had no idea what to do.
But sometimes one just needs to get out of the city. Not on a special mission or anything serious, just a little hunting trip, a pocket of time spent in the quiet isolation of nature. It's the one thing he missed from his time in the Hinterlands, and perhaps it's time to do it again.
Nari is invited, for her particular losses, and for her help throughout the flu. She looked out for him, and he's worried what she might do if left alone in the wake of her grief. Perhaps it's best if they both remove themselves for a while.
In separate tents, of course.
It's on the edge of the Planasene where they finally make a less temporary camp, setting up to stay for a few days by a small creek in a grove well-insulated from the still sharp winter winds. It's early morning, and the horses are lazing tethered to a tree, content to spend the day eating grass and rolling in whatever dust is nearby.
Cade is preparing for the day, sitting by the fire and sharpening his arrows, waiting for Nari to join him so they can cast out.

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Trying not to whimper with each breath, he keeps shifting position, unable to find a way to both stay aware of the situation and relieve some of the pain. Resting his weight on his right side aggravates the shoulder, and the left side, the leg; Sedi knows what she's doing.
For her part, she's still in the trees, slowly creeping into view with all the deadly confidence of a rare cat, her yellow-green eyes feral and distant, her face half-covered in ink the color of blood. She seems to take a predatory interest in her writhing prey, crouching in the brush behind Nymii and barely paying Nahariel any heed.
"Pretty white boots," she says, her voice deceptively thin and girlish, eyes roving over Cade like a pig hanging in a butcher's shop, "for Halesta's baby."
Without a single clue what's going on, the awkwardly crouched Cade looks wild-eyed at Nari. He's not known for keeping his head in situations like these.
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Nahariel, normally kind, quiet, gentle, is not what comes to mind when thinking of the Dalish. Now, however... "Back off," she spits with more cold and steel than Cade's ever heard from her as she moves like a predator herself to obscure Sedi's shot. "You're outside the border, he's Inquisition. Chantry. Fen'Harel shit on what you think, the People can't afford another March because Sedi wants a pair of boots. And they would, you know they would, you said it yourself." Whether or not that's what she actually thinks is irrelevant, as long as it wards them off.
All of this displeases Nymii, whose eyes flash glacially over a sneer.
“The People, you say? Because you obviously have our best interests in mind. Siuona would be so proud if she could see you now, spitting at your own family over some human.” The blonde bares her teeth in a parody of a grin and mimics Nari's low tone, "A Chantry human."
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"Shem'len get skinned," she replies flatly, with a hint of disgust, as if she can't believe Nari forgot that. After a pause, "...you wanna do it?"
Wordlessly, Cade looks up at Nari again. Wait, shit--
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Save for turning to kill him herself, which was no option at all. So she looked at the forest, thought of the plains, took a deep breath, and threw her life away.
"Nymii, please," she said, quieter now. "It doesn't have to be like—"
“Like what?” interrupted Nymii, her voice dripping black with scorn. “Dirthara ma, Nahariel, I didn't think you were so forgetful. Didn't think Dhavihal and three quarters of Dahlasanor died screaming so you could run off and play flat-ear." She draws a knife languidly, tests it on her finger, and glances at Sedi with the warmth reserved only for her partner, "You can have him, emma lath. I think I'll gut her here while she can still die Dalish--it's better that way." She shrugs and looks back at Nari. "We can tell the Halaani he killed her."
And that was that. Try for Nymii, and leave yourself open to Sedi's arrows. Try to close with Sedi and find yourself hamstrung from behind. She'd seen it too many times.
Cade was downed, an easy target. She was far from her peak, with an unstrung bow and a hunting knife.
They were going to die.
"I'm sorry," she says to the man behind her, her voice oddly quiet and even. She pulls the blade anyway and shifts to the balls of her feet as Nymii's foot digs dirt, launching the hunter towards them.
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A birdlike whistle, and just like that, both of the blonde Dalish have arrows pointed at them from all sides. Ilriane, the source of the sound, drops down from a branch as Isen begins to pick himself up from tackling Nymii.
"Nahariel," says the eldest Halaan, in her measured way, "what is this?"
Huddled over a pool of his own blood, Cade struggles to stay awake and breathe evenly.
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"Mythal enaste..." she whispers, looking helplessly around at each of them. Then as quick as the relief had flooded her, shame followed as her eldest sister asks what had happened. "I... It..." She was so stupid. How could she have been so fucking stupid. Staying in Kirkwall after Sina's death, carving Andraste, listening to the Chant? Nymii was right. She'd gone flat-ear, and for--
Nari's eyes snap wide, and she whirls around, the abandoned knife pulled from the earth as she whips off her scarf and slashes it, bites the short edge and rips the now long cloth down the middle into two pieces, one of which she quickly sets to tying around Cade's thigh above the arrow with vicious tightness.
"Ilriane, ir abelas, I'll come back right away. I will. I'll explain--" her voice breaks on the plea, so different than earlier, unable to meet anyone's eyes, "--I'll explain everything, just... I need to get him back to camp. Now."
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"Bring him back to ours," comes a melodic voice from behind Nari, and Halesta steps forward, smiling sympathetically and visibly with child. When Isen turns to angrily object, she holds up her hand with a flash of a glare-- patience, little brother.
"...the hunting camp," she clarifies, "Nari wouldn't keep company with anyone who'd hurt us. Look at him, he can't even stand."
Ilriane looks at her, exasperated; Halesta has gone soft since taking up with the Ashara boy, and yet... what was it all for, will Siuona have died for nothing if they won't move forward?
She casts her gaze to Nahariel, awaiting confirmation.
Sedi stands back a ways, an arrow still nocked though her bow is at rest, a look of abject disgust on her hollow face.
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It had always been Halesta. Ilriane had been distant but caring in her own way, Lethanavir kind but every bit as much a caretaker as Ilriane. Isen she'd always been thick as thieves with (and hearing his brief wordless noise of objection hurts), Ghestlin energetic and always up for whatever mischief she and Isen were getting up to, but Halesta was the heart of the family.
To the hunting camp? Was it so close? Had things been so lean this winter?
Had she left her clan a hunter short to rebuild houses for the people who had let Sina's forest burn? It fills her throat to choking, but Cade is still bleeding, so she angrily dashes the tears from her eyes and continues to lay her crimes as bare as her face feels right now.
"...Please."
Nari closes her eyes again as she hears Nymii laughing hoarsely from the ground.
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"I don't think--" begins Lethanavir, and then several things happen at once. Isen jerks toward Nymii again at the sound of her laughter, his temper flashing; Sedi goes for him, her hunting knife glinting in the sunlight before, unexpectedly to all, it catches on Halesta's tunic as the middleborn Halaan lunges forward to shield her brother.
A female yip of pain, and then deathly silence. They stare at each other, Sedi and Halesta, one with a brilliant red scratch blooming across her now-exposed pregnant midsection, the other holding the blood-tipped knife and, to her credit, looking quite shocked.
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For once, Sedi looked at a loss. Nymii, taking advantage of Isen’s new sight lines, rolls silently to her feet and comes around behind her, running a soothing hand down the arm that holds the now bloodied knife and relieving her of it, the blade disappearing somewhere on Nymii’s person. The two had lost not just their advantage but their even footing now and she knew it.
“Enough,” says the blonde conciliatorily, her arms gently folding around her partner’s thin shoulders. “We go to the hunting camp. If the shem does something, let it fall on Nahariel, but that scratch needs tending. No more of our blood needs shedding.”
Despite Nymii’s placating tone, her eyes glint at Nari when she says ‘our blood’, making it clear that as far as she was concerned, Cade’s was still on the table. Nari stares back, her hand touching Halesta’s shoulder, before returning to lift Cade’s chin to see if his eyes focus. “Can you stand, if I help you?” she asks with quiet intensity.
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That's a line even she can't cross, and she won't have another chance.
The Halaani, stonefaced, all focus on the remaining blonde elf, awaiting her choice.
Cade is so deeply in shock that he's nearly unconscious, but is able to blearily raise his eyes to Nari's and shake his head. At least he's pretty sure he's shaking his head.
There's a decent chance Sedi tipped her arrows with something, but it's also entirely possible he's just fading that quickly.
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Nari is swearing under her breath, trying to figure out how she's going to manage to get someone half-again her size who can hardly stay conscious let alone walk anywhere. Every bump or jostle could settle the barbed shafts further into his flesh than they already were.
"How close is the camp," she asks finally, "We've one about two miles south-east, with horses. There are some supplies there. You can take the brown, the grey's skittish. If the hunting camp is closer than that... Ghestlin," he was fastest, "could you bring me what's there in the way of bandages. Salve. A potion if you have it; I'll replace it. Ilriane's right, we're not going anywhere, and Halesta needs it too."
Before the inevitable grumbling about running errands for humans, she turns back to look at them. "After Sina, I... didn't... take care of myself. Worse than that. I would have let myself freeze in the woods, he carried me out, it's owed," she says. Perhaps that would be enough. Then it's back again, kneeling this time, gritting her teeth at Cade's uneven breathing. She reaches to lift his chin again, staring into eyes gone glassy with shock and pulling from her memory.
"Hear now, Andraste, daughter of Brona, spear-maid of Alamarr, to valiant hearts sing--say it."
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Ilriane sighs through her nose and turns to the pair on the ground, scrutinizing them wearily. "Not far," she says without affect, "closer than yours. Leth, Ghestlin, carry him."
Isen is excluded on account of holding Halesta tightly, though he's staring at Nari like he can't quite believe what he's hearing, his expression nervous.
"..of... victory waiting," Cade breathes, and winces, giving a shudder. He wants to go to sleep.
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He wants to sleep? Too bad. Nari is insistent on the little attention he has, like a fly that refuses to leave no matter how it's swatted at. Unconscious would be fine if he wasn't in shock. That could kill, and after how absolutely and irredeemably fucked up everything had gotten, she wasn't having that. He stops talking, she prompts him. He struggles with it, it's back to the beginning. If he stops responding to that, she'll reach to tap him insistently with the palm of her hand, and if that brings nothing, she's got a full slap waiting in the wings.
So it will go until they reach the hunting camp.
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A short period of torn clothes, excruciating pain and screaming later, the human lies passed out and half-naked under a thick bearskin blanket, his injuries salved and healing as best they can without magic. Cade is good and done for the day, but he'll make it.
Halesta's scratch was shallow, so it's she and Isen who have taken up watch by the fire, boiling water and preparing to make food.
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"...Just say it."
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It's the question that makes the most sense, asked by Halesta with a sad, uncertain smile. Isen sits beside her, stoking the fire and looking pensive, sullen. It's been a terrible day on various levels, and it will likely only get worse.
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"An ex-Templar. We'd vaguely met years ago, not too long after Sina and I made it to Skyhold. When the Inquisition moved to Kirkwall, there was some... friction with the townsfolk. With the Chantry. Even more after Sina grew her forest in the crater." Nari's weary delivery changes to wondering briefly, still entirely in awe of the great work their First had done, even ill as she was.
She ...would have been magnificent. Was magnificent. Nari's heart aches in layers, but she hasn't finished.
"In an effort to help repair some of the damage, I decided to..." Fen'harel devour my soul and shit it into the void. "...carve a statue of Andraste in the woods, where the statue stood before the explosion." She gestures vaguely toward the unconscious Cade. "He was stationed in Kirkwall, is," a pained wince, as she listens to herself, "very devout, so was the person I thought to ask to help. It took a month, he read me the Chant--you know I do better work with stories--we became... friends. Or at least friendly. Then Sina died and I just lost it. Started sleeping outside. I haven't gone back to the quarters we shared I can't bear it. Got frostbite." She shivers slightly, remembering, the fire seeming farther away. "I went into Sina's forest that night to die, he brought me out. That's who he is."
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Ghestlin, nearby, pauses sharpening his arrowheads long enough to lift his head and listen. He was the closest to Sina's age, and likely would've bonded to her if another mage hadn't come along; he feels her loss acutely, as a misplaced future, something that could have been but never will be.
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Nari looks up at the scar the Breach left in the sky, its nearly omnipresent sickly green aura fading in and out. "They're taking out rifts. Fighting the demons that come out, and these horrors that a very powerful and very twisted man is sending to ravage just... everywhere. Nothing is safe. I know it sounds like I abandoned you but I'm there with them doing this because I love you. For you. For Halesta's baby, so it has a world to grow in." She reaches to pick at her scarf, but it's gone, so she just rests her hands on her knees, speaking more quietly. "For Sina, so that what happened to her never happens to anyone else ever again."
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"Do they need you so badly?" he asks, perhaps hurtfully, but there's hurt in his tone as well. Halesta sits with her hands folded between her knees, gazing into the flames, tears in her eyes. Ghestlin has gone back to his task, but continues to listen.
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It’s been a long, painful, confusing few months. Months without seeing a single other member of her family or her clan, with Pel the only other Dalish she spoke to, and that immediately before she left for Skyhold. Months full of sickness and exhaustion and grief, of sleeping back and forth on Fern’s floor, Korrin’s couch, curled in a blanket in the workshop, freezing herself on the docks, in the forest—the forest, the place she’d gone to breathe without constriction and remember Sina without being crushed, being chopped for wood like it meant nothing. Days and days of keeping what could have been a deathwatch for the man she found she’d somehow come to care for—confusing in its own right—those days only existing in her memory. The ashes of the forest, burnt to earth, Andraste’s presence, the deafening silence of the Creators. Sina, always Sina.
They’d come for quiet, a brief escape from this madness, and had been met with Sedi’s brutality, Nymii’s scorn, the continued slivering of their tiny Clan, blood—there had been so much blood—Cade’s agonized sound as they’d freed the arrows, the sudden discovery that he bore scars—such scars—from another agony altogether, and her helplessness, over and over her helplessness, to do anything about any of it.
It was too much, and she clung shaking to Isen, unable to say anything.
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But Nari is here, and she needs him, and he loves her, so he holds on as tightly to her as she does to him. Halesta wipes her eyes and looks up at the pair with a sad, weary smile. Perhaps, someday, they'll be what her brother wants. Perhaps not, because nothing can be predicted anymore.
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"You got stronger without me around pulling all the weight," says Nari, the jest watery and hoarse, partially muffled in his chest. She turns her face outward toward Halesta, and sits up most of the way, leaving her shoulder still tucked under Isen's arm. She scrubs at her eyes with the back of a hand, managing a smile.
"Tell me something good. About the baby. About the mysterious fellow who helped out with it," Nari says, her faltering smile widening cheekily for a moment. "About a rock you found that looked like Keeper Thalia. Anything. Anything good."
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"It happened so quickly, I wasn't even quite ready," Halesta continues with a laugh, "but he's a good man, I've been healthy, and I think having a babe to spoil will bring back some smiles." She rests her hand on her bump, regarding it fondly. "It seems life goes on whether or not we're prepared. I think our clan is overdue for some joy."
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