[OPEN] I can't get by pretending it's okay

[amygdalae]

WHO: Bruce Banner and Anybody Else
WHAT: Everything Is Fine And Nothing Is Wrong: a premier by Bruce
WHEN: Haring 16 onwards
WHERE: All over Skyhold
NOTES: Mostly open post through the rest of December - prompts and such are under the cut. I'm starting in brackets, but feel free to switch to prose and I will follow accordingly! Also warning for angst and Bruce being Bruce.

one. making the rounds. (courtyards, most of skyhold)

[Almost one week later, Bruce still can't quite shake off the entire incident from his mind. Or rather, he can't shake off the image of the dead mage in his head when he finally made it out of the garden, the poor soul gone for good after what Adelaide and the others had done.

He couldn't blame them, of course - they were only doing what was necessary, what was right - but all the same it still reminded Bruce of the reality of what he was and how people would perceive him if they ever knew the truth. The moment they knew... nothing would ever be quite the same, that he was certain of.

He tries not to dwell on it too much, but it continues to haunt him through the day as he does his daily rounds. Having denied himself the use of his magic save for that one time with Cole, Bruce is still healing from the injuries he suffered from the abomination. There're bandages around his head and arms and chest (although the last is hidden underneath his clothing) but Bruce doesn't let those get in his way, just as he doesn't let the occasional throb or ache of pain from his still healing ribs stop him from doing his work. Some of his more familiar patients do ask him about it, but Bruce is quick to brush them off and turn the attention back to themselves. They are all far more important than he will ever be, after all.]

two. fixing the garden. (the garden)

[With how things had been that night the abomination had more or less left a good part of the garden damaged. That, of course, included the herbs that had been growing, which was most likely going to cause some issues in the near future.

Still, at least its not like they're gone forever. Bruce drops by the garden whenever he can, helping to get the earth ready once more so that a new batch of herbs can be planted with the hope that they'll grow properly and without interruption this time around. It hard labor, yes, but at least the work helps Bruce to temporarily keep his mind off the more dangerous lines of thoughts that he knows he shouldn't dwell on. How long that works, though, is another thing entirely.]

three. midnight wanderings. (battlements and library)

[The thoughts never leave him, not really, and Bruce knows full well that he's going to have to deal with a good while of not being able to sleep properly. Sleepless nights are practically an old friend to him now.

That doesn't mean he will let himself waste his time - since he is awake he might as well make full use of what he has. On some nights he can be found on the battlements, brewing potions up there in the quiet that's only broken by the footsteps of the night patrol. On other nights he might in the library instead, perusing several books and if one manages to catch him at the right time, will see that it pertains to abominations and other such things related to them.]

wildcard.

[Feel free to throw in your own prompt or PM/contact me to plot out stuff!]

Comments

[amygdalae]

Bruce gave a small smile at that, agreeing with the notion, although there was a bit of a wry twist to his response still.

"Just do as much as you're able to," he assures, wanting her to know that she didn't have to force herself on anything if she wasn't willing to. "There are many of us who wish help fix the garden as well, so you don't have to do everything by yourself." It was something that Bruce had to remind himself as well, sometimes - remembering that there were other people who would help was something Bruce himself had to keep in mind from time to time.

[demonicbeauty]

"I know," she said gently. "I've also been around gardens enough to know that the more people who work the land, the better the end result will be."

It was a matter of ownership. Of people saying 'it's my garden' rather than 'it's his garden' or 'her garden.' Gardens and communities were mirror images of each other.

And a place for hope.

[amygdalae]

A garden was the result of many people working together - especially one that was this big. There was no way one person could feasibly manage it all by themselves. If any progress was to be made, they had to do it together.

Bruce nodded in agreement to her words, then turned his gaze down to study the land. "Alright, since you're the one with experience, perhaps you can tell me where to begin." Bruce was far from an expert, so if she said she knew more than he did then he was more than happy to let her direct him here.

[demonicbeauty]

It wasn't often that anyone looked to Ariadne for her expertise. It was sort of exciting really. It might cause her some pride, perhaps. But mostly, just a thrill.

"Well," she said, pulling herself up to her full height of five foot two, "the best place to begin would be rotating the soil. Looser soil is better for planting. And it'll scratch up the nutrients that are beneath the surface."

[amygdalae]

Loosening the soil - Bruce had thought so, but it was nice to have confirmation, all the same. He nodded to her words, transferring his gaze over to a part of the garden where the soil was already dug up and loosened.

"Let's start with that first, then," he said. "That way we can properly divide up the space as well for the things we can plant."

[demonicbeauty]

Eagerly, Ariadne nodded. She moved over to the area he'd chosen, a little bounce in her step. It wasn't only her voice that was girlish. It was the way she moved too. It seemed to belie and undermine her age completely.

Without any concern for her clothing, she knelt down in the dirt, digging her fingers in with relish. It had been too long since she'd felt of use to anyone. This was as comfortable as slipping into a warm bath.

Something else she hadn't had in awhile. Not that Alastrians ever bathed all that much.

"I've been learning more about Thedas," she told Bruce cheerfully. "Which kingdom are you from?"

[amygdalae]

Bruce followed her over to where she had decided to begin her work, watching as she started to dig in with her hands alone, blinking at the sight. He supposed that was one way to do it, although he should probably go around and ask for a spade or shovel--

"Oh, uh--" Bruce hesitated for a moment after she asked him that question, mostly because Bruce was never used to people asking him about himself. He was deeply private, by nature, and years of having to conceal his identity had made him wary about sharing anything at all. But it wasn't fair to her, especially since she wasn't even part of this world.

He recollected himself after that moment, giving her a smile again as he replied properly this time around. "Ferelden." Not that it was ever going to be obvious for the people who did live in Thedas - his years of travel had all but washed out the accent he had grown up with.

[demonicbeauty]

"Ferelden," she repeated. "I think I've heard of that one."

She had, but it was more or less an open invitation for him to talk more.

In her experience, most Humans loved to talk about themselves. Which wasn't necessarily a bad thing. She could understand it, really. Especially back home, where Humans were often jokingly thought of as the blandest of races. It only made sense that individuals would want to single out their lives

And Ariadne loved listening. It was the best way to learn.

[amygdalae]

There was a small chuckle from Bruce at that. "I would be surprised if you hadn't." Ferelden did hold its own share of fame - or infamy, however people wanted to see it. That combined with the fact that they were pretty much on Ferelden soil, it was impossible to not know.

He watched her loosen up a bit more of the soil for another few moments after that before speaking again. "What have you heard of Ferelden, then? Or any of the other places, for that matter." Being able to hear the perspective of somebody who had not grown up in Thedas at all would be... well, interesting, to say the least.

[demonicbeauty]

She gestured for him to join her, working the soil. "I've heard that the realm is occupied mostly by Humans," she said. "Which is very strange to me." There were a few Human-dominated kingdoms back home. But by and large, it was the Elves that controlled most of the land and governments.

Or, at least, it had been before the Red Dragon...

Best not to think of that too much.

"Where I come from," she explained, "it's different."

[amygdalae]

Bruce glanced around for a moment after she gestured to him - quickly noticing a pair of spades lying nearby which he went to pick up and then returned with them.

"How is it different?" he asked as he made a move to kneel down beside her, passing her one of the spades so that she could work with it instead of her bare hands. "That is, if you don't mind talking about it."

[demonicbeauty]

Ariadne accepted the spade. Truth be told, she preferred working with her hands, but she figured she ought to go out of her way to fit in as much as she could. Anyway, she knew how to work with the spade. So she did.

"Oh, I don't mind," she said earnestly. "It's just that in my world, the dominant race is Elvish. They aren't like your Elves though." They were much more powerful, for one thing. And did more looking down than being looked down upon.

She still couldn't get used to that prejudice.

"The kingdom where I was living, Valeria, is the seat of Elvish power in the realm, actually. I know Princess Amanda. My aunt serves as her court translator."

[amygdalae]

There was a brief pause at her words, because that was rather unexpected. Even he had to take a moment to parse that before he could actually start to formulate a response to that.

"Well, in the past here, elves did rule over the land a long time ago." But that was a time very long ago - in fact it was almost ancient, really. "Our history tells us that humans grew into power, and then eventually overthrew the elves. But like I said, that's what our own history tells us."

Bruce couldn't confirm if that was actually true or not, but the reality of now was also hard to ignore. Whatever the humans did then, and however the elves fell--that was a story that was long lost to the ages.

[demonicbeauty]

It was the same about the Alastrians. None of the members of Ariadne's pack knew the true story of how they'd gone from a proud race to a scattered race of game animals, hunted down but humanoids.

History was funny in that way.

"Humans and Elves had an uneasy relationship for centuries in my homeland," she admitted. "I like to think they were just beginning to come to understand one another, before the Red Dragon began his conquest."

[amygdalae]

The uneasy relationship part was easy enough to take in, at least - it was pretty much the same here, after all - but the part about the Red Dragon made him pause. The only other time he saw a 'red dragon' was the dragon that swooped in and attacked Haven, and he was pretty certain that nothing like that existed for wherever she hailed from.

"Red Dragon?" he inquired after a pause, unable to hold back his curiosity.

[demonicbeauty]

"A warlord," Ariadne said. And for some reason, her voice finally seemed to match her age. There were few things Ariadne spoke about as seriously as she did the Red Dragon. Which stood to reason, because he was a serious threat, closing in from all sides on what little freedom remain in the realm.

Closing in on Valeria. Her home. Where she was supposed to be right now, helping.

Well, she'd already stressed over that quite a lot.

"He's been conquering kingdoms one after another, pretty much since I was a baby. He's terribly cruel. He's razed entire villages, even after they surrendered to him. Just to show his own strength."

[amygdalae]

That certainly made more sense, even though hearing about it--it certainly didn't seem pleasant at all. Hearing that also made him feel bad, knowing that she had something to do and a place to be and suddenly having all of that torn away from her without warning. It had to be hard to deal with.

"He sounds terribly cruel," Bruce managed, with as much solemnity as he could bring out within him. "And I'm sorry to hear that. It isn't fair for you to be suddenly brought here like this when your own place is in trouble too."

[demonicbeauty]

She ducked her head slightly, her braid slipping over her left shoulder. "From what I understand," she said, "the Rift isn't all that concerned with fair."

The apology was appreciated. But hardly necessary. Things happened in the world, probabilities collided. There was no point in taking responsibility for them, but sympathy was a rare and wonderful thing.

"We may have a way to stop him," she added, running her hand over the loosened soil. She didn't want to leave Bruce feeling as sad as she did about the situation. Sure, Aunt Lysia's plan was insane, but sometimes insane things had a surprisingly high probability of working. And if anyone could pull it off, it was the team Lysia had brought together.

True, the team was now missing a member. But really, it wasn't like they needed her.

[amygdalae]

Things may be beyond his control but that didn't mean that Bruce couldn't sympathize with her plight. It was still a terrible thing that happened to her, and she didn't deserve any of what happened one bit - especially being thrown here without warning or reason.

"I hope for your sake that it ends well, then." Bruce glances over to her and makes an attempt at an encouraging smile. Though he may not fully ever understand her plight, he can at least do his best to be as encouraging as possible - it was the least he could do for the trouble they have all caused because of the Breach and the rifts.

[demonicbeauty]

Ariadne paused to consider it a moment. "There is a perfect possible future where everything will turn out just fine and the odds of creating that future are only one million, six hundred and seventy-one thousand to one. More or less."

So, there was a chance.

"What do you use for fertilizer around here?"

[amygdalae]

That was... something he didn't expect her to say. It took a bit for him to process her words, but after that he did his best to be encouraging still, all the same. "It's still better than nothing at all." It was something to remember, for her as well for others. Even the tiniest silver of hope was better than knowing there was nothing.

A fact Bruce knew all too well.

"Ah--yes. I think we still have some of the clay we used last time. Let me go get it for you." Bruce stood up and went to grab the bucket of specially-prepared clay he had brought over just for this purpose, returning back with it and setting it down between them as he knelt back down. "We have this. It's about as good as using manure, but with none of the smell."

[demonicbeauty]

It had a scent, but decidedly a better one than manure. Ariadne studied it for a moment, trying to break it down to its individual parts. But then she decided that it was a task best left to when she was alone and could really, really sniff at it.

Using her hands, of course, she started glopping it down into the soil.

"Always put in the fertilizer first," she said. "So the soil is saturated before the seeds."

[amygdalae]

Unlike her Bruce decided to use his spade to bring out the clay from the bucket, plopping down chunks of it down into the soil just as she was doing.

"Alright," he said, just to show that he did hear her. Fertilizer first - that much was easy to understand. "Is there a specific way to put the fertilizer in?"

[demonicbeauty]

"No," Ariadne said. "But I like to mix it up with the topsoil." Even when it was manure. She had never learned to be demure like the girls in the Elvish court. She would watch them occasionally, though. Especially Lady Adriana with her pretty curls and cutting eyes. Occasionally, she would even try to imitate them.

It just never stuck.

[amygdalae]

Bruce gave yet another nod to show that he heard her once more, then using his spade got some of the topsoil to try and start attempting just that.

He paused before he did start though, glancing over to her and giving a curious look. "Perhaps you could show me, so that I don't mess this up." Wouldn't want that to happen, after all.