#morale || OTA

[the_cleric]

WHO: Jester + 9 lizards + "Alistair" + YOU.
WHAT: omg lizards, you guys, there are lizards. have lizards infested the Gallows? no! this is a mission of morale! come get your new pets, and if lizards don't do it for you--then at least come and help the Inquisition figure out how to help you feel more inspired. you'll get a piece of pastry for your trouble.
WHEN: late Kingsway
WHERE: the Gallows
NOTES: I hope you like lizards, because there are a lot of lizards.

i. Lizards, lizards everywhere!

There's a lizard on your boot.

In the hall, eating a meal--in the library, reading a book--in the garden, working that green thumb--in your quarters, getting dressed for the day--you feel a strange brush of something against the top of your foot, through the leather of your boot, and you look down and there, blinking up at you, is a lizard.

Small, no bigger than the length of an average forefinger, and green, with an off-green stripe down its back and black markings around its black-button lizard eyes. And a black tongue, when it licks its own eyeball, either in greeting or out of nerves. Otherwise the lizard stares, fixedly, up at you.

After a moment, it cocks its head.

A giggle interrupts the scene, and when you look up--there's Jester, watching from a safe distance, making no real attempt to hide herself. If you're in the hall, she's three tables away, holding a croissant over her mouth to hide her smile, like a demure lady might hold a fan. If you're in the library, she's peeking around a bookshelf, with her own sketchbook held to cover half her face, right up to her nose, so that only her eyes are visible. They have a certain mischievous sparkle to them. And if you're in your room, she's actually got the door cracked open, and she's peeking in that space between doorframe and door.

"Ohhhhhh--" Full of barely-contained laughter. "Oh, my gosh, wow, looks like you have got a new pet--"

ii. The Prayer Garden, featuring: "Alistair"... and more lizards.

In the prayer garden, beside the Templar tower, the smell of paint is sharp in the air. Usually it smells like dirt, like warm grass and stones when there's sunshine--or damp and green after a rain--or a little bit of the salt sea-smell that drifts over the walls when the wind picks up. But today it has the smell of paint.

Also, there are lizards. Five lizards, to be exact, green and off-green, one with a yellow stripe down its tail. One of them is wearing a tiny hat, fastened with a tiny, tiny bow.

The paint smell is from a large sign that has been--you guessed it--painted right on the wall of the templar tower. Bright pink, still tacky, if you go up to touch it. Big bold letters, about two feet high:

WELCOME TO THE TRAVELER'S TEMPLE. THE TRAVELER LOVES ME AND ALSO YOU. TAKE A LIZARD!

And on his knees, holding up a tiny hoop of grass for the lizards to jump through--

Well, it's Alistair. Or at least, he looks like Alistair. Like, the Alistair. And he's wearing Alistair's clothes, and he looks more or less like what Alistair would look like, if he was coordinating an amateur lizard circus.

And when Alistair notices that he is no longer alone in the garden, he drops the hoop and points, at the wall. "Hey, look!" He sounds, kind of, like Alistair. A little funny, like maybe he has a cold, and acquired a slight accent. "Look, what someone did! That is crazy, right? But check out these lizards--they are cute--"

On your way out of the garden, you may notice the large dick that has been painted above the door. Because of course.

iii. The Morale Booth: some lizards, mostly lizard-free.

There is a booth set up the main courtyard. Festooned liberally with ribbons, and chains of painted paper links, with flowers tucked everywhere, it is crowned by a large sign.

M O R A L E!

The O has been painted to look like a sun, with a smiley face. Jester is sitting behind the booth, with ribbons looped tastefully around her horns, drawing in her sketchbook and eating pastries from a small bag. A plate of cut-up pastry is beside her. Little colorful toothpicks skew each piece, hors d'oeuvres for the taking. There is also a big piece of paper, with a pencil, titled HELP ME HELP YOU, and decorated with smiley faces all along the borders. Some dicks, too, of course--and one dickbutt, the universal constant.

Curious? When approached, Jester drops her pencil so she can give greeting, with a smile.

"Hello, my name is Jester, and I am a Rifter, and a tiefling, even if I look like a qunari--and also, I am the morale officer of the Inquisition! It is very, very important. And if you tell me how the Inquisition can improve your morale, then you can eat one of these little pastries, and I will draw a picture of you!"

She holds up the plate of pastries in one hand, and her sketchbook in the other, open to a full-page illustration of a giant lizard destroying the Gallows. The act of hoisting these items makes her biceps flex, inadvertently, in her cute blue dress.

Above her, perched on the sign, is another lizard. This one is wearing a tiny pink bow. It stares down at the scene, with judgmental tiny eyes.

Comments

i

[gatheringstorm]

Korrin is grabbing a quick bite in the dining hall, making a mental to-do list that keeps growing despite her best efforts. Such it is that she's taken to multitasking, biting into a sandwich with one hand while jotting down a list in her notebook. For once, she's not really engaging with others, trying to stay focused. Despite her distraction, the slight weight on her foot doesn't go unnoticed and she glances down, cocking her head back at the lizard when she gets a good look at it.

"Well, hello there." The giggle draws her attention over to Jester and her lips twitch, mirth reaching her eyes. "Funny how that happens, eh? Though it might not want to be my pet, I have a partner with a fox who will definitely eye it as a meal."

[the_cleric]

"Not if they become friends," Jester says, with great confidence. She drops the croissant back onto her plate, so she can beam more directly at the lizard--and at Korrin, too. "Hugh is a very good lizard. He would probably be just fine with a fox."

If the fox would be find with Mr. Hugh Jass, who can say. Jester is apparently unconcerned. Without waiting for an invitation, she grabs her plate and pushes back the bench when she stands up, so she can move over and join Korrin.

"And I think he needs some protection. People are dicks to lizards, man. Innocent lizards, who never ever hurt anyone, they're just here to be pets!"

[gatheringstorm]

At that, Korrin raises an eyebrow. "...have you met Lux? Entitled little shit of a fox, bottomless pit, scourge of the Gallows? He's not very good with sharing the spotlight, or I'd probably have added a pet to our roster by now. It's more likely he'd be just fine with having the lizard in his stomach."

Sorry, lizard. You're kind of cute and all, but Korrin knows its chances of survival will be much higher outside her apartment. She strokes it lightly, though doesn't want to get attached. "You got these at the Grand Tourney, didn't you? I saw them being offered as prizes."

[the_cleric]

"Oh. Oh," Jester says, with dawning understanding, "yes, I have met him. He is very pretty, but I heard that same thing about him, that he might eat Hugh and his brothers and sisters. So-o-o..."

Carefully, she picks Hugh up and sticks him in the pocket of her pinafore. He makes a quiet nlurp, and rustles around a little as he gets comfortable.

And, since she is already here, Jester sits down across from Korrin, making herself right at home.

"They were prizes, yeah. Now they are pets! I have nine of them, but I started with ten. I got some other cool stuff, too. What did you get?"

[gatheringstorm]

Jester's understanding earns her a smile, as she watches the pocket rustle for a moment. The lizard will find a better home than hers, hopefully. She closes the notebook; her focus is broken, and it can wait anyhow.

"I got one of those wooden celebrants. You know, a replica of the blade they giver the winner of the tourney? I have it set up over my fireplace now, since it's too pretty to use for training. Honestly, even that only happened because I got eliminated in the events." Quicker than she'd thought, too. Her pride stung a little at that, but oh well. Next time.

[the_cleric]

"Ooooh. Cool. Well, kind of cool--did they run out of real swords? But I guess a wooden one is okay too. If it looks very very good, and is very very well-made."

Still not as good as a real sword. Probably.

"But what was up with those events, man! Were they rigged or something? Because the same thing happened to me, basically!"

[gatheringstorm]

"Nah, I think they just wanted to save a real sword for the victor. Which, fine. I only want it if I actually earn it."

Korrin wrinkles her nose, though. "It's not impossible, I guess? I'm sure there are plenty of assholes who wanted to see the Inquisition, mages, qunari and rifters fail. But I'll also admit that maybe fighting whatever the Inquisition sends me at isn't the most productive training. If I really want to have a good shot at winning, that means learning from other battle mages. Those vints were something else." She looks as thought she'd just bitten into something sour upon realizing what she'd said. "Ugh, don't pass it on that I gave them a compliment."

[the_cleric]

"Ugh." Jester matches Korrin's expression. "Those assholes. I heard someone say that they cheated, maybe. And that someone is me right now! Because I bet they would like to see other people fail!"

She takes a big bite of her pastry as punctuation. All she knows about Tevinter is what she has been told and what she has overheard. But they sound nasty.

"Okay okay, but is battle mage a title or what? I have never heard it before."

[gatheringstorm]

Someone else might try to push for a more nuanced opinion on the matter, but that person isn't Korrin. She smirks at Jester's enthusiastic disdain, nodding in agreement. Tevinter has always been at odds with the rest of Thedas, it seems, in all the worst ways.

"It's a specialized form of fighting, for mages. Most mages are shit on the front lines and hang back as ranged fighters in combat. Battle mages -and Knight-Enchanters, I'm both- learn techniques which give them staying power on the battlefield, putting them on par with any trained warrior."

[the_cleric]

"Ohhhhh." She takes another bite of pastry, and then, with a quick glance down, starts brushing crumbs off of her blouse where they've fallen. "Like, we have wizards and warlocks, and clerics, like me--and like, sorcerers and, and paladins use some magic-- so that's what a battle mage is, kind of, huh? What about a Knight-Enchanter? That one sounds soooo cooool..."

[gatheringstorm]

"Kind of, I guess?" She's still not crystal clear on the differences between all those spellcasters, but Jester's other question distracts her from puzzling over it, at least for now. "Well, technically they're rare mages who receive special dispensation from the Chantry to serve in battle. I'm not a Circle mage and Circles don't exist anymore anyway, but I did learn from one. Anyway, Knight-Enchanters learn magic that keeps them on the front lines; we can summon spirit blades, our protective barriers last as long as we keep fighting, and every so often we can even throw in a powerful burst of healing. I try not to use that last one unless I really need it, though, it'll take a while to regain. I can't just use it over and over again the way I summon a blade or fire."

[the_cleric]

"Heyyy! Me too!"

Jester considers, momentarily, summoning her spiritual weapon as proof. But Korrin has already seen it, and anyways, that would be crazy over the top. Instead she just leans forward, eagerly.

"I can do lots of those things too! The spirit blade--that is my spiritual weapon, remember it? A big lollipop! And the barrier, to-ooo, kind of--I can cast Sanctuary, or I will once I learn it--and I can heal, too, but it is really really boring and definitely not as fun as kicking ass with my spiritual weapon. Wow, we really are alike, huh? That is crazy! But you do not have a god that teaches you things, right? You can just do things? Do you have any cool stuff you can do just because you are a qunari?"

[gatheringstorm]

"I remember your lollipop; trust me, beating an enemy to death with isn't going to fade from my mind any time soon." Korrin chuckles, tickled at seeing such an unconventional weapon in action.

"We can headbutt people and really make it hurt. Does that count? Also, we can use a type of war paint for our faces that no other races can use, because it's toxic to them. Vitaar is what a lot of us use instead of helmets, since horns tend to get in the way of that."

[the_cleric]

"Whoaaaa." Jester's eyes round. "I have not heard about that paint. Vitaar. Does it work like a helmet? Because why else would you paint it on, instead of wearing a helmet?"

Actually. She leans forward, dropping her volume to a conspiratorial whisper. "Do you think I could use it? Because I am, like, kind of a qunari, right?"

[gatheringstorm]

"Pffft, for all intents and purposes you are a qunari. So yeah, I'm absolutely sure you can use it. If you want, we can always head back to my place and I can show you how to apply it. And yes, it's absolutely as good as a helmet."

Korrin's pretty smug about that, but then she's still alive and breathing and never needed an actual helmet when there was a good alternative. She might as well introduce that to Jester sooner than later, in case it's needed.