faderift | Hot or Not

[ Wysteria is saved the effort by the arrival of Maud, already lugging another rather large bucket of clean soapy water, which has clearly been slopping over the edge on her walk judging by the wet patches on dark grey skirts. ]

Hello, [ she greets them both with a quick smile, more uncertain for the unfamiliar Athessa but no less friendly. ] I was told there's a great deal of scrubbing to be done.

[ If Athessa notes the uncertainty, she doesn't show it, her own grin friendly and a little lopsided. ]

Now that's what I call impeccable timing! Yes, there's plenty of scrubbing to do and until now, too few hands to do it. Some of the sigils look like they might've been painted on with blood, but that's probably fine so long as you don't get any in your mouth.

[Wysteria happily abandons any effort to fetch up the bucket in favor of—]

Maud! What a blessing you are! Athessa—have the two of you met? Maud is a most talented alchemist— We could use a third opinion in our assessments. What is your opinion of Colin? The infirmary mage.

We haven't. It's a pleasure to meet you, Athessa. Though I-- [ her protest about Wysteria's thus-far-unfounded compliment is cut off by the question, and her head tilts as she repurposes the aborted sentence ] can't say that I'm acquainted with him, except in passing here while coordinating supplies for one of the infirmaries. What sort of assessment?

[ She waves, nice to meetcha and moves on to answer: ]

Aesthetics, mostly. Attractiveness, romantic viability, you know. Silly stuff. Oh, but with added points for charm, of course.

Oh, I see. [ Maud hefts the bucket over nearer to the wall, equidistant between the areas they seem to've claimed. ] And you are in disagreement about him, that you require a third opinion?

Oh no, no disagreement whatsoever. But a third opinion may serve as a tiebreaker in case there is no consensus between the two of us.

Now [with an air of clearing the board for something very official], attractiveness - he has a fine enough face and figure. Very pleasant eyes. But as for romantic viability? That is another matter entirely.

Don't forget, he has great hair, too.

[ And she thinks of him like a brother, which doesn't make this weird at all. ]

He's...reserved. Shy. But compassionate.

[ Speaking of reserved, Maud clearly hesitates before chiming in. ]

He seemed dedicated to his work, in the little I saw of him.

[Her hum is very skeptical indeed.]

I really couldn't say one way or another. He seems to have very little time for Rifters. So there, already having a third opinion proves itself useful.

I don't think it's that he doesn't have time for Rifters, specifically, just...time for people in general. I have to strong-arm him out of his apartment most of the time.

[ Maud's hum is not quite as disapproving as Wysteria's, but a bit uncertain. ]

I imagine that sort of thing costs him charm points?

Most assuredly. It is far too difficult to romance a man who refuses to leave his apartments. I certainly don't have the patience for it.

[Wysteria dunks her brush into the water, flicks the excess free with a now expert turn of the wrist, and then resumes scrubbing the definitely blood sigil on one of the walls.]

[ Athessa shrugs, fetching up her own brush with similar aplomb. ]

That's fair. I'm not romancing him, so it doesn't bother me too much.

[ Maud rolls up her sleeves and collects the third brush, nose wrinkling briefly as she begins to scrub and sees that they were not joking about it being blood on the wall. ]

That seems to have settled that question, then.

So it has. Which brings us [she says, leaning hard on the bristles of her brush to work out a particularly dark stain] to Enchanter Pavus. If I recall correctly, his first name is Dorian.

[Maud, you're really in it now.]

Oh, he's so handsome.

[ scrub scrub ]

[ Maud's head turns to observe the two of them sidelong both literally and in spirit. ]

Is this a list?

[Wysteria's staccato beat of scrub-scrub-scrub doesn't waiver. They don't yet know eachother quite well enough for her to recognize that look in just the tone of her voice.

(Don't worry, Maud; they'll get there.)]

A comprehensive one, yes. And I would agree with you, Athessa, but I cannot take the man seriously with that particular arrangement of facial hair. He should consider doing away with it.

[ Athessa scoffs, mildly incredulous. ]

Wh- But it's practically the same mustache as that Chevalier has!

[ Make up your mind, Wysteria! Is it a good mustache or isn't it? ]

Their mustaches are very similar in style, if I am thinking of the right men.

[ Maud digs in the front of the brush against a stubborn clump(? clot???) and makes sure to follow that suggestion about keeping her mouth shut. So she has to pause to ask ]

What is this list in aid of? Are you in search of a husband, Wysteria?

[They are completely different mustaches, is very much the look she slings in both their directions, utterly bewildered how anyone single person (much less two!) could make such a mistake.]

No. —Well yes, of course. At this rate, I think I shall die without being married. But no, the list is purely for our amusement. And to illustrate, perhaps, the truly dire straights of Riftwatch's ranks.

I will give you that many individuals in the Gallows are perfectly well in appearance, but as to the question of true eligibility? Well.

[Well.]

Proud to be numbered among the ineligible, [ Athessa says, amused, then returns to the topic of Wysteria's husband. ] I'm sure you could have your pick of husbands, even beyond our ranks.

Actually. [ Thoughtful, as she wets her brush again and works a stubborn clot out of the bristles. ] That might be a good way to gain influence that you can use in the war.

[ Maud remains politely silent in response to most of this, focus firmly on her scrubbing, putting her back into rubbing away some sort of ugly angular rune. ]

What would you require for true eligibility? [ she asks after a moment or two ] Perhaps knowing the criteria may suggest an answer.

[ Let's say that the arrangement of the area and the sound of the scrubbing makes it plausible for someone who's a relatively quiet walker (thanks, years of sneaking around Circles to get laid) to have come close enough still unnoticed to have overheard enough of the conversation for that person (Kostos) to have enough context to say: ]

A fucking enormous amount of patience.

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