WHO: Thor, Loki, and open WHAT: Funeral proceedings WHEN: Backdated to shortly after returning to Kirkwall WHERE: House Asgard, Wounded Coast NOTES: Grief and loss
There's nothing that makes this easier. The loss of a parent is a painful burden to bear, he thinks, even if they're not someone who was particularly close to you. Sojiro had been far more doting on Genji than he ever had with Hanzo himself and that's one of the things he carries with him; that the 'sparrow' had been the favourite, but he had been born first. Hanzo had never been the one that was loved most, but he had thought he had made his peace with it.
Sometimes it haunts him. He tries not to think about it.
At least he can understand duty, perhaps better than anyone else might. He had thought he was doing his duty when he had killed Genji. He had thought that he was doing his duty when he had taken the position of Magister from his father and stood in the circle of all his peers, stoney and proud. Duty is a messy, confused thing, and Hanzo wants to do what is best, now, to earn his redemption. The life of his spirits depends on it.
Thinking of Tevinter gives him pause, though, and Hanzo breathes out sharply before he nods his head.
"I was there. I saw the streets. I saw the people." He frowns, looking away. "It is no longer my place."
He breathes out, feeling the rejection as if it's personal rather than directed at the country. Hanzo is, was, a magister. Thor will be one day. It's a sacred obligation and service to the people. It's the status that demands a vigil like this for Magisters and their families. Hanzo isn't rejecting him, but he's rejecting everything Thor believes in and the look Thor gives him is confused and lost.
"Why?" It's asked feather-soft. Thor cannot afford to put too much emotion into anything right at this moment, as he cannot let the dam break. "We are what should protect them from this storm. They need us more than ever before, and you are already opposed to Corypheus, you are with the Inquisition. I..."
He trails off and looks away himself. "Forgive me. It is not right for House Asgard to pry into House Shimada. I forget myself."
The title of Magister is not one easily given up and Hanzo is aware of it. He had not passed it on to anyone nor was there someone truly of his blood to take his place - he had seen to that. Genji was never made to lead nor rule and the idea of his younger brother wearing the mantle of leadership like that was enough to encourage some discomfort in him, but he managed all the same. He's tight, tense, but he does what he can, his head turning to look over at Thor.
Now is not the time, surely, but what time will ever be good enough for such a conversation.
"House Shimada is not what it once was." His voice is quiet, soft. Sad, almost, because Hanzo had believed in his blood for a long time. "My family... It has never been what true Magisters should be. House Shimada, without a Magister to guide them, has chosen Corypheus as their friend."
A sad sigh.
"House Shimada cannot protect the people from those that they follow."
And now the break makes sense. Venatori. They had made their choice, and Hanzo had chosen to oppose them. No doubt there were any number of cousins hoping to find both of the missing brothers and kill them to take over the seat, which is why Hanzo would be so deeply in hiding so as to pretend to not even be a mage anymore.
Thor reaches over and clasps Hanzo's shoulder. In Tevinter, this would be a gambit. People might read alliances or threats and there would be a political swirl around the gesture. But here, with no enemies present and likely no one else knowing who Hanzo is, it seems safe to offer him a small comfort.
"Those who have fallen can still be taught, and those who have traveled far may find they have an ally should they wish to return and set things right. There is always a chance for change, and for redemption." He glances over at Loki briefly. "I believe this with all that I am."
It's not quite as simple as Hanzo disagreeing with their choice to follow the Venatori, of course. He had been away from Tevinter for ten years and this alliance could be called recent, in a way. It had come down to the loss of Genji, his shame, the dishonour and the pollution of his spirits - it had not been a moral choice in the sense of disagreeing with what his uncles had told him.
No, Hanzo could not claim that.
The touch to his shoulder does make him pause, though, a more outward sign of affection than he is used to receiving in public. His eyes drink Thor in for a moment, concerned and uncertain - he does not look the part of a Magister, as Tevinter as he might seem - but he accepts it all the same, nodding his head.
"I am not sure if I shall ever be able to return," he admits quietly. "I do not know what place there is for me after being gone for so long." It might change, of course, if the Inquisition demands a Magister ally, but until then... "Redemption is all I can hope for."
He nods in return and drops his hand back down, turning to view the small gathering. Even at times like this it costs little to be encouraging. Or maybe it is that in times like this it's more important to reach out.
"There is a place, I am certain of it. Our country needs those who can bring it to a better place." To a place free of Corypheus and the Venatori, able to stand strong as other nations crumbled from within. Like Nevarra. And he would not deny that he wants something to come from her death, a legacy so that she'd be remembered by more than simply his family.
It's a difficult situation to be sure. Hanzo is stuck here in the Inquistion until he finds a way to get back to whatever it is he wants to do, and it is what he has chosen to do to try and earn his redemption, to earn his place, to try and feel as though he is making amends. It is not good enough, he thinks, and he can feel the weight of that uncertainty like something heavy on his chest, something coiled ready to burst from him.
At least this is familiar enough that it gives him some comfort. He feels more at ease with it, admittedly, than he might like to admit otherwise.
"I am not sure I am one who would bring that." His regrets cloud him. Few know about the truth of Genji Shimada's death slash disappearance and he would prefer to keep it that way, but it is a ghost that haunts him even now. He frowns, staring out at the crowd. "But there are others. People who will make our home strong again."
He has motivated men before, but they were warriors under his command, not his equals. It was also when he was not quite so tired. As Hanzo looks at the crowd, Thor looks back at the body of his mother. What would she have done here? Probably smiled, laughed, and then brought up something from Hanzo's past that painted him in a good light. Thor can't do that.
"We can fight for it from here for now," he offers. It's not an alliance offer, the 'we,' but he can test the waters. His house is weakened, but it still stands and the people can see from their loss that they are not bending knee to Corypheus. House Shimada, if it survives after Corypheus is defeated, may need House Asgard.
Or maybe it won't. He needs to speak with Loki and see what his brother thinks of all of this. His insight could help.
What does he want? That's a difficult question for him to answer because the truth is that he doesn't really know. He doesn't know what his place here truly is, despite his recent promotion, and he doesn't know what the future is going to hold for him. He is constantly trying to find his place, trying to earn his redemption, and being mixed up with more and more people from Tevinter who know who he truly is... It's discomforting.
He appreciates the fact that Thor has been trying, and he's a far kinder ally than Hanzo had imagined he should be. He has kept his secrets better than Hanzo had anticipated, too, and he feels more comfortable with him than he had thought. It makes some of the tension bleed out of him, the uncertainty of the situation settling a little before he breathes out softly, just enough.
If there is a home for him to return to... Perhaps it would be worth having a friend.
"Perhaps we can," he admits quietly. "But I do not know what I want. For now... I wish to earn a place."
He nods. Birth is not earning on its own. There are plenty of firstborn who have... vanished... when it was clear they could not handle the responsibility of the Magisterum. Likely it is much the same story in other lands. And perhaps that is what came to place in the Shimada clan - Hanzo departed, the younger was found unsatisfactory, and there is guilt there that makes Hanzo feel unworthy.
"If there was ever an opportunity to earn a place, it seems to be the Inquisition." There's enough ambition in this place to create five Magisterums. "And perhaps to find a direction on one's life."
Selfishly, if Hanzo proves as solid a man as he's appearing to be, Thor hopes the Shimada's direction parallels his own. Tevinter will need it.
Hanzo is glad, at least, that the truth of what happened in the Shimada family is something that has been kept secret. If anyone in the Inquisition found out the truth of what had happened to Genji, what had happened when Sojiro had died and left the seat of Magister to his eldest son... He is sure his welcome here would be thin, that it would not take long for him to find his welcome wearing thin. They might accept an assassin, but a man who murdered his brother seeking power?
He breathes out, sharp and unsure, staring forward in front of him as he tries to think of what to do, what to say. Perhaps the Shimada family would be better with him, but he cannot imagine that they would not get worse with him back at the helm.
"That is all that can be hoped for," he admits. Hanzo seeks, more than anything else, his own redemption. He seeks to find a means to prove himself, to earn the right to say that he has been forgiven for his misdeeds.
He only hopes that, somewhere, in whatever afterlife there is waiting for them, Genji can see that he is trying.
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no subject
Sometimes it haunts him. He tries not to think about it.
At least he can understand duty, perhaps better than anyone else might. He had thought he was doing his duty when he had killed Genji. He had thought that he was doing his duty when he had taken the position of Magister from his father and stood in the circle of all his peers, stoney and proud. Duty is a messy, confused thing, and Hanzo wants to do what is best, now, to earn his redemption. The life of his spirits depends on it.
Thinking of Tevinter gives him pause, though, and Hanzo breathes out sharply before he nods his head.
"I was there. I saw the streets. I saw the people." He frowns, looking away. "It is no longer my place."
no subject
"Why?" It's asked feather-soft. Thor cannot afford to put too much emotion into anything right at this moment, as he cannot let the dam break. "We are what should protect them from this storm. They need us more than ever before, and you are already opposed to Corypheus, you are with the Inquisition. I..."
He trails off and looks away himself. "Forgive me. It is not right for House Asgard to pry into House Shimada. I forget myself."
no subject
Now is not the time, surely, but what time will ever be good enough for such a conversation.
"House Shimada is not what it once was." His voice is quiet, soft. Sad, almost, because Hanzo had believed in his blood for a long time. "My family... It has never been what true Magisters should be. House Shimada, without a Magister to guide them, has chosen Corypheus as their friend."
A sad sigh.
"House Shimada cannot protect the people from those that they follow."
no subject
Thor reaches over and clasps Hanzo's shoulder. In Tevinter, this would be a gambit. People might read alliances or threats and there would be a political swirl around the gesture. But here, with no enemies present and likely no one else knowing who Hanzo is, it seems safe to offer him a small comfort.
"Those who have fallen can still be taught, and those who have traveled far may find they have an ally should they wish to return and set things right. There is always a chance for change, and for redemption." He glances over at Loki briefly. "I believe this with all that I am."
no subject
No, Hanzo could not claim that.
The touch to his shoulder does make him pause, though, a more outward sign of affection than he is used to receiving in public. His eyes drink Thor in for a moment, concerned and uncertain - he does not look the part of a Magister, as Tevinter as he might seem - but he accepts it all the same, nodding his head.
"I am not sure if I shall ever be able to return," he admits quietly. "I do not know what place there is for me after being gone for so long." It might change, of course, if the Inquisition demands a Magister ally, but until then... "Redemption is all I can hope for."
no subject
"There is a place, I am certain of it. Our country needs those who can bring it to a better place." To a place free of Corypheus and the Venatori, able to stand strong as other nations crumbled from within. Like Nevarra. And he would not deny that he wants something to come from her death, a legacy so that she'd be remembered by more than simply his family.
It is the greatest comfort he can have right now.
no subject
At least this is familiar enough that it gives him some comfort. He feels more at ease with it, admittedly, than he might like to admit otherwise.
"I am not sure I am one who would bring that." His regrets cloud him. Few know about the truth of Genji Shimada's death slash disappearance and he would prefer to keep it that way, but it is a ghost that haunts him even now. He frowns, staring out at the crowd. "But there are others. People who will make our home strong again."
no subject
"We can fight for it from here for now," he offers. It's not an alliance offer, the 'we,' but he can test the waters. His house is weakened, but it still stands and the people can see from their loss that they are not bending knee to Corypheus. House Shimada, if it survives after Corypheus is defeated, may need House Asgard.
Or maybe it won't. He needs to speak with Loki and see what his brother thinks of all of this. His insight could help.
"What is it you want, Hanzo Shimada?"
no subject
He appreciates the fact that Thor has been trying, and he's a far kinder ally than Hanzo had imagined he should be. He has kept his secrets better than Hanzo had anticipated, too, and he feels more comfortable with him than he had thought. It makes some of the tension bleed out of him, the uncertainty of the situation settling a little before he breathes out softly, just enough.
If there is a home for him to return to... Perhaps it would be worth having a friend.
"Perhaps we can," he admits quietly. "But I do not know what I want. For now... I wish to earn a place."
no subject
"If there was ever an opportunity to earn a place, it seems to be the Inquisition." There's enough ambition in this place to create five Magisterums. "And perhaps to find a direction on one's life."
Selfishly, if Hanzo proves as solid a man as he's appearing to be, Thor hopes the Shimada's direction parallels his own. Tevinter will need it.
no subject
He breathes out, sharp and unsure, staring forward in front of him as he tries to think of what to do, what to say. Perhaps the Shimada family would be better with him, but he cannot imagine that they would not get worse with him back at the helm.
"That is all that can be hoped for," he admits. Hanzo seeks, more than anything else, his own redemption. He seeks to find a means to prove himself, to earn the right to say that he has been forgiven for his misdeeds.
He only hopes that, somewhere, in whatever afterlife there is waiting for them, Genji can see that he is trying.