OPEN

[sulahnan]

WHO: Athessa and YOU!
WHAT: Catch-all because I need to stop exclusively inboxing
WHEN: Whenever but mostly now-ish, post-dream meme
WHERE: Around, Kirkwall and the Gallows, maybe in the field who knows
NOTES: NSFW threads will be marked and/or moved to my NSFW inbox, CW as needed, blah blah blah

Specific starters in the comments!

Comments

[bouchonne]

"Is it?" His voice is perfectly, faultlessly innocent. He beckons her in again. "Then let's keep going till it's not fair any longer."

[sulahnan]

This time, she does hesitate, but after a moment relents and offers her hand again.

"Okay. You get one more before I'd have to retaliate and flick your ear."

[bouchonne]

He nods, apparently thoughtful - and then pulls her by the wrist, and gets half out of his chair, so he can flick her (hard) on the forehead.

[sulahnan]

She makes an inarticulate noise of surprise at that, and covers Byerly's face with her free hand, pushing him away without much malice but enough force to smush his nose.

"Owwuh! Come on, my face is my best feature, sheesh..."

[bouchonne]

"Oh, don't say that, you'll make me feel sorry for you," he replies. Then he holds out his hand for her hand again.

[sulahnan]

"Nope," she retracts her arms and swivels on the desk to hop off, then immediately swivels again to plop down in the seat across from him, all limbs tucked up onto the chair and un-grab-able. "Save it for the duel, Ambassador."

[bouchonne]

He blinks.

"That was the duel," he says. And then, with a very smug smile - "And I won."

[sulahnan]

What.

"That wasn't a duel!" What the hell? "Duels need swords and a second, and accepted terms and all that horseshit."

[bouchonne]

"Oh wow," he says. "Listen to you, telling me about duels. Listen, my girl, do you know how old my bloodline is? We were fighting duels when Andraste was in diapers. Don't think to school me. I won."

[sulahnan]

"Your bloodline isn't participating," she says. "So it doesn't matter whose diapers they dueled over."

[bouchonne]

"Ah, ma cherie, my bloodline is always participating. It is as present as the air itself. As inescapable as the scent of shit in Lowtown."

[sulahnan]

"Oh, is that why you drink so much?"

[bouchonne]

A wry little laugh. "Wouldn't you drink, if you were me? Anyway; I won."

[sulahnan]

She shrugs, splaying her palms as if to show that she isn't holding anything. "I have no idea what I would do if I were you. But fine, sure, you won and your lady wife's honor is saved."

Pause for effect.

"There's nothing I can do to tarnish it."

[bouchonne]

"There you are, then," he says, with a little wave of his hand. Then a dramatic pause for effect, and he adds, "Well, and also, now you owe me eternal servitude."

[sulahnan]

"Uhhh how about I owe you two bottles of wine instead?"

[bouchonne]

A skeptical noise. "That depends. How cheap are you? You seem like you'd be cheap."

[sulahnan]

"How do you know I haven't been saving up all my wages for just such an occasion?"

It's half true, anyway. She has been saving up, but not for wine. Not for anything, just saving because what's she gonna spend it on? Nothin'. She nudges the broken wine bottle with her foot to look at the label.

"Maybe I'll just get more of that." Athessa tilts her head, trying to read the name. "Bord...e...bordie-ucks?"

[bouchonne]

"Mm," he says contemplatively. Then - "I do love my bordeeyucks. I would appreciate if you would find more of it for me."

[sulahnan]

"Then it's settled. Your wife's honor is preemptively avenged, one less elf has to be a servant, and you get to keep drinking the gross grape juice. Everybody wins."

She claps her hands down onto the arms of the chair, stands, and turns to leave.

[bouchonne]

But as she goes, he calls after her - "And I won."

[sulahnan]

She turns as she approaches the door, walking backwards through it.

"Did you?" If everyone wins, it kind of makes him winning less special. She grins, and disappears out into the hall.