Open | If you forget, is it like it never happened?

[killedwithlove]

WHO: Cole and anyone who needs or wants him
WHAT: Cole's back. If he ever left. Who really knows?
WHEN: Now until end of February.
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: If you want a personal starter, drop me a PM or find me at jemisard

Those sensitive to such things might notice that Cole is back. He's hard to remember at the best of times, and after such a long period, Cole himself expects virtually no one to remember who he is or that he's allowed to be here.

But it doesn't stop him doing what he does. Moving about, helping those he can.

Comments

[not_the_question]

The Doctor smirks. "You're lucky it's just one inside voice. I hear billions."

Well, billions upon billions now that Gallifrey is back in his universe. He offered a slight frown. He can't sense them now.... Not that he's going to test it in front of this creature.

"You shouldn't be able to hear much now. Usually around humans, I don't have to have my defences as high."

But he's glad to hear the Shard helps with it. Maybe he can learn how to harness it's power.

[killedwithlove]

"I don't know what billions is. And I'm not human. But I have an inside voice and an outside voice now. Not like before."

He doesn't know what he is but he knows what he's not. Not human. Not mortal.

[not_the_question]

Okay. That was a strange way to describe oneself.

"Okay... What were the voices like before?"

Because, that's still the most important part to the Doctor. He needed to know how best to protect his mind in this place.

[killedwithlove]

"One voice. Inside-outside self speaks and thinks and is. Mortals are different. Flesh wraps around them and their inside voice and outside voice aren't the same. " He sways on the spot to music that only he hears.

"Now I'm here. And it's different."

[not_the_question]

"Right. Okay. Well, 'different' it is."

The Doctor has no idea what to do now. This is a very strange creature, indeed.

"But if you want to talk immortals compared to mortals, I know several immortals who have flesh."

[killedwithlove]

Cole stares at the Doctor. It's pretty clear that 'immortal' doesn't really mean much to him. "No, not mortal or immortal. Mortal or spirit."

[not_the_question]

He nods. Okay that makes more sense. "Well, I've only met spirits once and even those were just electromagnetic projections. The rest were all aliens..."

Time and Space travel means he's experienced a lot, but not everything.

[killedwithlove]

"Twice."

Because he was more spirit than not.

[not_the_question]

"Well, I understand why you'd say that, but I'll retain my own judgement."

Because that's what he likes to do.

[killedwithlove]

"Okay."

He's agreeing without understanding. He doesn't understand why he'd retain his own judgement on it.

"If that makes you happy."

[not_the_question]

"Well, little makes me happy these days. But it's better than anyone else trying to tell me what my judgement should be."

Which is about all he has to say about happiness.

[killedwithlove]

Cole gets a brief flash of something that would make him happy, a woman, brilliant blue and holding him in her, running away together...

He doesn't understand it. So he stays silent about it.

"What sort of spirits were they? Wrath? Despair? Wisdom?"

[not_the_question]

He considers his answer for some moments. "Slavery."

It was the best description. That's what the Fisherking had done to them. Ripped their souls and turned them into nothing more than a message in a bottle. A beacon. He has another thought.

"With just a hint of being murdery."

[killedwithlove]

"... that doesn't sound like a spirit. That sounds like a thing mortals do.... oh. Murdery. They were Wrath?"

Cole understands what spirits are. In Thedas. And trying to understand anything else while he can't simply read it off someone is very difficult for him.

[not_the_question]

"Wrath is a good way to put it. But it wasn't their own wrath they expressed. It was someone else's."

It wasn't easy for the Doctor to explain because it was a very odd situation to begin with.

[killedwithlove]

Wrath never expressed its own wrath, but Cole's realising that the Doctor really doesn't understand spirits. That's okay. Most people don't.

"Okay."

[not_the_question]

Well, that's not surprising since spirits, like magic, don't really exist in the Doctor's frame of reference.

"Not really the talkative sort, are you?"

[killedwithlove]

Cole shakes his head.

"For a long time, no one could see or hear me, so I just didn't say anything."

[not_the_question]

The Doctor snaps his finger and points at Cole. "That explains it!"

He taps the side of his head. "Why you feel like you do... But why? Why couldn't people see or hear your?"

Because, that's the interesting bit.

[killedwithlove]

"I don't know."

He sort of got it. That Cole had been forgotten and invisible, so Cole was too. But he didn't really understand.

"Most people still don't notice me."

[not_the_question]

The Doctor's features fall at the mention of that last bit.

"Must be very lonely..."

[killedwithlove]

"It was. But now I can help people. They don't remember me, but I still help. That's what matters. And I can be seen sometimes. That's good, too."

[not_the_question]

"Well, I can see you. Though, probably because my brain is used to these other creatures..."

Which might give Cole some staying power within the Doctor's mind. Or not. The Doctor's mind is a very strange place.

[killedwithlove]

Cole shrugs.

"Sometimes people do. Usually when they need me. But some people see me anyway. Rhys did. Solas does."

[not_the_question]

"So it's an inconsistent power. Interesting."