faderift | Say Hello To Goodbye

Entry tags:

Say Hello To Goodbye | Openish

WHO: Sorrel and anyone who wants to say hello, or indeed goodbye, to him
WHAT: Sorrel leaving Kirkwall, spending some time in the forest, then coming back to Kirkwall like a week or two later, in disgrace
WHEN: The first few weeks of Drakonis
WHERE: Kirkwall, Clans Ashara/Dahlasanor
NOTES: The craziest of crazies. Kirkwall, girls, dancing, naked, Mom!? Argument, exile, fleeing the scene, hiding in a dumpster, crashing on your couch for a week because technically I’m ho~omeless!

No, I am lost
My wounded heart
Resides back home in
Pieces strewn about
The graveyard of my lost love
For only...

The Road between Kirkwall and anyplace at all is hard and muddy by turns, this time of year, melted by sun and unexpected balmy wind, frozen again each night into ruts and fissures, as is the nature of roads in winters. The road too, is fraught with danger, the sides of the path lined with opportunities for those with less scruples than most-- and the forests, known to beasts and magic and the Dalish themselves, are not safer, for the unwary traveler. Times are lean, in this stretch of the year, and what generosity there is has stretched with the weeks until it's leaner still.

That's the road Sorrel has to walk, there and back again.

But on the other end, whether to Kirkwall or away from it, there burns a warm fire, a hearth with friendly faces, and family, of one sort or another.

[ Feel free to respond to the subthreads as appropriate ]

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"...Sorrel?"

It's pure happenstance, honestly, that he's come out this way. Coco wanted to scamper and out near the herb gardens and the remaining shrubbery seems the best way to go. Yet the nug moved away to the greenery, and right to a familiar looking figure, sitting in a dark corner.

He would know that hair anywhere, those eyes in a million. He also knows that heartbroken look and he's immediately loping over to his lover, as Coco nuzzles his little muzzle against Sorrel's chest, making comforting chittering noises.

It isn't often a nug actually climbs up into Sorrel's lap. Most nugs, wild nugs, know such a dare for the deathwish it is. And so, he knows precisely what's happening at the first pressure of those scrabbly little paws.

"Coco?" Oh it is Coco, no other nug comes with a sweet little bow. He looks up and catches Adasse's glance, halfway to standing in answer to his natural stab of terror, "Adasse."

Oh. Oh this is terrible. And he can't even escape, too weighed down and preoccupied by the snuffling, chittering concern of a friendly pet.

"I--" He stalls out, torn between wanting to simply throw himself into Adasse's arms, and wanting the earth to open up beneath him and draw him down into the dark where no one can possibly see him again, "...You're here. And. I'm here now. If you... I'm here."

If you want him, still, wide, anxious green eyes and all.

The look on Sorrel's face has Adasse going from a surprised walk to a run to the other elf. Sorrel doesn't have a choice in the matter - Adasse is holding onto him. Supporting up Coco so he can sit on Sorrel's shoulder and lick his ear, while Adasse wraps him up in his arms.

"You are here, but you look like the Fade spit you out. What happened?" He loosens his hug so his hands can move over Sorrel's face, Sorrel's body, checking for physical wounds. The emotional ones are obvious to see.

Sorrel is humiliated to find himself shaking, actually trembling in Adasse's arms, so complete is his surprise and gratitude at the sudden, shocking warmth of it. He hadn't yet explained anything, hadn't answered a question or given a justification, and all Adasse had seen of him was fear and the threadbare scout's clothing.

"I... I left," He blurts, because it's somehow impossible to lie when Adasse is holding his face as if he were something fragile and precious, "I left the clan. I left. I'm-- I left."

He's not sure if repeating it really imparts the gravity of such an act, but Sorrel surely doesn't know how else he could. The whole concept seems so monumental, so terrifying, that even though he has a perfect memory of how it happened, he cannot at all imagine how he had actually gone through with it.

"I left. I didn't want to, I want to-- I don't know what I was thinking I just-- I-" He isn't making sense, not even to himself, only edging dangerous inches closer to some kind of precipice, and a deep and unknowable fall, "I didn't know where else to go. I don't even know if I count as Dalish anymore, I--"

This last, much-overwrought piece of melodrama is perhaps one wild, panicked supposition too many; Sorrel's face crumples and he simply puts his head down on Adasse's shoulder with a quiet, terrible sound of grief.

Edited 2018-03-25 19:12 (UTC)

Adasse falls silent at all this, but his hand goes into Sorrel's hair. He stroked his fingers through the auburn curls, his expression grave as he listens to Sorrel try to work through the words of what happened to him.

"Listen, you don't stop being Dalish because you left your family. You're ... always going to be Dalish. You have your faith, your ways, your Gods and your magic." He cupped his fingers around Sorrel's face. "You are going to be all right, darling. I am with you, and I won't leave, all right? I love you. I love you forever."

Sorrel knows he's being over-dramatic, and yet the knowing isn't enough to make him calm. He's breathing against Adasse, too fast, too heavy, but the gentling of his voice, fingers carding through his hair wash over him, and slowly take their effect. He listens, and breathes, and the wild panic ebbs back again, in long waves, like the tide.

"I love you, 'Dasse," he whispers, then blinks when Coco leans forward to lick at a tear, "Oh, fine, I love you too, Coco."

Never let it be said he isn't fair. A soggy, drama-prone, panicky mess, for today... but never unfair.

"I'm so sorry. I keep thinking that I'll be able to sort of... swallow it all. I'm calm for a while, but then I--" His laugh is wet, and very slightly hysterical. Sorrel chokes it off quickly, and opts instead to take another long, shaking breath, tilting his face against Adasse's hands as if they're all that's holding him upright, "I spring a leak."

Edited 2018-03-26 03:32 (UTC)

Adasse grinned at Coco, puckering his lips at the nug and kissed his little nose from where he was balanced on Sorrel's shoulders.

"We both love you, very much." He kept sliding his fingers through Sorrel's hair, resting his lips against Sorrel's forehead. Just trying to hold him through this ocean of pain.

"You don't have to be calm right now, Sorrel. You just made a huge, HUGE life change. You're allowed to freak out." He kissed that forehead again, looking into those green eyes that grabbed him every time.

"Tell me what we can do for you, love. I can stand here forever holding you, if that's what it is."

"Forever?"

It sounds so tempting for the moment that the sensible, obvious objections to this idea arrive to his mind only after he's said it. And the word comes out without them, soft and fond and wistful. Would Sorrel like forever?

"I-- I think out legs would give out before then," He jokes, and finally, finally reaches up to touch Adasse's cheek in return, and to rub Coco behind his little pink ears, "I'm... oh fuck. Creators, I have to..."

He faltered, tripped up by his own dismay.

"I have to talk to Beleth, tonight, and she'll... I don't know. I don't know what's going to happen."

Before, he would have said that she would always be on his side, always be with him. But that was before; there's something about being totally unmoored and left alone outside your family that hangs a cloud of doubt over all previous certainty.

"Forever."

Even though he knows they can't actually stand here forever, he'd hold Sorrel as long as he can, just as long as it made Sorrel smile and not cry.

A joke is even better. "Bah, what do people need knees for anyways." He smiles at Sorrel as fingers touch his cheek. Fingers he never thought would touch his cheek again.

Deep breath, his dark eyes going back to serious. "Do you want me to come with you? Beyond that, you know you can stay with me, right? No matter what."

Sorrel does laugh, ridiculous as the line is. His face must be a sight-- it feels blotchy and hot from the crying, and he can't decide whether he wants to smile or crumple up again. Still, he manages to breathe and find some semblance of composure, enough to reach farther, and cup Adasse's cheek in his hand.

"Maybe just... at least to the door?" He doesn't want to attack Beleth, put her on the defensive, but just the same-- Sorrel is terrified of approaching it all alone. And Adasse did just promise to stay with him, "If. If something happens that... If something happens, then, I'll stay with you?"

He'll feel that soft smile against his fingertips, and there you go, Sorrel. Dark eyes taking you in, blotchy face and all, and still thinking that you're the most beautiful thing ever. Adasse nods his head once before he sets his broad shoulders.

"To the door, then. And ... I'll wait down the hall while you talk with Coco. Moral support, all that." He leaned in to kiss Sorrel's forehead again. "You stay with me whenever, sweetheart. I've got your back."

Sorrel smiles for that, and sniffs; he opens his mouth but can't seem to decide what he wants to say. He closes his mouth again, shaking his head, and gently pulls Coco down from his shoulder, to where he's more secure.

"Okay. Okay, I can do this," He says, speaking almost more to Coco than to Adasse-- or is he? When he looks up again, he's certainly not giving Adasse a nug kind of look, "Ah. You know, this probably hasn't been... your idea of a perfect reunion."

There is very little, it seems, he can't deftly ruin, these days.

"...But, you could give me a 'welcome back' kiss. If you want."

Coco chitters happily, curling up on Sorrel's closer-to-the-ground shoulder. As for Adasse, he's nodding his head in agreement. "You can absolutely do this."

Of course. That look. Makes his mind momentarily seize. How does Sorrel do that with his eyes? Adasse is positive it's some kind of Dalish Keeper magic.

"I had some different ideas ... " He drawled, and that drawl turned into a bright smile, as he leaned forward, "But hey, got it in one. They all start the same way."

He cupped Sorrel's cheek again, but this time his lips brushed against Sorrel's. Gentle, tasting lightly and slowly.

And Sorrel found himself transfixed, simply standing there like a romantic heroine, one hand supporting Coco, the other pressed flat against Adasse's chest, but never to push him away. His eyes fluttered shut and as chaste and simple as it was, the kiss was sweet, love like a painful twist in his heart.

Things progressed happily from there, gentle, like the slow, silent opening of a flower. He couldn't forget the clan, nor Beleth, nor all his grief, but just for those few minutes Sorrel didn't let fear sit on his tongue, bitter and frightening. He simply leaned and lost himself a little, in mindless, comforting touch.

"...Oh, I love you," He whispered, when there was room for words again, "And I missed you so much."

Well, at least he'll feel the sudden rise of Adasse's heart while their mouths moved together. It was absolutely something sappy and stupid but he honestly doesn't care at all. Soft, warm, wet press of Sorrel's lips and the brush of his eyelashes against Adasse's cheek.

He exhaled, inhaled deep, when their mouths finally parted. "...I missed you so much it hurt." He paused, then cleared his throat. "And, ah, if you do stay with me I'll have to move. Some stuff."

Crooked smile, "I love you so much I sort of went off the deep end, y'see."

"What did you do," He says, though it could have been a question in any other circumstance. Sorrel damn well knows what Adasse is likely to have done, and he can't decide if the thought is exasperating or endearing. The latter is winning out, "Dasse, did you get in trouble?"

Both hands cupping his face now, concern displaced from himself onto his lover, Sorrel trusts Coco's balance without concern.

"What am I gonna do with you? I can't leave you alone for a week before something happens."

"Oh well you know ... I may have liberated a few things here and there." He cleared his throat, giving his lover a bright smile, "And you only get in trouble if you get caught. I did not get caught, Sorrel."

Coco is fine. In fact, he might decide to balance on Sorrel's head before this is all done.

"Oh it was just a little larceny, love. Nothing to get in a tizzy about." A pause, "...maybe a lot of larceny."

"Oh, so a lot of nothing to worry about, then?" He's smiling again, that loose, lopsided grin of his that only seems to crop up when he's tired, or distracted, "Now all my worries are put to rest."

As if that could ever be true. But Sorrel sobers again, smile fading, and for a moment he wavers and it looks as if the enormity of the situation will ambush him again. He takes a deep, deep breath and, as if by pure stubbornness, he pushes back into the joke.

"Let's ah-- Let's go see Bel. And then I'll be the judge of whether or not you're in trouble."

"Absolutely nothing." He smiled softly, but he knows Sorrel is lying to himself to make it easier on himself. He whistles for Coco to jump up on his shoulder, so he can wrap his arm around Sorrel's while they walk together. Easy, and easily translatable to anyone who might be watching.

"I've got you, Sorrel. Let's go."

He hesitated at that, the old insecurity layered over the new. It was a public, blatant declaration of intent, that arm; a claim. This one, this elf, is taken. But he didn't pull away, despite his surprise. Quite the opposite, and after that first moment, Sorrel found himself holding tight, for support, and for comfort.

And as distractions went, it was pretty good: it got him as far as Beleth's door without collapsing. There, he hesitates again, but only a moment, then pushes through both his own trepidation, and the intimidating door. And inside is... Dark. There's no one in the office, or the ensuite, or the bed.

"It's empty," He tells Adasse, opening the door again. This is all becoming a bit much, "She's... not here. I-- Should I use the crystal?"

He doesn't want to. What a miserable welcome, that way; this should be done in person, isn't that right? Sorrel sighs, running a worried hand through his hair, mussing it terribly. It ought to be illegal to be this tired and overwrought all at once.

Edited 2018-03-30 15:13 (UTC)

Adasse wasn't looking to claim, or be claimed. That was never something he really felt he had the right to do. However, he did believe in unified fronts, so here they were. Walking together, Adasse giving support and Sorrel giving them both comfort. Coco, of course, was a pillar of nugness.

He stood at the door, letting Sorrel look inside. He frowned for a moment, before he snapped his fingers, "She might have gone to go get the new rifters.... and ... " He gave Sorrel a long look.

"How about you get some rest first? You've got to be exhausted, and this can wait until tomorrow."

Sorrel looked back at the dark room, then at Adasse, who was regarding him with a steady, evaluating stare. Oh. He pulled the door shut, fumbled the latch closed and then turned-- and put his arms directly around Adasse in a crushing hug. He needed it.

"That's a perfect idea," He mumbled, then let up when he realized that their mutual pillar of nugness had inadvertently become their squashed-pancake of nugness. Watch where you're hugging, Sorrel, "Let's go see how much trouble you're supposedly not in."

Adasse wrapped his arms around Sorrelean, hugging as tight as he could, so that they were basically clutching one another. He kissed the top of Sorrel's head, smiling against that red hair.

"Just enough for you to fuss, I think." Fingers wrapped around him, as they moved away from Beleth's office, and to the stairs, towards Adasse's room.

Linked hands, fingers interwoven, and Sorrel finds that as content as he is to be led, it's even nicer to simply walk alongside. It's not a terribly long walk, all things considered, but though he might have gone the breadth of Kirkwall and miles more tonight, each step up the Gallows feels heavier than the last. He's tired, tiring further, and grateful as anyone might be when they finally come to Adasse's door. It swings open under Sorrel's hand to reveal...

"Holy...Creators beyond the Veil. Adasse, what happened?"

Adasse leaned back from Sorrel, but not far enough that they weren't touching. He rubbed the back of his neck and cleared his throat as innocently as he could.

"...A ...crime ... spree?" He stated, before adding quickly, "No one in the Inquisition."

Say Hello To Goodbye | Openish

Re: And Back Again | Kirkwall Again/Returning

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