faderift | (no subject)

(no subject)

WHO: Cyril and Sam
WHAT: Cy doesn't know about Sam's dog form. He thinks he's talking to a stray about something he hasn't shared with anyone.
WHEN: Um, sometime? That fits in? With everything going on... /whistles.
WHERE: Just outside of Skyhold
NOTES: Cy is dumb. Also this gets to be very NSFW towards the end.

Cyril had been pulled away from his stall in the courtyard to help some pilgrims who's cart broke on the road up here. It had broken his routine and gotten him outside of the castle. After everything was settled and the pilgrims were safe inside the walls, he had lingered outside.

He was starting to forget how much he enjoyed not being surrounded by crafted stone. Out here it was cold, and there was snow, and mountains, but he was alone and not cooped up.

He found a nice place that got some decent sunlight and sat. Now that he was completely by himself he pulled a silver ring from deep within his pocket and examined it, turning it over in his hands. This ring had belonged to Sam. Cyril had slipped it off his finger the first night they had met. Usually he'd sell such a thing, but he had kept this one and hadn't told anyone he had it.

Not even Merrick knew about it. Now that he thought no one could see him he could take it out and enjoy the shape of it.

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Cyril keeps his hand outstretched for a while longer and then pulls it back once it's clear that Sam isn't going to take it. He honestly feels relieved to still have it and the ring disappears into his pocket where it had been most of the time since the night they had met. After a moment he considers the question and tries to word things well.

He still feels like the world is rushing around him, like his head and heart are too full and too large, but he manages to talk. Sam deserves to talk.

"You..." he starts, and then stops. "You deserve happiness, Sam. I mean it when I say that. You're beautiful, and thoughtful, and so sincere. You try to make everyone around you feel at ease. You strive to make the world better in any way that you can. You deserve someone who can be as devoted you as they are to anything. You deserve a lover who can be tied to you and who will never stray or look elsewhere." A pause. He had thought that Sam had had that and it had been a heartbreaking relief. "I can't do that. I'm not that sort of man. If I had tried to be with you, I would have ended up breaking your heart in two. I don't know if I could have lived with that."

He stays facing Cyril as he talks, though at times his eyes to move to look at nothing in particular, still intently listening but also in thought.

"So you're saying that... since you cannot be tied down that means you couldn't be a devoted lover? And I couldn't be happy because of that?" It certainly had been nice when he had found someone to have that kind of relationship Cyril was speaking about - even if it had been short - but he didn't find himself any less happy with one he had now. It wasn't a Relationship, they were free to be with other people, but he wouldn't say James wasn't a devoted lover because of it.

Maybe that's why he can understand where Cyril was coming from, but equally confused by it. "... Are you happy? So far you've been saying about me, but I don't see myself as unhappy." Well maybe now considering he was hearing about this.

Cyril seems a little surprised by that question and then he covers up that emotion with a shrug. "I have moments of happiness," he responds after a bit of thought. "I enjoy being with you, for instance." Maybe not right this moment when he felt embarrassed and exposed, but in general Sam did make him feel happy, or at least content.

"I'm not certain that anything will make me feel happy forever."

"If you enjoy with me then why can't you be with me?" There's a pause before Sam sighs once more and purses his lips, brows scrunching in thought, figuring how to make that a bit more clear. Cyril already told him 'why', but the reasoning had been at the beginning and they've both changed some since then.

If this had been some other secret, Sam could have easily just up and walked away to give Cyril his space, he could tell Cyril wasn't exactly comfortable right now - a bit too stiff even if his whole manner was calm. This though? It was hard to just walk away. Pretending he didn't hear would have driven him nuts. Getting up and walking away now... that would certainly do damage.

"I'm not trying to push you into anything, Cyril. I'm just well aware of taking happiness where you can get it. I l- really like being with you, and I don't see why you wanting to be with others as well has to stop that from happening."

Cyril's eyes narrowed a bit as Sam spoke. For a moment, he thought he ought to check that this was a dream or something else like that. The whole event felt so weird and distant, like he was watching it from somewhere else instead of inside his own skin.

He looked down at the snow and slid his foot over it for a moment, making a streak to give himself something to do. "If you're all right with that then don't see any reason why that would stop us..." he says, finally. His voice is more thoughtful than serious. He still wasn't sure this was real.

Well things were certainly odd and unusual, he hadn't expected today to go in this direction in the slightest. Sam is quiet for a time, watching as Cyril looks at him then to the snow, listening to it shift with his movements.

The tone of Cyril's voice has him turning slightly more in his spot to look at him better. "You don't sound quite that sure," he says a bit teasingly, trying to smile just a bit, feeling just as awkward with all this. "Think that might be a first."

Cyril looks up from the snow and for a moment his face seems like he's a little terrified, but he reigns it in, gets control again. He still feels so removed, like he's in a daze.

"I am never really sure of myself when I'm with you," he admits after a moment. Maybe that distance does help him say it a bit more honestly. "I just put on a smile and pretend I know what I'm doing."

The fact that Cyril was keeping his distance rather then be next to him like he normally did, Sam doesn't try to get up and get closer, afraid that it might actually send the elf into a fit or even run off. It's a strange feeling considering Cyril normally seemed so comfortable with him.

The comments do get him to smile ever so slightly though, a bit amused by the answers, haven't thought that he would be capable of doing that to someone. "Sounds like the opposite of what I do. Just smile and say I have no idea what I'm doing." There's a moment that Sam makes a face, thinking on that a bit more. "Well perhaps except for healing." Course there were times where he didn't know, but for the most part he was fine.

Cyril smiles a bit at that. "A good thing, considering how many lives you have in your hands..." Then he trails off and lets the silence settle over them for a moment.

Finally, he takes a deep breath, "What do you want?" he asks. "With me, I mean?"

All those lives. Yeah, no pressure or anything, right? Course he only thinks that, the amusement dying off rather quick again.

The question that breaks the silence has Sam blinking. That's a... fair question, that and he's been asking Cyril plenty during this time, but even so it's not an easy one. Several times he starts to say something then stops, eventually just shutting his mouth and scratching the back of his neck as he normally did when a bit stressed.

After a moment Sam grunts, pushing himself up from where he's sitting, and turns to look at Cyril fully, though doesn't get closer. "I want- You're a very important person to me, Cyril, so what I want is that you don't just disappear in my life. I want to be with you, but only with what you're comfortable with. I wouldn't mind... more then what we have right now, but I aslo just enjoy being around you, so I guess I'm not asking for much."

Cyril is quiet for a while before he finally moves closer to Sam. He can't bring himself to say that's what he wants too, not in so many words at least, even though every bit of who is does. Slowly, he reaches out and takes Sam's hand, the movement tentative in case Sam wants to pull his hand back.

"You truly are a treasure Samouel Gareth," he says softly. "I don't want you to disappear either."

That's really as close as he could get, it was something wasn't it? Even more with the offer for touch and closeness.

Sam lets Cyril move at his own pace, watching with interest when he starts to move closer. At the tentative touch he smiles lightly, moving his fingers so that they can softly grip Cyril's hand, making sure that it was loose enough in case he needed to pull back as well.

"What you remembered my full name as well?" He's more teasing then surprised, but even so he was used to people not even using it - save maybe Burns.

After a time of holding though, Sam raises both his brows and looks at Cyril curiously. "So really, if you found a stray dog you're going to try and dump it on me?" He's only teasing, but still.

Cyril chuckles a bit. "I was already thinking about you and you were the first person to come to mind," he says, teasing a bit. He shifts a little closer and nudges Sam gently with his arm.

"At least it would be a good excuse to come see you. I have to think of those so I don't seem creepy."

"Yeah well, Nikita and Leonard would probably hate you for bringing a giant beast into their lair." The kittens - not so much kittens anymore actually - pretty much owned the loft by now. Nikita might be alright, but Leonard would certainly not have it more than likely.

"You don't need an excuse to come see me, Cyril. I always enjoy your company." He didn't think it was creepy if he wanted to be around. Course there was a time and place if he was busy with work, but still. It seems that the awkwardness was ebbing just a bit seeing as they were slowly easing back into teasing and jokes.

Cyril's smile softened a bit, turning into something a little more genuine. He was probably still panicking a bit over this whole thing, but it was easier to ignore while Sam was being so cute and reassuring.

"And now? Do you want to see more of me?"

Quite honestly he's quite the mess himself, mind doing tumbles all over the place, he's just well practiced with staying calm under fire. Certainly later he'll probably be laying somewhere in a daze - probably with a cat trying to get his attention.

"I can always go for seeing more of you." He doesn't know why Cyril is specifically asking about 'now'. Hadn't he already said he would enjoy it if he came around more?

Cyril smiles a bit and then moves a little closer, breaking into Sam's personal space but in a smooth sort of way that allows Sam to push him away if needed. "How much of me?" he asks. "Would you like to see?" This flirting is a little more serious than the light hearted compliment he's paid Sam almost every day.

The personal space isn't much of an issue, the fact that Cyril is drawing closer rather then keeping distance probably meant he was feeling more comfortable?

Sam recognizes the tone, realizing that Cyril was indeed flirting, which certainly changes the context in which he's been understanding the questions. Oh. Finally catching up to where Cyril is going with all this, Sam clears his throat, a hand going to the back of his neck as a faint flush comes to his cheeks - no luck in curbing that at all, especially not with Cyril.

"All of you?" It sounded more confident in his head - and more of a statement then a question - but in actually saying the words his voice is a bit softer. Not that he lacked confidence at this point about such things anymore, but rather it took time for him to feel out what was acceptable or wanted before he was bolder.

Cyril smiles at the answer, even if Sam seems unsure. It was at least confirmation, and one that was easier to respond to than talking about all of the emotions tied up in their wanting each other.

"I want to see all of you too," he responds after a moment. There's more seriousness to his tone now, but there's still that flirtation. He needs that in order to feel like he has control. "I've wanted to see all of you for a long time." Slowly, he wrapped an arm around Sam's arm, looping them together. "I didn't try because I thought I'd hurt you, but you're saying that I won't. If you're sure, we should start looking at each other."

They're talking about more than just looking, of course, even more than just sex, but framing it this way is the closest that Cyril can get to honestly telling Sam how much he wants to be with him.

Sam is used to Cyril being close, what with all the times he's come over to just cuddle or just be around, and he's used to the flirting, but right now it is certainly different. Probably for the fact that Cyril is truly directing his wants at him rather then just teasing.

A tongue pokes out to wet his lips slightly. "Have to say I've thought about it. A few times." More than a few times. More then thought about it, but no one is being completely honest here, right? It's Sam's turn to suddenly feel like he's wandering through a dream, which he's sure it is not - he'll be in trouble if this was.

"I'd like that."

Cyril feels as if his heart is in his throat. It's so odd to feel so nervous about something like this. Usually he's able to just dive in without worrying, but with Sam it's different. Everything feels so different with him.

It's even different than how things feel with Taas. There's still the same warmth throughout his body and the oddly pleasing ache in his chest, but with Taas it's like cozing up with a warm blanket, with Sam it's a little like trying to reach for something you aren't sure you deserve.

It's strange how everyone acts as if you can only have those deep, warm feelings for one person at a time, and yet Cyril can't imagine his life without either of them now.

To prove it he turns a bit so that he's facing Sam and then presses up. The kiss he gives the human is gentle, sweet, not at all the heated desperate taste he gave Sam when their first met. It's deliberate and meaningful.

The motion has Sam holding his breath for a moment, waiting to see if he was just being hopeful and imagining things, or if this was really happening. The pressure leaning against him for support and the way Cyril lifts up a bit to reach him is enough for him to lean down a bit to make it slightly easier.

Kissing this time wasn't hurried, and while he's learned to enjoy the pressure and force behind a fevered kiss, he rather enjoys kisses like this. Perhaps it's just him, liking to feel the moment, but in any case it has the corners of his lips pulling upwards, trying his best not to break into a huge smile in the middle of kissing. It's honestly a bit hard for him considering the happiness is literally spreading through him.

Because he can feel Sam's smile against his lips, Cyril can't help but respond. Then they're both smiling instead of kissing and it becomes rather awkward. Rather than feel embarrassed, though, Cyril starts chuckling. The chuckling turns into laughter.

The sound isn't making fun of Sam, of course, it's one of pure joy.

He's heard Cyril chuckle before, but he hasn't quite heard the elf laugh, at least not like this. It's infectious and Sam cannot help but start laughing as well, though softer and more restrained since he is trying to watch this.

"Sorry," he finally says, not at all apologetic for smiling, but he was sorry about ending such a nice kiss. "Ah... so, what were you doing out here on your own?" Before he interrupted with being a dog and listening to secrets that is.

Cyril doesn't seem to mind that they had to end the kiss either. He just shakes away the apology and rests a hand on Sam's arm. It's silly that he suddenly feels so much lighter.

There's more than just happiness here, there's relief that Sam hasn't run away. Even after he had felt so tight and ready to run himself after being discovered, now that it's resolved and in a good way he feels like he's walking on clouds.

"Oh," he says as he thinks over the question. "Well, sometimes I scout the mountain to make sure the passes are all clear but then I take the time alone. No one knows I have your ring. I was trying to keep it that way."

There's really no need to lie now, so he doesn't. It's still strange talking about it aloud.