faderift | semi-open | I'd rather be working for a paycheck

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semi-open | I'd rather be working for a paycheck

WHO: Krem and prior/current CR
WHAT: Krem is having a bad day and hiding away so that it doesn't become a Problem
WHEN: some time early Drakonis
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: Depression, hints of dysphoria, general malaise

Things had been going less than swimmingly, but that was nothing new. Infighting, outfighting, elsewhere-fighting, and here he was, feeling like twice-boiled hell.

The surgery was supposed to stop this shit, Maker-be-damned, but he still didn't feel like he fit in his own skin, and it made him want to hit something, and more than that, it made him want to disappear. Nobody would have to see him like this, if it happened. He wasn't doing anyone any damned good like this. Sure, he'd given himself a job, mending every last sheet, garment, curtain, that had been passed along to him, but all this quiet and time to himself wasn't giving him any peace. His own idiot feelings were gnawing away at him without the distraction, his hands on autopilot making neat little patches and seams in damaged cloth.

The feeling was more familiar than he'd ever admit. But he didn't want anyone to see him sitting here in his armor, his security blanket, glaring down at the sheet he was mending like he'd set it ablaze with his eyes if he could as he tried to ignore the pressure and sting of tears that he absolutely refused to let fall.

It's a bad day, and he doesn't want to make it any worse on himself just because he's having emotions. Those were for people that had the time and patience for them.

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Upon returning from Emprise one of the first things he had done was seek Krem out. Sam had been more than enthusiastic to see him again especially after all the things that had happened in that frozen hell, but it had been clear as soon as he had found Krem that something was off. He had kind of been hoping for a cheerful greeting and spending some time together, much like what had happened after Krem had returned from his trip, but it was clear that the man needed his space. Even though he agreed to that and smiled it still sent a bit of concern through the mage.

He kept busy during the following days after, mostly with finally going through with getting a spirit partner and getting used to it, as well as seeing to others. That certainly kept him occupied, but at a certain point the worry that he hadn't seen much of the Charger was getting to him. It was too similar to how things were back after Fallow Mire.

It's after much thought that Sam finally takes it upon himself to actually find where Krem has holed himself up. When he does he doesn't approach right away, watching from a distance, taking in how the man is back to wearing all his armor and looking at cloth like it was his enemy. After a while he eventually raps his knuckles against the wall. "Hey you."

For a moment, Krem wants to ignore the mage standing there looking at him like he's about to offer a hug. He doesn't want or need a hug. Go hug someone else, Sam.

Krem shifts in his seat on the stone floor of the lesser-traveled wing of Skyhold's barracks, still only half-repaired and mostly empty, not looking up at Sam for the moment.

"'m busy," he murmurs, his voice the slightest bit hoarse. The chill up here was doing him absolutely no favors. Maybe he could play off the congestion as an oncoming cold...

He could, but hugging someone else wasn't nearly as fun or nice. Course getting thrashed wasn't either, which it seemed like a good possibility of happening if he wasn't careful.

"I can see that," he comments, eyes gazing around at the different materials on the floor around Krem before settling on the man himself once more. The chill in the room and the hoarseness in Krem's voice certainly aren't helping alleviate the worry that's been building over the past several days.

"... Is everything alright?"

Hugging someone in full armor isn't a comfortable or easy thing to do though.

"If I say yes somehow I doubt you'll believe me and leave it at that," Krem sighs, finally looking up at Sam. He looks a good deal more tired than usual.

Probably not, but it was the thought that counts. Besides, it's not like Krem is wearing his helmet. There's that.

"Probably not," he agrees, his lips thinning a bit when Krem finally does look at him, noting the exhaustion. Sighing, Sam slowly makes his way over to where Krem is sitting, flopping down onto the floor next to him, though not so close as to take up Krem's personal space. Not yet at least.

"Did something happen?"

"No, Sam, it's just...I'm not...it's been a rough day," he finishes lamely, running his thumb over something that had been tucked against his palm as he worked. Like a coin, small and mostly smooth from friction. It's not something he'll be able to explain to Sam easily, and he's not exactly in the mood to try, either.

"Do... you want to talk about it?" It didn't seem likely that Krem did, but at least he could offer. "Or can I do something?" He's honestly hopeful that there is something he can do. Even if he cannot fix what ever it is, at least being there might help...? Course even though it's for Krem it's also him being a bit selfish, wanting to be close.

"Not particularly," he admits, picking some at one of the stitches. But he moves over just a bit as a silent invitation for Sam to at least sit so that he's not hovering in the doorway.

At seeing the movement, Sam takes the invitation to scoot over closer, enough so that their legs are touching and his arm bumps slightly into armor, but not so much that it's restricting Krem's movement for his stitching. His lips do thin out a bit as he glances sideways, clearly a bit annoyed by the amount of armor there was again - Krem why did you make wanting to lean his head difficult?

"How come you picked here of all the places to disappear off to?"

"It's quiet, and it's are that anyone else comes up here of their own volition," he replies, looking back down at the sheet in his lap and going back to slipping the needle into the fabric, putting a simple seam in the cloth instead of a rip that would only get bigger and harder to repair if it were left alone.

"Sorry for worrying you," Krem adds after a moment, his hands stilling once more.

At the apology, Sam sighs, turning his head a bit to regard Krem for a moment before lifting his hand and setting it on the back of the Krem's head, fingers lightly scratching at the short hair there. Seeing as he all the layers of armor on there wasn't much else in the regards to comfort he could give - not without getting poked by metal at least.

"You know you could come talk to me if something is bothering you. I'm here for that stuff, too."

"I know you are," Krem sighs in return, putting his sewing down and running his hand over his face. "I just don't want you to have to deal with this too. It's not something that's easy for me to explain."

"Nothing ever is," he mutters softly, but loud enough for Krem to hear, fingers still lightly rubbing along the back of his head. "I appreciate that you're looking out for me, but seeing you like this isn't very comforting. Just... get it off your chest.

Korrin hadn't seen Krem in a while. Between the mess that was -and still is- Emprise du Lion, Zevran's kidnapping, the tidal wave of suspicion against rifters for Sina's incident in Skyhold, it's been a busy several weeks. Granted, some small part of that is also due to the tension of their last meeting, about Iron Bull. Though it's not a subject she sees herself budging on, she was hoping some time to cool off would be good for both of them.

At last having the time and energy to seek him out, Korrin almost contacts Krem via sending crystal but then decides there isn't any real need. She knows where to find him more often than not, so that will take care of itself. It's not difficult to find him when he's saying put mending everything in sight, anyway. Upon spotting Krem at last, Korrin watches from the doorway for a moment, a growing frown of concern at his demeanor.

"Rough day?" Her words may be casual, but her tone can't conceal that underlying worry.

Krem stiffens when he hears her there. The way they'd just stopped talking after he'd run out of relevant things to say, he was sure that she'd just given up on being around him. He wouldn't have blamed her if that were the case, no matter how he might have missed her.

Now that she's here, he still can't think of anything to say to her, no matter how concerned she sounds.

"Could say that," he replied after a tense moment of silence. It's bigger than that, but he'd rather keep it simple for now.

For a moment, Korrin almost considers turning away...but it's a brief moment, since all this avoidance isn't really like her at all and she's tired of it. Maybe Krem is too, but if he isn't she'd rather find out head-on than than otherwise. Besides, she can't leave while he's like this, even if she doesn't know just how to help him.

"You've been staring at that like you're trying to become a mage and blow it up on the spot. If you really want help with that, all you have to do is ask. We could make a nice-sized bonfire with all the crap around us." Who the hell cares that plenty of this isn't his own? If it made Krem smile, it'd be worth it.

In spite of himself, the offer does make him smile. He looks back at her and snorts quietly, then folds the sheet over and puts it aside.

"If I weren't being paid to mend them I'd let you go ahead and torch it all." After all, what's better than fire for improving someone's mood?

"Damn. I would, too. But I guess I can save the bonfire for another time, if you really insist."

Korrin smiles back at him, glad to see his own however small or brief. "If you need to get out of here, I can join you if you'd like. I was hoping we could catch each other up, anyway." Maybe without drinks this time. She's more in the mood for moving around than sitting at the tavern, anyway.

"Maybe somewhere out on a mission. In the open so we could make it as big as we like."

He leans back some, looking up at Korrin as he props himself up on one arm. "Honestly, I don't know what I need right now. It'll go away in time on its own, always does. D'you have something in mind though?"

She hadn't had anything more firm in her mind than 'find Krem, but now that he brings it up, she gives it some thought.

"We could get out of Skyhold, go hunting. Being on the move might help more than staying put here. Or if we don't want to go that far, there's always the training ring. You were interested in seeing my spirit blade in action, right? Well, that's one way to do it."

"Hey."

Bull knew something was up. Krem liked to keep the stiff upper lip thing going, didn't want to give any reason to question. But when you live in close proximity to a spy, even the little tells were giveaways. And Krem wasn't exactly being subtle at the moment.

So here was his chief, pulling up a chair with a quiet scraping sound before settling into it backwards, one arm propped on the back of the chair and giving him a considering look. One that ought to have been familiar enough by now.

It made him groan before Bull even brought his chair over. This wasn't something he wanted to explain, even if Bull did have good advice to offer. Talking wasn't something he felt up to doing just now.

Still, the Chief wasn't just someone that you could simply ignore until he went away. He'd tried it before. It never worked.

"Don't worry, it's not affecting my duties," he offers without looking up from his work.

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