faderift | [Open] The same old fears

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[Open] The same old fears

WHO: Hermione and OPEN
WHAT: Hermione comes back from the dark future and sees that she's short one best friend and has gained a whole lot of headaches.
WHEN: Backdated throughout Drakonis
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: Sad things. If we didn't get to play out something in the dark AU but you want it to have still happened, let me know and I can handwave it.

To the Library

The library is, first and foremost, a place of refuge for Hermione. After returning to Skyhold and seeing her injuries seen to, she spends the majority of her first few days back in a place that could give her some semblance of normalcy. Of course, "normal" is a matter of perspective, given that things won't be normal until she's in her proper home, whether that means her parents' house or Hogwarts.

Still, she pores over various books to see what she can find on time travel, hoping that she and the others have indeed done the right thing by opting to return to the present and doing what they can to fix matters before they become unfixable. She'll have to be excused if she's, understandably, a bit distracted if she's interrupted.

Throughout Skyhold (or Hermione Granger and the Search for the Boy Who Lived)

More so than worrying over the morality of fiddling with time, Hermione comes to worry over how long it's been since she'd last seen Harry. She assumes at first that he's out on a mission, but when she finally brings herself to use her sending crystal to try and contact him, she receives no answer. But she'd only ever used it once before, and never for a private message; perhaps she'd done it wrong?

So she begins focusing more and more of her time walking about Skyhold, asking around to see if anyone has seen him. At first she doesn't seem concerned, but as the days wear on and she doesn't hear about him having gone off on any sort of mission, she begins to worry. People go missing all the time, but they weren't Harry. Where could he be?

Throughout Skyhold, Post-Kirkwall Announcement

Though her name isn't marked off as one of those who are being ordered to go off to Kirkwall right away, the fact that she's being forced to go at all doesn't sit well with her. She doesn't have a high impression of the place, but then, she'd only ever been there during a grim future that will hopefully never come to pass. Maybe the Seeker's disdain for it had been nothing but theatrics or a personal opinion.

Regardless, Harry's name isn't listed among those being forced to move, and that only makes her that much more determined not to go. After all, what if he returns from wherever he is and can't find her? So though her behavior doesn't change and she continues to search for Harry, there's also a side of steely determination and indignation in her eyes as she goes about her business, particularly whenever someone mentions the impending move.

Wild card!

Choose your own adventure (so long as it's somewhere in Skyhold)!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Unlike Hermione, Jamie's not so lucky. His name is on the list, and while his reading skills still aren't the strongest, they're at least good enough to know that he's got no choice about the matter. They're also good enough to see that Hermione's name isn't on the list, and that brings out some mixed emotions.

While he suspects he's going to spend a great deal of time on the journey over feeling like his stomach is tied in knots - or worse - a part of him, the part that's prone to stubborn pride, doesn't want to have Hermione see that. The rest of him? Well, it's well aware that with her not going, he'll not see her for at least a month. The thought of that bothers him more than any thought of the faint embarrassment he might feel from being seasick around her.

It's just because she'll be alone - or so he tries to tell himself. Harry hasn't turned up again, and without him here, she's bound to be worrying. That's the only real reason why. Deep down, he knows that's not the entire reason, but he pushes any inkling of that thought aside as he goes to catch up where Hermione is currently searching, determined for the moment to only focus on helping her trying to find Harry while he's still got the chance to do so.

"Any luck, then?"

Really, it seems as though her return to Skyhold has just been getting worse and worse as time goes by, which makes Hermione constantly question whether returning from the future had been the wisest thing to do after all. Of course, she isn't about to judge the validity of attempting to change things for the betterment of the entire world simply because she's having a bad time of it, but there's a small, petulant part of her that almost wonders if it isn't personal on the part of the Maker or whoever else might be in charge of that sort of thing, if anyone.

When she steps out of an empty room she had stuck her head in and sees Jamie coming towards her, she freezes, not knowing what to do. Looking at him head-on doesn't seem like the best of ideas, though, not when she still remembers everything that will never happen, despite wearing proof of it around her neck and hidden under her clothes. So she instinctively glances just past him, hoping he wouldn't take offense and simply assume that she's under a considerable amount of duress as she searches for Harry.

"If you mean with finding out where Harry's gone, not yet. He'll turn up eventually, I'm sure." Not that she sounds overly convinced of that, though, given her memories of Ruby and Samwise and Lara and a whole host of people who've slowly disappeared from Skyhold over the past year. But those people had been different. They hadn't been Harry Potter.

While there's a few things that could wind up offending Jamie, simply looking past him at something else isn't one of them - especially given that he knows that Harry's still missing. All that really winds up happening is that his brow winds up furrowing in faint confusion for a moment before he shrugs it off and moves over to her side.

"Aye, that's what I meant."

She doesn't sound convinced, though, and he thinks he might have an inkling why. He remembers the people who've vanished, too. Lenneth, Marcus, Samwise - and Ruby. Especially Ruby. Maybe things will be different, though, than they were after she'd vanished, and he catches his lower lip with his teeth as he glances in the same direction as Hermione.

"Look, why don't we put our heads together and see if we can't figure out if there's a place you've not had a chance to go to yet? Can't hurt to have a go at figuring that out, just in case he doesn't turn up right away and you're still here after we get sent off."

For a moment, Hermione isn't entirely sure what Jamie's talking about when he mentions getting sent off. But then she remembers this nonsense about the majority of Skyhold being shipped off to Kirkwall, and she looks down with a small frown. "Of course I'll still be here. They can't expect me to just up and leave without Harry being accounted for."

While the Inquisition certainly has a considerable amount of muscle, Hermione's stubbornness knows no bounds, especially when it comes to ensuring the safety of her friends.

Though it still takes her a moment to meet his eyes, she eventually manages to do so, her hand going up to absently toy with the sending crystal around her neck. From the outside, it likely looks as though she's considering the ease with which she should be able to keep in touch with Harry if he were still around, but really, she's just overly conscious of the carved wooden pendant resting hidden behind her blouse. Talking to Jamie for too long might tempt her to say certain things that she shouldn't, or perhaps that she should, but the fact that she doesn't know whether she should or shouldn't probably means that she very well shouldn't.

Even so... avoiding a friendly offer of help never has been her way. Not even when she now has reason to suspect that it might not be solely friendly.

"He's likely just been sent off on some mission or another, or practicing his magic somewhere and forgot to leave me a note. He can be a little scattered like that sometimes. Always has been." And likely always will be. Not that she'll know, if she's stuck in Thedas without him for the rest of her life.

But that's a thoroughly dismal thought, and so she takes a breath and nods, trying for a small smile. "But if you have any other ideas, I'm willing to hear them."

Dismal though the thought is, it's also unfortunately something that makes all too much sense, especially when it comes to rifters. Too many of them have vanished in the past for the thought to not have occurred to him - and even now it's there, in the back of his mind, that Harry may be gone for good.

He doesn't quite have the heart to say so out loud, however. Hermione could be right, after all, if Harry can be as scattered as she seems to think he is. And it's not as though he hasn't gone through something similar like that before, so his reaction to her attempt to push the dismal thought aside is a small snort, followed with a hint of a wry smile.

"Och, tell me about it. There were times with the Doctor that I'd have to go hunt him down because he'd get so wrapped up in something that he'd forget there were other things that were just as important. More so, sometimes."

Like being fascinated with an erupting volcano when they were right in the path of the river of lava it was spewing up, for one thing. But now's not the time for that, because if she is right, then maybe looking a few other places might not hurt, and he gives her a small shrug.

"Aye, well, never mind that. If he wanted to practice his magic, though, think it might be possible he went outside the fortress? Just to get a bit of space, maybe. Or...there's that room down in bottom level, come to think about it. Used to be some books in there when we first started cleaning the place up, but I've no idea if they've kept them there or if they moved everything up to the library."

Going to look couldn't hurt, as far as he's concerned. And if it means he gets to spend a little extra time around her...well, he'd be lying if he said he minded that, even if she seems a wee bit distracted right now.

Part of Hermione doesn't want to be coddled, but she also appreciates not having to hear anyone try and convince her that Harry's gone and might never be coming back. That would imply that he'd found a way back home, and while that would be lovely, he wouldn't go through with it without making every effort possible to find Hermione and bring her back along with him.

Of course, it could also imply other things, such as him having been killed while on a mission, or mauled by a bear, or slipped and fallen down a treacherous path in the Frostbacks and not having been discovered in time. But she keeps telling herself that he's Harry Potter, and he wouldn't have survived all he had just to die like that. The universe might be ambivalent, but it isn't downright cruel.

"Yes, well, the Doctor is quite unique, but I think that much is obvious to anyone who has a single conversation with him." She still doesn't know whether to view that positively or negatively, really, given everything that had happened in the future. She counts him among her friends, but that's mostly because of Jamie. And he had only been trying to do the right thing by discouraging them from returning to the past, but it's so hard to be objective about that sort of thing when she'd already left her world behind, never mind her time.

But the Doctor is a complicated subject, and she has more than enough of those rattling around in her head already. "I think if he were still in Skyhold, I would have found him by now. I'm not sure I know which room you're talking about, though, so it's highly possible I'd just assumed it was someone's living quarters and overlooked it. Would you mind showing me?"

Even if it ends up being just another dead end, at least she'd have spent some time with Jamie before he leaves. Part of it might end up being awkward as she dwells more and more on what his future self had told her, but at least for the most part, he's still just a good friend to her. Anything more complicated than that can happen in its own time.

"Aye, I can do that."

He has to admit, he's slightly curious to see what's become of the place. There'd been enough books in the room that he's not at all sure there's enough room to fit them upstairs...especially that oversized one. He'd not cared much for the look of that one at the time - it'd been open to a page with a symbol that was an uncomfortable reminder of a book he'd come across a long time ago, and if it'd been his choice, he would've gotten rid of it without a second thought.

But it hadn't been, and over time, he'd pushed the thought of it from his mind. Now? Well, it's entirely possible that everything's been packed up already, but it's still worth a look, and he turns to head back towards the keep proper, only to pause and glance back at Hermione with a faintly furrowed brow.

"There's a couple of different ways to get to it, though, so think the question is do you want the shortcut or the longer way around? The shortcut's through the kitchens, so we might have a wee bit of explaining to do if we go that way."

Then again, they might also be able to talk one of the cooks into parting with a bit of a snack, which he admittedly he wouldn't mind at all. But if Hermione didn't want to deal with the extra people right now - and if that was the case, he could live without that bite to eat. Especially if it meant spending a few extra minutes with her.

"That's up to you though. Which way would you rather go?"

"You just keep providing me with more options, don't you?" Hermione comments mildly, managing to offer a small, half-hearted smile.

Ultimately, she wants to find Harry as quickly as possible, both so she can stop worrying about his safety and also because she has so much to unload regarding everything that had happened in the future. She hasn't even been talking to most of the people she's come across, aside from rifters; while most native to Thedas may have lost someone to war or in a senseless act of violence, she doubts very much that they'd understand the unique pain and panic that comes from a rifter missing someone from their home, especially when they'd only just been reunited a few months prior.

But as far as non-Harry company goes, Jamie suits her just fine. That's part of the problem, really, but she's likely making this more complicated for herself than she really has to. Before stepping into the future, Jamie had been her friend, and so this vague sense of awkwardness is inappropriate and unfair, especially when he doesn't know the source of it.

So she takes a small breath as she looks down, not quite able to bring herself to make eye contact with him as she reaches out to take his arm. "I don't mind walking with you a few extra minutes. Especially since you won't be around for much longer."

Her smile's not quite right - and he's tempted, for a moment, to just pull her into a hug then and there. It might not do much to help when it comes to finding Harry, but it's hard to resist the urge to comfort her when she's obviously hurting so. At the same time, though, it would delay their search, and he pushes the urge to the back of his mind, giving her a brief smile of his own instead.

"Aye, well, maybe so. Thought I was doing good with only giving you the two, though."

Given a chance he could probably come up with quite a few more, and maybe if he could spend more time here, he would. As it is, the thought of having to go is enough to spark some grumbling from him, even though secretly he's more than a bit pleased when she takes his arm - and for a split second before the grumbling kicks in, there's a flicker of that in his eyes.

"Not like any of us have much of a choice if we go or not. Don't see what the point is to going to Kirkwall, anyway. Seems to me the things we do would be done just as fine here. And we'd not have to go by boat to do it."

"Well... you don't have to leave today, so there's time enough to search other places. Assuming the idiot hasn't just been hiding in some little-known room without so much as a word to me, but that's a whole other issue."

Because really, as much as she wants to find Harry and know that he's okay, she might need to be restrained from wringing his neck if they find him perfectly safe and sound and he'd just gone off to who-knows-where without leaving word. But she'd wring his neck out of love. Mostly.

She's quiet for a moment as Jamie starts grumbling about going to Kirkwall. She doesn't much like it either, but for entirely different reasons. The only time she'd been in Kirkwall had been in the future, and really... that hadn't painted it in the cheeriest of lights, regardless of what it may look like today.

Instead of imparting on him why it's an important place for the Inquisition to be in light of the information they'd gleaned from the future, she absently asks, "You don't like boats? If I knew whether or not my Apparating worked for certain here, I'd attempt to spare you, but most days I have enough trouble just getting a simple Shield Charm to work properly, never mind something that could result in a nasty Splinching even on the best of days."

If Harry is hiding in some little-known room, Jamie suspects he's in for a good talking to. Putting Hermione through something like that...well, he expects that she'll give him a piece of her mind when all's said and done, and then some, just because she's been worried so. That assumes that they're able to find him, though, and for the moment he decides not to say anything about that part of things.

But as it turns out, Hermione's given him a good reason not to dwell on that part of things - at least for the moment - and as he leads them towards the stairs that'll take them down into the space that leads to the old library, he grimaces, just a little.

"It's no so much that I don't like boats. Give me an oar and I'll do just fine. It's just...aye, well, if you must know, sometimes I'll not do so good on those longer sorts of trips." Especially when the weather's rough, and the grimace deepens for a moment before his expression shifts and he winds up giving Hermione a fairly quizzical look instead. "What's a splinching, though?"

Following Jamie down the steps and not much paying attention to her surroundings, Hermione listens as he attempts to explain his distaste for boats. "Ah. You mean you get seasick. There's nothing shameful in that. Lots of people experience that. You can get your inner ear checked and have something prescribed to you easily enough. Though I suppose that's not so easy around here. But ginger is supposed to be good for that sort of thing, and eating crackers can help with the nausea. Some people use meditation, but while I can see the benefit of focusing your attention on something specific, I'm not exactly the sort to recommend something like that." Shrugging, she adds, "For what it's worth, I don't much like flying. At least, not in the way that most of the wizarding world chooses to do it."

Ever since her personal experience with Splinching, Hermione's been extremely careful and conservative when it comes to Apparating, which explains why she'd never attempted it here despite being in Thedas for about a year already. The last thing she needs is to lose a limb just because she wanted to see if she could get fro one end of the courtyard to another without walking.

"Well, when you Apparate, you're basically transporting your body from one point to another, instantly. However, if you're not careful, you can get Splinched, which is when your clothes or even your body doesn't come back together properly at your arrival point. It could be for any number of reasons, from poor spellwork to not realizing that there would be a wall or a tree in what you'd thought would be an empty space. My friend Ron had failed his Apparation test because he'd left an eyebrow behind. Well, technically half an eyebrow, but since the missing pieces are random, it could just have easily been half of a limb...."

She hesitates, then, frowning a little before quietly bringing up, "I'd Splinched him fairly badly when we had to make a quick escape. A bit of his arm.... There was so much blood. He still carries the scar and claims he rather likes it, but I'd rather not risk something like that again. Understandably, I think."

Normally, the mention of Ron is something that'd get him to frown just a little. He's still not so keen about hearing about the other man, and deep down he suspects he knows why. However, he'd not realized that Splinching was that dangerous - and the frown that might have otherwise materialized for a moment or two winds up being replaced with a look of faint consternation instead.

"You mean if the wrong part doesn't come back it'd could be worse than that? Aye, I can see why that'd not be good, then."

Especially given there's no real way of knowing what might happen here if she tries. She could get hurt - or worse - and his brow knits for a moment before he stops and turns towards her, his hand reaching to cover the one that she'd threaded through her arm earlier.

"Look, Hermione, I know you say you'd rather not risk that again, but if something changes and you think you need to, don't. I- it's too dangerous, here. Not when you don't know how the magic here might affect it."

Post-Kirkwall Announcement

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Morning of Departure

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Sorry for the short at work and on iPad.

No worries! Length isn't an issue for me! ♥

thanks for understanding!

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