[OPEN] how many of Andraste’s body parts can I fit in one post

[dragoon_pride]

WHO: Kain Highwind and YOU… and a parrot with a dirty mouth
WHAT: Inappropriately timed swearing
WHEN: Nowish, and really anytime over the next few days
WHERE: Garden, Chapel, outside the castle, wherever!
NOTES: Just language, tons of cursing will be happening. Yes, Kain, this is a reward somehow.

1st encounter: Garden

Kain is still taking it sort of easy (at least where Korrin or Asher can potentially see him), so he’s just doing some light stretches in the garden. It’s early in the day yet and he hasn’t put all of his armor on... so he’s not even wearing a helmet at the moment. That’s when it shows up: a bright blue bird flying straight down toward him from the sky. The parrot helps himself to a spot right on Kain’s head, getting cozy in his hair.

“Hey! What do you think you’re doing!?”

Ugh... A little help de-tangling, please?

We meet again: Chapel (could be heard by passersby too!)

Though he doesn’t have any stake in this world’s religion, Kain is still curious. Gods can be demanding things, especially when they make you fight endless wars. What better way to see more of their gods than taking a glance in the chapel?

Unfortunately, as he’s standing there respectfully and quietly, the parrot decides to swoop in through an open door. It lands on Kain, who tries to shoo it off and away… no good. It’s there to stay.

Things are fine, until a squawking voice suddenly echoes through the meditative silence with, “Andraste’s ass! Andraste’s ass! ANDRATE’S FIRM LITTLE FLAMING ASS!!!”

Anyone who may have been there worshipping is... unfortunately out of luck for the moment.

The final straw: On the castle steps

“No, you must leave at once!” Kain declares, trying to dislodge the parrot from his arm where it’s taken hold.

“Sod off, nughumper!” The bird's reply is loud and clear and his tone much too sassy.

“Come on… go back to where you belong! Go home! This… isn’t… funny!”

“Suck it, arsehole! -squaaaawk squawksquawksquawk- suck my cock!”

Yes, yes this is indeed a grown man in armor having a heated argument with a parrot.

Wildcard

Just let me know if you want to have a run in with Kain and his new “friend” elsewhere! The bird will be following him everywhere.

Comments

[serannas]

"You could put a notice up on the bulletin board about it," she suggests, just as the bird shouts and takes flight. She ducks a little and lifts her hands over her head, relieved when the bird decides on the tree as its perch instead.

"I think I'd better abandon the garden before I become its next target."

[dragoon_pride]

Kain nods agreement, that's a really good idea. "The sooner I get a message out, the sooner the owner will surely appear to claim it." He keeps glancing warily toward the tree as well, prepared to duck and dart away at any sigh of motion, but the bird seems content... for now.

"Likewise. I've more important things to do than stand around all day with a bird on my head." It's time to go and armor up for a training session by now, and the sooner he escapes to do that, the better. He glances over toward her. "My thanks again... I'm Kain, by the way."

[serannas]

"I'm Ellana." She smiles and then shoots a wary look the bird's way as he does. "I'll see you around, hopefully without this bird following you." Not after all the hard work she did to get him off!

[dragoon_pride]

“It’s good to meet you, Ellana… although perhaps not under such circumstances.” Kain keeps on watching the bird, but at the moment, the blue terror is content to sing, which ends up being a mix of actual bird-sounding noise, with the occasional “Oh shit!!” thrown in at random. The result is… disconcerting. “Thank you again for the assistance… I’m sure we’ll meet again soon.”

Without the bird following him, yes. Kain is going to aim hard for this goal.