faderift | (no subject)

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(no subject)

WHO: Cyril and OPEN
WHAT: The first time that Cyril has opened his stall for a long time but he seems distracted rather than engaging others the way he usually does.
WHEN: A week or so after Sina's death
WHERE: The Gallows - Specifically Cyril's stall at the Gallows.
NOTES: This might eventually result in some discussions of grief and parental death. Close CR might get him to talk a bit about what happened in Pel's nightmare too so all of those warnings may apply.

It has been nearly a month since Cyril has been at his stall. First business with the Inquisition had pulled him away, then a shortage of supplies, then Sina's death and everything surrounding it. Finally, though, he has some wares out to be bought by any who are interested.

There are some basic traps, spring loaded traps, and then, as always, his puzzle boxes. The different items are organized carefully on the table and displayed for any who happen by. Usually, Cyril would be playing with one of the boxes to show how they work, or engaging with those who paused at the stall.

Now, though, he focuses on a sketch he's working on. When someone comes by he smiles at them, and offers pleasant conversation, but rather than being his usually vibrant self he seems a bit withdrawn. He sits by the stall and works on drawing the shape of a woman's face.

If anyone manages to catch what he's working on, they may notice that she resembles him. Or rather, that he resembles her. He had inherited most of his looks from her after all.

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Since Cyril's stall was the in the Gallows, Sam didn't frequent it very often, but today he was making a point in visiting. He had noticed that there was a change in Cyril, not just his mood. Sina's death was still fresh, and he was sure it contributed in some way, but it seemed like there was more then just grief in play here. It didn't help that he hadn't been around for a bit, what with having been in Nevarra - even if he had stayed at the sidelines for most of it.

Sam doesn't approach the stall right away, watching from afar for a bit, but eventually he makes his way over. "Hey," he says softly, heading tilting a bit as if still trying to puzzle something together as he looks at Cyril. "Slim pickings today?"

Cyril looks up the sound of Sam's voice and appears a little surprised. "Sam, love, what are you doing here? Is everything okay?"

He knows Sam avoids the Gallows - and for very good reasons - so he assumes bad things. It's probably a sign of his mood that he jumps to the worst possible conclusion.

He sets aside the sketch book and stands, ready to leave if needed.

It seemed that whatever was plaguing Cyril wasn't enough to lessen his concern over his well-being, which had the mage giving a small smile. It was touching, but with how quickly Cyril is to get to his feet, clearly expecting the worst, it does show how rattled he actually is.

The sketch book certainly catches Sam's eye, he's not used to seeing Cyril drawing, at least not while he was trying to sell his wares, but it'll have to wait for the moment. "Actually that's why I came here; to see if everything was alright. Are... you okay?"

Cyril feels both very relieved nothing is wrong and also anxious at the idea that Sam is going to try to get him to talk about himself. For a long moment, he considers dipping into old habits and playing everything off.

But... he had promised himself to be more honest with Sam, to not waste a second they were together by putting up his walls. Losing Taas to distance and Iskandar to who knew what had made that seem important.

"I... I don't know," he admits honestly. Then he moves back to his stall. "Want to help me man my station for a bit? We can talk while no one seems interested." Of course if someone did come by, Cyril would have to focus on them for a bit.

"Or I could see you after? I don't want you to feel like you have to stay in this place for me."

When Cyril returns to his seat, Sam lingers where he is at for a few moments, chewing the inside of his cheek as he notes the lack of a spring to Cyril's usual step. He follows shortly after to the stall, stopping in front of it rather then joining him behind it right away.

"This place?" He blinks at that, at first thinking Cyril means the stall, but he quickly catches on that he meant the Gallows. "As long as you don't plan on making me sleep here then I'll be fine." He still had to come here for reports or to request supplies. There was also that time he spent a long period staring at that bronze model of his behind. So it isn't like he wasn't here sometimes.

"I can certainly help you man it... Just look pretty right?" He didn't have to actually help with selling anything right? He wasn't sure he could do that.

Cyril smiles at that. "Yes, and you do that wonderfully," he replies with a lot of affection.

After they are both settled, he considers Sam carefully. "Do you mind if I ask a bit of an odd question?"

"Wonderfully," he repeats with a bit of an amused scoff. "I suppose I should do less of a good job lest I become a selling point of your shop." He smiles back in return, glad to see sparks of Cyril's usual self peeking through.

"I... suppose..." Exactly what did Cyril consider 'odd' to ask?

Cyril isn't sure exactly how to ask what is on his mind. So he starts a little awkwardly.

"So... the Fade? You see that place every time you sleep?"

Sam blinks at the question. The question itself isn't odd, but it certainly feels like it came out of nowhere. For a few moments more he just stares before clearing his throat and rubbing the back of his neck.

"From what I've been told, everyone's mind enters the Fade when they dream... except dwarves. Someone like yourself, who isn't a mage, when they wake up, won't remember their dream; maybe snippets or a feeling from time to time." Sam pauses then, adjusting in his chair and forces himself to set his hands in his lap. "As for myself, being a mage, I am more... aware when I dream, and when I wake up I remember all of it."

A look of worry crosses Cyril's face then. "But then how do you get any rest? Aren't there demons and nightmares and all sorts of horrors you'd have to face every time you wish to sleep?"

"My physical body is still resting, so unless something wakes me up, like a nightmare, or makes me restless, I get rest just fine." As he answers, Sam has to wonder if Cyril had heard something about all this, seeing as he hadn't been worried about this particular thing up until now.

"We are certainly more susceptible to demons and the like while we sleep since we are more connected to the Fade at that time, but it isn't 'every time' as you might think. Those who are especially strong might be plagued a lot more often since demons wish for a strong body. Same goes for someone who is very weak, they would be easier to get to."

Cyril's frown is still there on his face. After a moment, he admits a bit of what is bothering him.

"Pel's nightmare was terrible. I'm... I'm really not sure I'll ever forget it."

For a time Sam is quiet. Besides the mention of 'Pel's nightmare' a while back he had heard nothing relating to it. Cyril's questions made a bit more sense now at least.

"What do you mean you'll never forget it?"

Cyril shrugged after a moment and rubbed at his temple. "I'm not sure how to describe it all. And... I'm not sure I want to do it here."

He looked around, and then back at Sam.

"This is silly. I'm not selling anything. Help me pack up and we'll go home?"

"Just tell me where things go." All for packing up and heading home if things aren't busy.

Despite the seriousness of the whole topic, Sam cannot help the small smile that tugs at his lips. It wasn't 'your place', it was 'home'. He's not sure if it was a slip up or Cyril actually thinking it like that, but Sam isn't going to point that out, just enjoy the moment.

Cyril is too lost in his own sense of hurt to even realize the slip happened. Instead, for a while, he focuses on packing everything away and then carrying it back to the house. He is quiet other than giving instructions. Once everything is safely back inside the house, he seems a little jumpy. As if he realizes he was supposed to open up again.

He wonders why this is so hard for him. Why he can't just be normal and enjoy talking to someone he loves about the things bothering him? Why does there always have to be a ball of anxiety that wells up in his stomach at thought of it? He trusts Sam with all that he is, why does he have to always remind himself of that fact?

"Umm... perhaps I should make some tea?" he offers, rather than just getting right back to the topic,

The jumpiness doesn't go unnoticed. He knew Cyril was pretty frayed by this whole thing, being more distant then normal, but it seemed that it was worse then he first expected.

He wants to know what is wrong, but doesn't want to push Cyril either, so Sam also falls into awkward silence. Just as he opens his mouth, finding something to say, Cyril pulls the words right out of his mouth. He snorts lightly at that.

"I would like some tea if you're going to make it."

Cyril nods at that and then moves to sit at the table while Sam starts to make the tea. He isn't sure how to start talking about this, so instead he looks down at the table and waits for Sam to either finish or say something.

Sam allows Cyril his space and silence, watching him for a moment before getting everything together to make the tea. It honestly doesn't take long, but he purposely drags it out, not wanting to rush.

Eventually though he does come over to the table, setting down the pot and cups, filling them right after. "If you need to talk about it, I'm here," he says softly, repeating back the words Cyril had said to him a while back when he was struggling with things of his own.

Cyril takes a breath and then nods. He takes his cup and just holds it for a moment, letting the warmth seep into his fingers.

"So... I mean. You know that we had to go into Pel's nightmare to save her from a demon. I just... I don't know how to begin to explain what I saw there."

Taking a seat and picking up his own cup, Sam stares at Cyril for a moment then gives a small nod at knowing about the incident. That's just about as much as he knew about it though, that Pel had an issue with a demon and wouldn't wake.

"Start where ever you need to. Circle back if you have to. It isn't... always easy to explain."

Cyril has to take another moment. "I saw... My mother? I think that's the easiest to start with. She died when I was so young, I couldn't remember what she looked like. But... it turns out she haunts Pel. Which means that I was able to see what she looked like. And now I feel as if I'm obligated to remember her.

That's why I was drawing her. I don't even feel sad about her, or anything. Just... heavy with a sense that I should feel sad."

Sam is quiet for a moment, sipping at his tea quietly as he considers Cyril's words.

"I can... relate to that. I never knew my mother so it's hard to feel something... but you shouldn't force yourself to try and feel something. Especially something that you witness as a third party in the Fade." Things... warped.

"Just to clarify... you mean the memory of your mother haunts Pel or the demon uses her image to haunt Pel?" Sam pauses for a moment before adding on. "

"I think it was a little of both? It's so strange. She and I share and talk about almost everything and I never noticed how much that death stuck with her. But of course it would. She was old enough to know what was happening when the illness took so many from the Clan, and the Keeper expected her to help with the dead. She was there to be First, after all."

He frowns, staring down into his tea. "I should have been there for her, Sam. I should have realized there was a demon preying on her. I should have done more to help her before things got so bad. That monster... It made me see other things. Terrible things. I can't imagine her having to shoulder that alone for so long."

"You shouldn't be so hard on yourself, Cyril. There was no way for you to know that a demon had gotten hold of her. Even those of us who are familiar with demons in such a way couldn't know until something major happened." Thankfully it hadn't outright consumed her, but it sounds like it was something that had been wearing her down for a while.