Open | If you forget, is it like it never happened?

[killedwithlove]

WHO: Cole and anyone who needs or wants him
WHAT: Cole's back. If he ever left. Who really knows?
WHEN: Now until end of February.
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: If you want a personal starter, drop me a PM or find me at jemisard

Those sensitive to such things might notice that Cole is back. He's hard to remember at the best of times, and after such a long period, Cole himself expects virtually no one to remember who he is or that he's allowed to be here.

But it doesn't stop him doing what he does. Moving about, helping those he can.

Comments

[not_the_question]

"Oh. So, like telepathy."

Probably won't work on the Doctor for reasons. The Silence were odd ones, but he could remember forgetting them, so his defences have changed drastically after meeting them.

"I can understand that. I one time went across the entire universe deleting myself from history because too many people knew about me. It's better to be just a legend."

[killedwithlove]

"Maybe."

Yes. And no. Either way, Cole isn't really sure. Reality just conspires to make people forget him.

He nods as the Doctor speaks. "I don't understand."

[not_the_question]

"Well, people are known by their reputations. Their stories. I... was able to find all the references to me and remove them. Ah..." Primitives. They're primitive here. "...Purge them. Any scrolls about me, I burned."

More or less.

[killedwithlove]

"You wanted to be forgotten."

Something in Cole twists unpleasantly, but he reminds himself that it's not the same. The Doctor wanted to be forgotten. He was free in his choice. "I understand remove. But how did you remove their memories?"

[not_the_question]

"Yes. The name had gotten bigger than the person."

Basically. It's hard to explain.

"Oh, some it was easy. Just reprogrammed their brains. Others, well. They had their memories, but no proof or evidence that anything had been more than just a dream."

Like he said. He wanted to be no more than a legend.

[killedwithlove]

"What's reprogrammed?"

It's a word that doesn't mean much to him. He understands the intent behind it, he thinks.

[not_the_question]

"Em... Sorry. Technical term. Doesn't matter. Such things don't exist here."

Well. He's going to need a bigger shovel to dig out of this one.

[killedwithlove]

Cole looks hard, trying to see beyond the shard, he can feel the massive net of threads that converge around the Doctor, so many lives and people and so much pain.

"There... are people. So many, know something is gone, maybe not something, threads cut, bleeding forgotten loss..." He draws back and shakes his head, pressing both hands to his eyes. "Hurts to see. Shard too bright. Black hole of hurt spinning out of sight..."

[not_the_question]

That gets the Doctor's immediate attention. All of his mental and emotional barriers snap into place. He doesn't know how this creature knows what he just said or why. But the Doctor now feels threatened by this place in a way he hasn't before. Billions of years of creating mental blocks against others - especially the Master - he's had plenty of practice...

The only outward sign of any change is when he brings his hand to his mouth and looks at the other man. "Reading minds without permission is rude."

[killedwithlove]

The Doctor reacts emotionally and that's what Cole reacts to. He draws back, looking uncertain, a far stronger reaction than the mild outward action should provoke.

"I don't want to hurt. I can't not see. The shard... blinds, but there's still shadows between the shafts, shifting shapes of..." He trails off, looking somewhere else. "This is... inside voice. Don't hear the inside voice, hear the outside voice. I don't know how not to hear."

[not_the_question]

The Doctor smirks. "You're lucky it's just one inside voice. I hear billions."

Well, billions upon billions now that Gallifrey is back in his universe. He offered a slight frown. He can't sense them now.... Not that he's going to test it in front of this creature.

"You shouldn't be able to hear much now. Usually around humans, I don't have to have my defences as high."

But he's glad to hear the Shard helps with it. Maybe he can learn how to harness it's power.

[killedwithlove]

"I don't know what billions is. And I'm not human. But I have an inside voice and an outside voice now. Not like before."

He doesn't know what he is but he knows what he's not. Not human. Not mortal.

[not_the_question]

Okay. That was a strange way to describe oneself.

"Okay... What were the voices like before?"

Because, that's still the most important part to the Doctor. He needed to know how best to protect his mind in this place.

[killedwithlove]

"One voice. Inside-outside self speaks and thinks and is. Mortals are different. Flesh wraps around them and their inside voice and outside voice aren't the same. " He sways on the spot to music that only he hears.

"Now I'm here. And it's different."

[not_the_question]

"Right. Okay. Well, 'different' it is."

The Doctor has no idea what to do now. This is a very strange creature, indeed.

"But if you want to talk immortals compared to mortals, I know several immortals who have flesh."

[killedwithlove]

Cole stares at the Doctor. It's pretty clear that 'immortal' doesn't really mean much to him. "No, not mortal or immortal. Mortal or spirit."

[not_the_question]

He nods. Okay that makes more sense. "Well, I've only met spirits once and even those were just electromagnetic projections. The rest were all aliens..."

Time and Space travel means he's experienced a lot, but not everything.

[killedwithlove]

"Twice."

Because he was more spirit than not.

[not_the_question]

"Well, I understand why you'd say that, but I'll retain my own judgement."

Because that's what he likes to do.

[killedwithlove]

"Okay."

He's agreeing without understanding. He doesn't understand why he'd retain his own judgement on it.

"If that makes you happy."

[not_the_question]

"Well, little makes me happy these days. But it's better than anyone else trying to tell me what my judgement should be."

Which is about all he has to say about happiness.

[killedwithlove]

Cole gets a brief flash of something that would make him happy, a woman, brilliant blue and holding him in her, running away together...

He doesn't understand it. So he stays silent about it.

"What sort of spirits were they? Wrath? Despair? Wisdom?"

[not_the_question]

He considers his answer for some moments. "Slavery."

It was the best description. That's what the Fisherking had done to them. Ripped their souls and turned them into nothing more than a message in a bottle. A beacon. He has another thought.

"With just a hint of being murdery."

[killedwithlove]

"... that doesn't sound like a spirit. That sounds like a thing mortals do.... oh. Murdery. They were Wrath?"

Cole understands what spirits are. In Thedas. And trying to understand anything else while he can't simply read it off someone is very difficult for him.

[not_the_question]

"Wrath is a good way to put it. But it wasn't their own wrath they expressed. It was someone else's."

It wasn't easy for the Doctor to explain because it was a very odd situation to begin with.