faderift | [semi-open] I will be your shining light

Entry tags:

[semi-open] I will be your shining light

WHO: Rey, Obi-Wan, open
WHAT: a reunion, and open
WHEN: after the rifters get to Kirkwall, and throughout Cloudreach.
WHERE: the docks, the Gallows
NOTES: will add if they become relevant

The Docks - Obi-Wan

Rey is tired after the trip to Orlais and looking forward to taking a bath and sleeping in her own bed for a change. But she can't help opening her senses as she disembarks, feeling out the Force, looking for Ben. What she doesn't expect is to sense someone else, someone she had grimly accepted she would never feel again.

She stops where she stands, Padawan looking at her quizzically as she freezes, trying to zero in on where he is. Obi-Wan.

When she determines the direction she takes off running down the docks, the Force guiding her. She catches sight of him and pushes herself faster, even as her vision blurs from tears welling in her eyes. She doesn't slow down until she crashes into him, throwing her arms around him with a sob. She's been so unsure of so much lately, but she can't help the profound relief washing over her as she feels the presence of her master once again.

Open - Training yard

She's back to one lightsaber, not that she minds. It's easier to control one than two, and she's more comfortable this way. The lightsaber that she had come to think of as hers in her hand, her first line of defense against demons and whatever else stands in her way.

For the moment she's running through her forms, things she learned under Obi-Wan, and a few she'd improvised, modified from Kylo Ren's fighting style. She holds the ignited saber in front of her, sweeping it in a slow arc, pacing her breathing, before speeding up, taking herself through motions she's practiced what feels like a thousand times, now.

Her chosen training spot is a little out of the way, but the low hum of the saber usually attracts some attention.

Open - Rey's Workshop

Often in the evenings, unless Rey is working on something or wanting private time, she'll leave the door to her room open so that Padawan can come and go, and so that others who might need her services can pop in. Or just so friends can pop in. The usual organized chaos of her room stands regardless of the day, and she is usually sitting at her desk, bent over something or another.

Her current project is another series of mini trebuchets that can be used in the obstacle course, and they sit around her desk in a varied state of disarray, some fully constructed, others waiting to be finished. She will look up when someone walks in, and if it's someone she doesn't recognize her tools will go down and she'll stand, asking who they are. If it's a friend they'll just get a smile and a wave as Rey finishes whatever she's in the middle of doing. She can talk and tinker, she's good at multitasking.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"I care about you, Ben." Rey sighs, finding that easy to admit. She'd allowed herself that much even when he'd fought her in the throne room on the Supremacy. It's easier now, that they've had this time outside of the expectations of their own galaxy.

When his hands rest on her arms she shifts her touch, her hands resting lightly against his chest. That only lasts a moment and when he asks his question she nods, her hands dropping to the satchel tied around her waist. She pulls the lightsaber out, holding it up.

"He gave it to me."

The muscles in his jaw work, as if he wants to say something but can't quite find the words. He looks from Rey to the lightsaber in her hands, her touch still lingering despite pulling away. He was so pleased to see it in her hands and not Obi Wan's. He moves to reach out and take it, eyes silently asking permission. While it was his weapon, he wanted her to trust him with it.

"You could have kept it from me if you wanted to. I would have never known." And yet she had come here, probably to return it to him, and trusted that he wouldn't fail her again. Over and over she kept putting her faith in him and he'd not yet been able to prove he had earned it.

If he's allowed to take the weapon from her hands, he sets it aside for the time being. He didn't need it at this moment. It wasn't an enemy he was facing right now, but his greatest ally. Rey, despite their differences, knew all too well that they understood one another's loneliness. Losing such a vital part of himself had been crushing.

In a tender display of emotion, he brings his hand to her cheek before moving in to lay his forehead against hers. They had yet to talk of what transpired before and he hopes she doesn't think it was a dream. It had felt like it but when he woke the next morning it had been to disappointment that she wasn't still beside him while he'd slept.

"I trust you with it," she replies simply, letting him take the saber from her without a fight. Maybe she shouldn't, given that he'd attacked Obi-Wan, but she doesn't expect that to happen again. If it does, Obi-Wan has his saber back, it would still be an uneven fight and would likely end in Ben losing a limb or two. So she sincerely hopes he doesn't decide to try to attack the Jedi again.

Her breath catches in her throat as he touches her cheek and rests his forehead against hers and she rolls her tongue against her bottom lip, her hands settling again on his chest. She's been thinking about that night, and other nights, often. She'd had to meditate to distract herself from thinking about it, focusing on other things helped, but eventually her mind came back to him.

"Should we talk about this?" she asks quietly, her eyes focused on his.

"I'd like to, if you want to talk about it." Whatever it was going on between them, he still couldn't figure it out. It was important to him, and yet it wasn't as if it was something easy to give a name to. He wanted her more than anything, and yet he knew he wasn't ready to let go of all the hate and anger he felt. He couldn't ever be good in the way that she was.

"I want to be someone worthy of that trust, but I don't know if I can be. I don't know if I'll ever be worthy of your feelings for me." His hands rest on her shoulders, wishing more than anything he could be what she wants him to be. He'd made too many mistakes and would make many more before he could ever be good enough. He hadn't been able to stop his parents fearing him, how could she be any different? She would come to fear him too, just as everyone in his life did.

Edited (stupid grammar) 2018-04-15 02:36 (UTC)

She bites her lip, eyes steady on his.

"I think I get to decide if you're worth my feelings." Her hands slide up to his face, her hands resting against his cheeks. She has learned of her own importance, both to those around her and herself. But Ben makes her feel unlike she's ever felt, and she's a little afraid of it, but she wants to see this through. She feels like he's meeting her more in the middle than before. They they can find a balance, together.

"I want to see where this could go. I think... We're better when we're together."

Edited 2018-04-15 02:38 (UTC)

He closed his eyes against the feeling of her hands on his skin. Her touch was warm and gentle. She left him reeling, not for the first time, over the fact that she genuinely cared about him. He kept telling himself that such sentiment had been what ended his grandfather's reign, that his own compassion for her hadn't been enough to make her stay. Yet he struggled against the loneliness all the same. He wanted this. He didn't want to be shut out again.

"I know we are. It's why I asked you to join me." Granted, it hadn't been love he'd been looking for. He'd felt her raw strength reflecting back against his and he'd known then that she would be his equal and that together they could shift an entire galaxy. He'd wanted her power and what that power could do. He hadn't wanted to rule over anything but with her he could do it. He could do anything.

It made no difference here. Here they were just two rifters, displaced from their home and trying to build new lives for themselves. She'd found her place here while he still struggled against where he felt his place was. He struggled against his own nature, the light and dark eternally at war with one another inside of him.

"Where do you want this to go?" He looks at her, the question hanging between them. He didn't know where this could go. He had no experience in a happy relationship. He had only ever been alone. That was enough to make him doubt that being with him could ever be a happy experience. Yet she was giving him the chance, showing how much she cared with words and actions.

Her brow furrows briefly as he brings up when he asked her to join him, not wanting to think about that. She knows she needs to, because that's still a part of their past. It was something that she'd maybe considered, in the moment. She's still not sure what made her reach for her lightsaber instead. It wasn't him. It had never been because of him.

Her thumbs brush along his cheekbones, calloused fingers mapping out the lines of his face. He's softer than she expects him to be, though when she'd first met him she'd thought that the mask might be concealing some horribly grotesque creature. Now that she's had the time to process, she's realized she finds him physically handsome, even with the scar she gave him. Maybe especially with it, that isn't something she cares to look deeper on.

"I don't know. I've never... I don't let myself get this close to people." She finally responds, her eyes darting from his for a moment. "I think that's part of why I want to see where it might lead us."

He hoped that it hadn't been easy for her to refuse him. It had hurt back then and it still hurt now, having her turn away from him. Yet she had chosen to trust him this time, giving him back his lightsaber. That trust wasn't something he took lightly. It made him hope that someday they might meet in the middle.

Her hands on his skin were gentle, calloused skin marking the years she'd lived as a scavenger. It felt freeing that the two of them had come far enough to be able to touch one another without hesitation. They knew one another's souls already. When she speaks of her reluctance to get close to others, he understands it. It had been the same for him after years of trying to be the son his parents had wanted, someone whose power wasn't feared.

"I'm honored that you'd break your habits for me." It was the same for him, really. He was breaking his own habits. It was terrifying and new but he had already taken steps down this path. It was too late to turn back, even if he wanted to. They were tied together.

His hands move down her arms and then drop to her waist with a careful hesitance. If she didn't want him touching her he wouldn't. It was different, compared to when they first met and he'd had no issue with prying into her mind without permission. He wanted her to want his touch, no matter how innocent or otherwise.

"Can I...?" Kiss her, he wants to say. He'd been thinking about it almost all day after that first kiss they'd shared. He leans in a bit, not quite closing the distance. He was so curious how different it would be to kiss her for real versus through the Force. While that had certainly felt real it wasn't a substitute for being here with her in person.

She smiles a little at his comment, though she doesn't know that it should be an honor. Daughter of junk traders, a child that had grown up lonely on Jakku, she sometimes wonders why people waste their time with her. It's flattering to hear, though, and his hands moving down her arms and settling on her waist draw her in. Pulling her bottom lip between her teeth for a moment she looks back at him as he half asks a question she knows the answer to before it's even out of his mouth.

Rather than answering him with words her hands on his face hold him in place so she can rise up on her toes a little, tilting her face to kiss him. The height difference was less obvious when they'd been laying down, but she doesn't care. He's already bent to rest his forehead against hers, so it's not so drastic as it might be if he weren't, but something about his size and the way she fit against him just seemed to make sense to her.

He catches her as she rises up on her toes, holding her against him as they moved into each other's space. Her lips against his were soft and the reality of it was a shock to his system. It was as if they were made perfectly to fit one another. He knew he was taller and more lanky, making any kiss awkward, but it didn't seem to matter.

He pulls her against him, lips firmly against hers. This was different compared to their first kiss. He didn't feel as nervous or afraid of it. He knew how he felt and that she was as into the moment as he was. By the time he comes up for air, his arms are wrapped around her, holding her to him.

"So... I think I know where I stand with all this." His lips curve upwards in a smile, hands rubbing circles against her back.

Her arms move to wrap around his neck as he pulls her against him, holding him close just as he held her. She feels like her heart may very well burst from the emotion pouring out of her in this moment, but she doesn't mind it. It's a feeling she's not familiar with, but she'd felt it several times since coming into contact with Ben. The first time they'd touched, when they kissed in her tent, and again now.

When he smiles that's another thing that stops her heart and she stares at him with no small wonder, a smile slowly spreading across her face.

"I've never seen you smile before." One hand comes loose from around his shoulders and she presses it to his cheek, before arching up to kiss him again, briefly this time. "You should do it more often."

"I've never had a reason to." When he had spent more time frowning or in various states of emotional distress for the last six years, it made it hard to find the energy or the reason to smile. Rey gave him a reason to. Having it pointed out to him made him somewhat self conscious and the smile unconsciously left his face again.

"Sorry... I never really gave you a reason to before, either." They had been at odds but now it seemed they were starting to find common ground together. He had the Force to thank for that.

Growing up, Rey had rarely smiled around others. When she had, it had been a feral thing, when she triumphed over another scavenger trying to take advantage of her, or over a task that Unkar Plutt had deemed too daunting for 'the little girl.' Since coming to Thedas she's learned to smile more around others, allow herself to relax and be more open with her emotions. Still, some days she is more reserved than others. Now though, his smile fading isn't enough to wipe away hers.

"I'll help you find more reasons to smile."

"That might not be as easy as you think." Yet here he is. Smiling, his arms around her like they belonged there. Not for the first time he marveled at this girl in front of him. What he saw in her gaze was hope. That they had come together despite the opposing sides they had stood on was a miracle in itself.

It wasn't an easy thing for him to ever feel hope, and yet she had given it to him. After everything he'd done and was still capable of doing, she filled him with hope.

"I didn't think it would be easy," she replies, raising her eyebrows at him. She knows him, at least well enough to know that smiles won't come easy. Still, she imagines that once smiles came easy to him, and maybe one day they would again. Now that he's free of Snoke, and the expectations of the First Order.

Biting her lip she slides her hands down to press against his chest, pushing away from him gently.

"I have a present for you. I... if you don't like it you don't need to wear it, but--" She reaches into her pouch again, producing a polished blue crystal that's wrapped on one end in silver wire that seems to vaguely evoke a lightsaber hilt and hung on a chain. On the crystal in aurebesh the word 'hope' is inscribed. "I got the pendant from a jeweler in Orlais, I did the writing myself. I have one that matches it." She reaches into the collar of her shirt, pulling out a pendant that's only similar in color and make, the cut of the rock a little different but no less evocative of a lightsaber. "I know it's not your color, but the jeweler made these because he saw me fighting, once. He didn't have anything in red."

For a moment he's at a loss for words, his fingers lifting up the small crystal up from her hands. He takes the chain, turning the crystal over in his fingers to examine it, thumb tracing the etched in text done carefully by her hand. It was a small thing, but it lifted his spirits farther than they'd been before she had come to see him. His gaze drops to her necklace and he reaches out to inspect that too, running his fingers over the smoothly carved pendant.

"I didn't- I didn't think to get anything for you when we went to Amaranthine to help close the rift." And now he could feel anxiety rise up in him, ever so slightly, that he had only caused trouble while there - for her and Obi-Wan and probably for others too. He'd been so caught up in his old fears and prejudices that he'd missed an opportunity to do something to show her he'd thought of her while she was away.

"Thank you." His brows knit together as he tries to think of how to convey his feelings to her. Instead he decides to just put on the necklace. She was right that it wasn't quite his color, but it still gave him something of her to hold onto.

She watches him carefully, drinking in his reaction to the present. She'd been worried he wouldn't like it, or it would seem like something ridiculous and over-the-top. But finding something for him had been a complicated matter, because she had so many memories of him tied up in their shared loneliness, she didn't want to draw on that. When she had run into the jeweler who had created the pendants it had seemed like something that could be safe. Simple, but she'd liked them.

Shaking her head when she feels the anxiety in him at the thought that he hadn't gotten her anything she reaches to touch his face again, her smile soft.

"You didn't need to get me anything. I just... I wanted to get you something, and I had the money. Do you like it?"

"I do. I haven't received a gift in a long time." All of his possessions before had been granted to him by his own hands and the privilege his rank within the First Order provided. His custom TIE fighter, what little possessions he'd somehow brought over through the rift... he'd gotten those things himself. He couldn't even remember the last gift someone had given him.

"I'll have to see Orlais with you sometime. What's it like?" He wanted to see more than just the places he was granted to go by the Inquisition. He wanted to see so many things with her. Whatever made her happy, really. He'd follow her to any number of places if it made her happy.

Before Thedas, the first gift Rey had ever received in her life had been from Han Solo, a blaster that she still cherishes, even if it no longer works. She's received occasional gifts since coming to Thedas from people she has become friends with, to the point that the practice of picking up gifts no longer seems strange to her. She hopes with time Ben will feel as welcome as she does, in this respect.

"It's... ostentatious," Rey responds after a moment of consideration to his question, her fingers reaching out to touch the pendant she'd given him where it now rests against his chest. "Parts of it are beautiful, but it's a country that's built itself up at the expense of others. Not all the people are bad, but I like it here, better."

It's on the tip of his tongue to argue that some places built up at the expense of other people could form solid and lasting governments and happy people in the end, but he knows that would sound far too like the First Order for her liking. It wasn't as if the Republic or the Resistance were immune to such things. Sacrifices were at times necessary. He keeps it to himself, though he knows his thoughts don't always stay his own with how strong their connection through the Force is.

"I like this place better when you're here." He'd felt restless with her gone and then with their kiss the night before - he'd become more anxious to see her. His larger hand moves to cover hers, capturing it against his chest where she could still the steady beat of his heart in his rib cage. His other hand remains at her waist, drawing lazy circles with his thumb on her hip.

"So... what do we do about this?" Them. Clearly unified in their belief that they were becoming more than enemies or friends. They had become somewhat a couple and he didn't know really what to do about it. It changed a few things just as much as it had created that understanding between them.

She lets him have her hand, smiling a little at the unfamiliar sensation of his thumb drawing circles on her hip. Things seemed to have settled around them, a calmness washing over her as she stands here with him in his room, having affirmed that yes, there is something here, something more than just friendship.

His question draws a quiet laugh from her, and she shakes her head, shrugging her shoulders at the same time.

"I don't know. Do you want to go to the library and look up Thedosian courting customs?" She's teasing, a corner of her mouth curled as she shifts her stance a little, leaning closer to him. She'd created some distance when she'd pulled away to give him his gift, she wants it gone, now.

He lets out an amused huff, his smile returning around the same time hers does. Looking at her now, a hunger for the closeness she was offering lingered in his thoughts just as much as his gaze. He worries lightly at his bottom lip before pressing onward with a light kiss against her lips. If she had any intention of going back to her room to sleep alone, well she would have to put those plans on hold. He wanted her to stay.

"I think we can come up with a few creative ideas. I don't think we need to study books just yet." He mumbles against her lips, barely restraining himself from kissing her harder than he is now. If there was one thing he often lacked it was self control. His hand on her hip slides up her back again, pressing her close to him while his other hand still trapped hers against his chest, unless she chose to move it away.

She feels a tingle rush up her spine as he kisses her. It remains when he pulls her closer, their hands trapped between his chest and hers, her other sliding up into his hair. She likes his hair, the texture, the way it feels as she rakes her fingers through it.

His words make her laugh a little, partly because he's talking against her lips, partly the content of the sentence. They were nothing if not capable of coming up with things on their own. She kisses him again, lips pressing into his, before responding.

"Do you have any ideas right now?"

"Stay?" He kisses her again, stepping back towards his bed and bringing her with him with each step. "Tell me about the places you've seen."

He takes a seat on the edge of the bed, holding her hands in his as he looks up at her. Perhaps for someone else an invitation to stay the night might have other meanings, but for the two of them it meant relief from ghosts that haunted their sleep. It was late, after all.

"Or we can get some rest. You've had a busy day." He rubs his thumbs over the backs of her hands, marveling at how small they were yet strong. She'd been able to nearly split him in half without hardly any training at all. These hands of hers were also capable of kindness just as much as cruelty. It spoke of who she was as a person and the choices she'd made - she chose to do good things and believe in the good of others while he still struggled.

Edited 2018-04-17 00:08 (UTC)

He didn't even need to ask, she'd locked her door half with the intent that once she stepped into his room she wasn't leaving again until the morning. She smiles down at him as he sits, holding her hands. She knows there's a few steps missing here, that ordinarily people in couples didn't share a bed until after they engaged in less innocent activities, but. She also knows there's nothing ordinary between them.

She leans down to kiss him lightly before freeing her hands, unbelting her satchel and kicking off her shoes, crawling onto the bed next to him.

"It is late. But it's... been a good day. I almost don't want it to end."

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