OPEN

[sulahnan]

WHO: Athessa and YOU!
WHAT: Catch-all because I need to stop exclusively inboxing
WHEN: Whenever but mostly now-ish, post-dream meme
WHERE: Around, Kirkwall and the Gallows, maybe in the field who knows
NOTES: NSFW threads will be marked and/or moved to my NSFW inbox, CW as needed, blah blah blah

Specific starters in the comments!

Comments

[bouchonne]

He stares at her a long minute. Then he looks away. His hand comes up to rub at his lip. He looks - uncomfortable.

"Fine," he says, his voice rather low. "It's fine. You're - forgiven."

[sulahnan]

It's tempting to ask if he's sure, offer to do more, but instead she looks down at the floor. At the wine bottle she knocked off the desk she's currently parked on. She should apologize for that, too. Or at least clean it up.

But that also seems like it'd just prolong this uncomfortable situation, so she leans back on her hands quite casually and nods.

"Cool. Because I still plan on seducing your wife and I'd hate for you to be mad at me for anything other than that when it happens."

[bouchonne]

That's cheeky enough that it startles him. Against his will, he snorts, and looks back over at her, eyebrow raised. And even though there's some lingering soreness around the subject, he can't help but answer -

"Shall I have to challenge you to a duel? I can do so, if you find that sort of thing heightens the romance."

[sulahnan]

"Oh, definitely. I'll even let you get in a few jabs as payback."

[bouchonne]

"I'll take them now," he replies, his tone returning to its usual breeziness. "Hold out your hand."

[sulahnan]

Without so much as a breath of hesitation, she does so, her look of penitence only partly for show.

[bouchonne]

And he takes her hand. His fingers are gentle. And then he reaches up his other hand, and -

Flicks her really hard in the center of her palm. Really hard. Painfully hard. It sure doesn't leave any lasting damage, but it stings like a motherfucker.

[sulahnan]

"Ow!" That really does sting like a motherfucker, and she can't help but flinch. Honestly, she doesn't know what she expected, but it wasn't that. "Okay, that's fair..." She rubs her palm with the fingers of her other hand in an attempt to soothe away some of the sting.

[bouchonne]

"Is it?" His voice is perfectly, faultlessly innocent. He beckons her in again. "Then let's keep going till it's not fair any longer."

[sulahnan]

This time, she does hesitate, but after a moment relents and offers her hand again.

"Okay. You get one more before I'd have to retaliate and flick your ear."

[bouchonne]

He nods, apparently thoughtful - and then pulls her by the wrist, and gets half out of his chair, so he can flick her (hard) on the forehead.

[sulahnan]

She makes an inarticulate noise of surprise at that, and covers Byerly's face with her free hand, pushing him away without much malice but enough force to smush his nose.

"Owwuh! Come on, my face is my best feature, sheesh..."

[bouchonne]

"Oh, don't say that, you'll make me feel sorry for you," he replies. Then he holds out his hand for her hand again.

[sulahnan]

"Nope," she retracts her arms and swivels on the desk to hop off, then immediately swivels again to plop down in the seat across from him, all limbs tucked up onto the chair and un-grab-able. "Save it for the duel, Ambassador."

[bouchonne]

He blinks.

"That was the duel," he says. And then, with a very smug smile - "And I won."

[sulahnan]

What.

"That wasn't a duel!" What the hell? "Duels need swords and a second, and accepted terms and all that horseshit."

[bouchonne]

"Oh wow," he says. "Listen to you, telling me about duels. Listen, my girl, do you know how old my bloodline is? We were fighting duels when Andraste was in diapers. Don't think to school me. I won."

[sulahnan]

"Your bloodline isn't participating," she says. "So it doesn't matter whose diapers they dueled over."

[bouchonne]

"Ah, ma cherie, my bloodline is always participating. It is as present as the air itself. As inescapable as the scent of shit in Lowtown."

[sulahnan]

"Oh, is that why you drink so much?"

[bouchonne]

A wry little laugh. "Wouldn't you drink, if you were me? Anyway; I won."

[sulahnan]

She shrugs, splaying her palms as if to show that she isn't holding anything. "I have no idea what I would do if I were you. But fine, sure, you won and your lady wife's honor is saved."

Pause for effect.

"There's nothing I can do to tarnish it."

[bouchonne]

"There you are, then," he says, with a little wave of his hand. Then a dramatic pause for effect, and he adds, "Well, and also, now you owe me eternal servitude."

[sulahnan]

"Uhhh how about I owe you two bottles of wine instead?"

[bouchonne]

A skeptical noise. "That depends. How cheap are you? You seem like you'd be cheap."