[open] so what did I miss

[altusimperius]

WHO: Benedict and you
WHAT: he's been [redacted] as the ambassador to Antiva
WHEN: mid-Drakonis
WHERE: the Gallows
NOTES: (alan cumming voice) moarder

I. The Docks, the day of the Revered Mother's arrival (just one thread please)

When Benedict steps off the ferry, it's clear that something is happening. People are scurrying about, there's an edge of tension across the plaza; he'd heard, obviously, of Riftwatch's doings in Starkhaven, but whatever this is seems more immediate and quieter in its bluster.
Waving down the nearest passerby, he asks: "what's going on?"

II. Eating

If only there were more tools to keep one awake through the day. Benedict hadn't even noticed that his dreams had stopped when he went off to Antiva, but now that he's back in Kirkwall, they've returned en force. He sits in the staffed dining hall with whatever the day's meal option is, stirring it idly with a tired, dead-eyed stare at either the far wall, the middle distance, or someone at whom he'd normally have no intention of staring.
If the latter should occur, and they should meet his gaze, he gives a little start and averts his eyes-- but it might be too late.

III. At Work

For the last couple months, Byerly's office has been relatively unguarded; this is no longer the case. Anyone coming in to see the Ambassador will have to get through his secretary first-- or, should they like, they're welcome to visit the secretary himself. The Maker doesn't judge.


IV. Wildcard

for Byerly

The day he returns, Benedict saunters into the office and promptly leans against the doorframe, initially to scan for Byerly and then, upon seeing him, to offer a wave of greeting. He doesn't say anything, not yet, but his expression conveys everything: What A Trip.

Comments

[armd]

Abby sighs, long-suffering. "It's a dumb joke. I say something with 'updog' in it, you say what's updog. I say, nothing, what's up with you. You groan, we move on with our lives, blah blah blah."

Now she's embarrassed! She's going to be nosy to cover it up. "What diplomacy stuff were you doing. In Antiva."

[altusimperius]

"Wait," Benedict says, holding up his hand in a halting gesture-- she's not off the hook that easily. "What does any of that have to do with dogs?"

[armd]

No, let her go.

"Dunno," is the illuminating answer to that question, "It's... slang. Calling somebody your dawg is like saying they're your friend."

she will never be free

[altusimperius]

"Oh."

A long pause, and then he raises an eyebrow, leveling her with a wry look: "so you tried to trick me into calling you my friend?"

[armd]

She grimaces.

"I guess."

And returns to her food. What're you gonna do it about it, punk.

[altusimperius]

Be as obnoxious as possible, obviously. He rests his chin on the heel of one hand.

"So that's something you wanted."

He's smirking. It's not a mean smirk, but Benedict tends to look like a snob no matter what he's doing, so Abby's interpretation is up to fate.

[armd]

"I don't have to sit with you," she reminds him, giving him her best frown even though she knows he's not being an asshole. Actually, she feels kinda good about how this all shook out.

[altusimperius]

"You do, actually," he scoffs, folding his arms on the table in front of him to lean onto them, raising his eyebrows. "We gossip now." She established that herself.

[armd]

"Fine, fine."

They are definitely friends. Abby has a tiny smile threatening her biggest frown. She pushes her food around for a moment and says awkwardly, "Uh – sorry. For what I said at the end of that conversation."

Because it was obviously offensive to him.

[altusimperius]

The change in Benedict's posture suggests that he'd hoped this wouldn't come up; he looks a lot less certain all of a sudden, cagey, the picture of someone with a sore spot that's been poked.

"Look, it's fine," he mutters, keeping his voice low, "it's-- you didn't... it's complicated." Maker, he'll never get used to proper heart-to-hearts.

[armd]

"Yeah." Clearly.

Abby is fine to drop it. She immediately says, mouth full again, "I got the scar on my leg. By the way. It was from a burn."

[altusimperius]

Though it takes Benedict a moment to realize Abby is bringing the conversation back to where it was a while ago, he quickly catches on with a nod.

"That's no fun," he remarks, unsure of what else to say about a burn. Burns are terrible.

[armd]

"Yeah, I didn't have a good time." And, "Are you gonna tell me what you were doing in Antiva or not?"

Because you have been edging that through this entire conversation, dude.

[altusimperius]

He blinks at her, then furrows his brow as he looks down at the table. He didn't think he was taunting her with it, but that shows how much he knows.

"Someone tried to kill me," he mutters, "and I pushed him out a window." Might as well cut to the chase-- Matthias, at least, hadn't laughed at him.

[armd]

"Oh," Abby says, pausing with her fork half-way to her mouth, loaded up, "Fuck."

She knows full well that Benedict is capable and can look after himself, she knows he's strong, but she is realising that before now she hadn't considered him capable of... outright murder? After a moment of staring at him, she shrugs. Pops the food in her mouth.

"That's rough."

[altusimperius]

Somehow, Abby's reaction hits differently. Benedict had been steeling himself to hear some variation on 'killing people is part of what we do here', but when he doesn't, when Abby actually seems surprised and-- Maker forbid-- sympathetic, something in him crumbles.

"...yeah," he concedes, shoulders hunching, looking altogether unsure of himself. "I didn't mean to."
He should feel good about it, shouldn't he? His first kill by his own hand, for the cause. And yet.

[armd]

"Sounds like it was either him or you." Not that it makes it any easier to bear, but these are the facts of the matter. Abby looks at him again, thoughtfully this time. She's doing math in her head.

"S'this the first time?"

[altusimperius]

Benedict nods, silent for a long moment before speaking again.

"I mean-- people have tried to kill me before," he admits (well just look at him), "but it's the first time, um."
He traces a scratch in the table with his fingertip. "Killing them back."

[armd]

Abby nods.

"First time is weird."

She isn't thinking about the first time she killed an infected, because that isn't a decision. You're not deciding to take the life of somebody, it's... killing a monster to save somebody else, to save yourself. Humans are different.

"You okay?"

[altusimperius]

"Yeah," he says uncertainly, and stops his fidgeting to fold his hands instead, as if there were somebody just out of sight who snapped at him to be still.

"I wish it hadn't happened, I guess."

[armd]

"Mmnh," says Abby, understanding, but, "I don't."

To clarify, "I'm glad he died, and not you."

[altusimperius]

A little smile, despite everything. He doesn't look at her, not right away-- something about this hurts, plucks at a pain he isn't canny enough to identify in its totality.

One thing does spring to mind, however, and he confesses it in a low and abashed manner: "I don't... like getting close to Rifters, anymore." It's an apology as much as an acknowledgment of Abby's kindness, shame radiating from him for so openly baring a weakness.

[armd]

She hadn't been expecting this kind of response from him, and it makes her look up suddenly, affronted. Jaws on nothing, while she tries to figure out how to reply to that.

"... Do you have a limit on how many you make friends with or something?"

Her ears are red.

[altusimperius]

Immediately looking up to meet her gaze, Benedict winces.

"No--" he stammers, and has to make himself pause to collect a sensible answer. "It's just," and only now he realizes how this might sound, "...they tend to vanish."

Tapping his index fingers together, he furrows his brow. "Sorry."

[armd]

Yeah. They do. Abby frowns at him for a while longer and then sighs and looks down into her bowl instead. Hey, why is this so difficult? Maybe because it actually matters to her.

She says, "Before I came here, all of my friends died."

Same boat. Not that she's trying to one-up him, just let him know that, "I get it." It's hard to reach out.