Got no credit and I got no fear

[arsebiscuit]

WHO: Sera Mai Bhalsych of Korse and OPEN
WHAT: Sera comes back to Skyhold
WHEN: Last few weeks of Drakonis
WHERE: All over Skyhold
NOTES: If you'd like a personalized starter or have any questions, feel free to contact me via PM or at thepenguinred

Herald's Rest

While her room's been mysteriously stolen by a mysterious shiteface, the tavern is still Sera's home in Skyhold. Drinking, playing cards, trying to avoid the weirdly intense gaze of the lady bard, Sera can be found doing them all now that she's finally back. As the night goes on the cheating becomes more flagrant and the stories louder, accompanied by wider and more dramatic arm flailing and occasional reenactments. Eventually, she tells the Tale Of The Time Cassandra Punched a Bear's Heart Out And It Got All Over The Herald's Clothes And I Laughed Then Shot Other Bears With Arrows. During her demonstration of the punch, she throws her hand back a little too hard and fast, hitting someone or knocking a drink over. But dealing with that has to wait until the story's done.

Out and About

Sera hadn't spent much time in the old fortress since she'd had to go off on Very Important Jenny Business (Possibly Involving Fire Ants and Honey), so it's time to get to know the place by the back of her hand again before starting up her services to the local community. Every hidden passage and unlocked (and unoccupied locked) room gets poked and prodded as the week goes on. All expect for one very specific room where she knows Creepy Cole likes to linger in, like some stupid ghost of the attic. Unless there's a juicy conversation to be overheard, she doesn't bother with stealth, just walking in and up to anything and anyone that strikes her. Anyone looking particularly servant-like will be getting chatted up whether the like it or not, along with most everyone else she comes across.

Comments

[arsebiscuit]

"Tch, his nips have enough muscle in them to put an eye out. What'd you think happened to his?"

And there was ale. She took a swig, managing to now choke on it despite still giggling as it went down.

"But your type, huh?"

[ombranera]

"I do not know if he is quite that flexible." But the mental image? Mmm. He lost a moment or two considering the idea of a bendy Bull before answering.

"Almost everyone is my type. Were I yours, you would be as well." But he was not and as such, he merely taps their glasses together rather than flirt. "Remind me to introduce you to Isabela later. I think you would get along quite well and she is your type. Gorgeous and fun with marvelous breasts."

[arsebiscuit]

"Big bed?"

She waggled her eyebrows- or tried to. It was lost with the image of Bull being flexible enough for that. Maybe if he had a pointy cock instead-

And she needs to gasp for air after that mental image.

[ombranera]

"Huge." They were speaking of only beds, yes? Yes. Or perhaps not by the way she chortled. "Dare I ask- or shall I assume it was something ridiculous and join in?"

[arsebiscuit]

"Oh, bed partners. All sorts of mad combinations there. Pointy dick, ha."

The last part is more muttered into her drink than anything, make of it what you will.

"But I'll keep my own eye out for your friend. And her huge...bits."

[ombranera]

"I-" He coughs, clears his throat, and tries to lose the mental image.

No, no, it is stuck "You- You are a terrible woman with a very strange mind. Suddenly I have a deep understanding for how others that speak to me must feel. Or those that speak to Isabela- You definitely will get along well with her."

[arsebiscuit]

There's nothing for it now, her most recent sip of ale very much threatening to come out of her nose.

"Oh- ow! Friggin shite-" calm down...soon. It takes a moment. "Ha, no fault of mine you can picture it, eh? Maybe you can tell me: how's he and elves even work, eh? He's so...Bull. You're more like a chicken next to that."

[ombranera]

"I can picture it because I have seen such a thing before. There was an Antivan noble who had a particular desire to be 'hygienic'. Something with the cutting and stitching of the foreskin, it was in fashion for a few years before everyone decided it was bullshit. Something went wrong or went right and-" He gestures, stroking a cock, wide at the base- tiny at the tip. "Like a carrot!"

That poor man. Zevran felt like putting him out of his misery was more a benefit to the man than anyone else.

"Me and bull? Oil, patience, and a lot of stretching. And a lot of lying around the next day feeling bruised all over."

[arsebiscuit]

"Ugh! Friggin nobles, always that, innit. Think they'd bread themselves with enough time...'cept for all the bastards the leave lying 'round in the gutter for in case."

Carrot shaped. She believes it. But she smiles, a little more softly, at all the Bull talk. Of course.

"Knew he was a big softie in the end."

[ombranera]

"Meet one and you have, more or less, met them all. The exceptions are more surprising than those that follow the pattern. Yes you are important, yes you are rich, but if cut? They bleed as red as anyone else." He shrugs.

"Bull is, to quote a friend, 'good people.' He is incredibly decent and a fair departure from the last Qunari I knew."

[arsebiscuit]

"Been up in Qun land?"

One of the few areas Sera herself had never ventured towards. The 'vints and their wars could take care of themselves. Too much magic and chains for her liking.

[ombranera]

"Ah? No. But I did travel with a Sten a decade ago during the fifth blight." The Sten. Now an Arishok, apparently. They are all of them moving up in the world, it seems.

[arsebiscuit]

"You mixed up in that mess? And still come running to this one? Hit your head or something?"

She'd been in Denerim when the 'end' came to that shit. Not sure she'd run back into the next end of the world when it came calling.

[ombranera]

"I like the world being in one piece as I happen to live here. No one else seems to be doing anything to prevent it's destruction. Why not come?" To hide from Crows, to mind Leliana, to make a dead woman proud-

No, just to keep the world intact.

[arsebiscuit]

"Well, sure. That's right," it was hard to argue with that, considering it was her own reasoning as well. No point doing anything if the room was going to be gone soon. "But...keep breaking itself, don't it? Gonna be limping along behind the banners when you're all wrinkled and smelly?"

[ombranera]

"That is assuming I live long enough to become wrinkled and smelly." Death happens, or so they say. It happens more often when he is about- and when the world is ending? It happens a lot. He's due his turn at the end of that knife. "Depending on how this goes and should I live to see the end of it? I hope to retire to a villa in Rivain."

[arsebiscuit]

"Don't have any Jenny's up there just now. If you'd be needing some hobbies when the world's done falling to bits."

Elf with money would always get a bit of a look. So no concerns that he'd find anyone that had something coming fast enough.

[ombranera]

"If what I remember what you and your friends do correctly, I think I can keep an eye out." A network of little people punching up against those that punch down. He can help. "It'd be boring if I did not stir a little trouble, after all."

[arsebiscuit]

"No point in sticking around without it. Might be what's wrong with all those noble types. Too much time sitting on their arses, have to come up with new stupid shit to hurt people with to pass the time."

Even if the Inquisition went tits up, at least she was making Friends.

[ombranera]

"If it were deliberately malicious I would believe that- the worst of it is when they do the hurting but don't care that it happens as a side effect of them attempting another move in their Grand Game or personal politics. The ones that actually consider ways to hurt people seem the most kind on the surface." And are the worst under that painted skin.

[arsebiscuit]

"Assholes."

Definitive statement. He was right, though. More often than not it was just the uppers not thinking how their this and that dripped down to the real people below. Which was unforgivable. Meant they didn't even see people as people, just objects owned like the stones in their castles.

"But ain't so bad here, is it. All types. Hate each other, sure. But that's people for you, innit. Still doing something good."

[ombranera]

"You would be surprised what can be done with a group that does not entirely agree with one another. During the fifth blight- well. There were many disagreements among the Warden and his merry band of misfits. Several over whether or not i ought to be allowed to join them I know of for certain." He shrugs. "But it can still work. Occasionally having so many points of view can offer perspectives that are valuable. And...sometimes it only ends in shouting and no work done."

[arsebiscuit]

"Oh- huh. I thought everyone with the hero died. Or he died. Or was it a she?"

Shrug. Sorry, Zev. Zero respect for ancient history here.

"Plenty of death went around back then. Hard to keep up with it all when you've wee enough you hardly had your numbers straight."

[ombranera]

"Normally that is the case. The Hero always dies. or...the amusing sidekick. That is how the stories go. But no, somehow we all miraculously survived." Through sheer luck if nothing else. "He. Jonas Cousland, now King of Ferelden. Well...missing king. I have no idea where he has wandered off to and it's been some time since he's responded to my letters."

The liklihood of the man doing something foolish and dying is-

Well it is par the course, truly.

"Ugh, do not say that. You will make me feel old."

[arsebiscuit]

"Can't help facts. But you've still got some looks 'bout you. If you're into that kinda thing. Still. Sounds right enough, him living. Just whole nation got too sad after. No point punching up when the nobles' houses are just as on fire as the rest of us. Time for me to go. Figures he run off too, though. Heroes, yeah?"

There for the glory, gone for when the bill came due.