Cannot Find The Words

[el_tybs]

WHO: Samouel Gareth and ANYONE
WHAT: A lots happened since the Fallow Mire. Sam reflects and keeps busy before getting shipped out again.
WHEN: Between returning from Fallow Mire and leaving for War Table operations
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: Just the usual.

{Magic Lessons - Before/During/After}
Even though Fallow Mire had been trying, it doesn't mean that he can just take a break from his lessons. Sam is progressing with his Spirit magic with the help of Lady LeBlanc, as well as learning to control Ice spells to a point, though having difficulty. He's also trying to get the grasp on Storm magic with the help of Roul.


{The Armory}
With the new shipment of ores from the Fallow Mire there have been numerous orders for armor and weapons. Seeing as his sparring lessons with Krem have been put on hold for now for... reaons, he spends most late afternoons/early evenings helping with the forges.


{The Library}
He's still having issues falling asleep since the bog so Sam spends a good amount of time in the library in the evenings. That's not the only thing keeping him up. There are a number of crumpled up papers on the floor as he tries to figure out what to say in a letter.


{Wildcard}

Comments

[el_tybs]

He gives a long sigh at that, chewing the inside of his cheek lightly in thought. "I honestly cannot say you're making it better or worse, Pel. But you cannot be there next to him all the time."

[mythalenaste]

"I used to be. Except when he spent days on the hunt, I was always so close to him. Now the Inquisition can send us anywhere and there's nothing I can do about it."

The more she speaks of this, the tenser she grows, and her chest is tighter and tighter. Her breaths are quiet and shallow and she leans against the wall, head bowed, trying to collect herself.

[el_tybs]

The point of this walk was to stretch their legs and clear their heads, but it seems that this was going down a completely different direction.

At feeling Pel lean away from him to hold herself up against the wall, Sam panics just a bit, worried that she's going to collapse or something. "Whoa, hey..." He knows close to nothing about any of the Ashara, but for Pel to react like this then something must have happened, though bringing it up probably would have this worse. And considering other interactions he's pretty sure a solid 'not your business' or something 'shem' related would come up.

"Hey... hey, it's going to be alright. Merrick's pretty tough." That was for sure. "And he'll be with others in the Inquisition... we can be there to watch him for you."

[mythalenaste]

She shakes her head, because none of that is a comfort. It's completely selfish, wishing she could be irreplaceable in Merrick's life, but she'd like to be irreplaceable in someone's. Struggling with what she needs and what Merrick needs and knowing she has to do what Merrick needs...it presses against old bruises, things that have never been left alone long enough to heal.

"Do you think I'm dangerous to him?" She drags the subject back to what it was: asking Sam's professional opinion about something.

[el_tybs]

The question is so sudden and blunt, that it has Sam reeling for a moment, but he's not entirely surprised since it is so like Pel to do so. It's straight forward, but not at all that simple to answer.

Something that he asked himself everyday really.

Letting out a long exhale, he gives Pel the most reassuring smile he can give with this kind of topic. "Probably as dangerous I am to Krem. I don't think you're a danger to him, Pel. There are dangerous things we deal with, but that's different."

[mythalenaste]

Pel nods. She lifts her chin, breathing deeply.

"Thank you for listening. Mythal'enaste, I couldn't begin to explain me and Merrick."

[el_tybs]

"Mythal... enaste?" he asks curiously, still not familiar with much Dalish. "I'm always around if you need to talk. Well... normally. They're sending me back out soon. With Merrick now that I think about it."

[mythalenaste]

She nods. After a beat, she seems to come back to life a bit.

"Mythal'enaste is a sort of swear. It translates to 'Mythal's will,' and it's sort of like an Andrastian saying...something about the Maker. 'Maker's mercy' or something, I think I've heard."

[el_tybs]

"Probably thinking 'Maker's breath' or 'Maker preserve me/us'," he offers with a chuckle. "Do you... feel better?"

[mythalenaste]

"Yes. I just...needed a mage's opinion. A different kind of mage, the sort I don't always agree with."

[el_tybs]

The sort she doesn't always agree with? He raises his brows at that before his brow furrows in confusion. "The kind that's from the Circle, or the kind that's a Human?"

[mythalenaste]

"From a Circle." She peers at him. "Salem and I weren't raised together. I don't share his opinions about humans."

[el_tybs]

"I wasn't referring to that, but that's good to know." Well at least he wasn't the only one noticing how loud Salem is about the human thing. "The Circle is a Human concept, as are a lot of views on magic which are obviously different from the Dalish. I was just making sure if you were referring to that concept in particular or just the views on magic in general."

[mythalenaste]

"It's not race that does that, though. It's your culture. Elves aplenty follow your ways, and from what I understand, a good many of them are in charge of Circles. They live a posh life and want for nothing. They still don't have any right to tell me or mine we're doing things wrong."

A beat.

"And you might be surprised by this, but I revere Andraste. I don't worship her, but I honor her. She was right about a lot of things about magic, and she was an ally to the People. One of the greatest allies we've ever had."

[el_tybs]

She had a point. It was more a culture thing then a race thing.

The bit about Andraste does surprise him a bit, but from the explanation it isn't such a hard thing to understand. "I suppose she was. I can only imagine what she would... or does think of the world now under her name."

[mythalenaste]

"Her followers leveraged her name to take away the land she promised to the elves. She'd be furious. I also imagine she'd be a little unnerved to be worshiped as much as your Maker. But I think she should be honored, maybe more than she would be comfortable with, and Shartan as well. I don't know exactly what she did that he didn't also do, besides write down a lot of sound philosophy."

[el_tybs]

"History and people have a way of changing things to fit what they want. There's probably a lot that Andraste intended and didn't happen, or changed." So many things made sense in theory, but the execution just didn't quite make it.

"Makes you wonder how the Inquisition will be remembered down the line."

[mythalenaste]

"Depends on what the Inquisition does. And, much as I dislike it, who becomes the next Divine."

[el_tybs]

"True, though it sounds like that is something we don't need to immediately worry about. We've got enough to worry about then to play more politics."

[mythalenaste]

"I was just answering your--" Elgar'nan, what has her so on edge lately? Merrick and the Council, probably. Culture shock seems to be setting in deeper with time, rather than fading away. "Sorry. Didn't mean to argue."

[el_tybs]

Sam tilts his head. "You don't have to be sorry. I didn't see it as being an argument, rather just us having a discussion." Had they been arguing?

[mythalenaste]

"No, I was starting to argue. You asked me how I thought the Inquisition would be remembered, then told me not to worry about it. Is that a thing in the city? You're asking, but not really asking?"

Genuine concern and naivety here.

[el_tybs]

Sam blinks. He had- oh. "No, I wasn't telling you not to worry about it. I was-" Ah jeez this was complicated; how did he explain this? "You were answering the question. I agree a lot of what we do will be determined by who gets chosen as the Divine; history and anything we currently do. I was just commenting that the Inquisition as a whole already has enough to consider when we make any move."

[mythalenaste]

"Oh. I agree, then. We can't project future politics and act accordingly."

[el_tybs]

"Speaking of politics, how are you doing on the council? Is everyone treating you fairly?"